"1";"1";"Welcome to your new Beehive Forum" "1";"2";"OMG! It rocks!

And it's purple!
" "1";"3";"Only for you." "2";"1"; "1";"4";"Well duh, but it still is purple! I couldn't make TC purple =)" "1";"5";"I-)" "1";"6";"pics are easy to upload" "1";"7";"PSST! Now it's all BLUE!" "1";"8";"Okay trying again. B-) Greetings! Testing testing. Beta testing, Meta testing.
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "1";"9";"... What I'm saying isn't showing up, you guys have a moderation qeue for incoming posted messages?
B-) Boom shokka boo. It's a very cool blue. Knock Knock!
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "1";"10";"Oh duh is me lol never mind, musta been a sitepost refresh wait thingy. Hello Phorumers!
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "2";"2";"It's grey lol I forgot to try it out in ChatTown like Aqrn suggested.
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "2";"3";"Hmm so it allows you to post sometimes but sometimes says you are not logged in?" "2";"4";NULL "2";"5";"I never knew your birthday was the day before mine! Greetings fellow Scorpio." "1";"11";"I'm working on a chat thingy - I haven't linked it into this site yet, still testing it. Could you check to see if it works ok for you? I'm not sure what exactly webtv supports.

Chat" "1";"12";"

Test page for IRCApplet Class
======================================
IRCApplet
Address: http://meta.constantintilople.com/applets/SimpleApplet.html Changed:7:30 PM on Friday, August 10, 2007
======================================
It's a blank grey page with test page for ircapplet class at the top, two lines under it? Not sure lol. If it's Java applets I can't process those on this browser, though the IRC and HTML aspects of the feature should make it usable there's no input field. used tohave great luck with Chatzy back before tehy got so popular their server started laggign and eventually froze to unloadability. I'll see what I can find on TheFreeSite sometime. (nod)

To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "3";"1"; "3";"2";"A brave new era and an expansion and possible replacement within the Online Meta Empire. So much have we put onto the Internet, so much created. How much will be Used though, how much will be fulfilled, filled with Sitezens? A bright new community in which to house the Internet's most vibrant unique and valued personalities. A stable and stayable environment, protected vigilantly by wise fierce discerning powerful Hostroids and Hammazons. Where Phact and Phiction meet, have lunch, mingle, exchange messages, meet again later, have dinner, get a hotel room lol jk. Where figures can speak and the speech figures. Where a forum is a metaphor of the perception of our various possible realities. Where? The Metaphorum!
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "3";"3";"My only complaint is it's going too smoothly to be true, it's gotta start messing up sometime, something's gonna happen right as I get into and used to the place. Well, that and it's called Beehive lol. I'm no big fan of bees, I used to have a phobia about them before I learned to kill them quickly before they could sting me for existing. I killed a huge spider awhile ago, it was fast, and moving and towards me. WHOMP came down the laundry basket upon it's fragile dusty little frame. Resumed eating my curds and whey in peace. Hmmm, yep, definitely going way too smoothly. My phpbbserver site's already problematic, my invision's a complete frustration, my boardhost6 is just a mystery. And the TalkCity? Well that's a whole other story entirely. I'll tell it there. It's starting to go out in interesting ways on me as well. But well, WELL How are YOU all diggin thi scene so far? :D
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "3";"4";"

As for the beehive logo at the top of the pages, I plan to replace it with something a little more metaphorumy.

The emoticons can be changed and added to if you either dislike them or feel more are needed.

I'll try to work something out with the chat do-hicky - Do you have any difficulties with the Talk City chat? I believe it is also a Java applet - do you access the irc server independently of the applet?

" "3";"5";"

TC Chat does just fine, they have an optimized IRC Interface just for Webtv.

The Emotes are great, though I have seen a set I'd probably have to borrow from Raiven. All medeival. Midevil? Dark Ages. I'm no expert on those kinda things lol.

If you have had any luck with FlamingText.com you're doing better than me. They must have altered the link because I'm getting the grey screen of denial from them the last few months. (fail)

To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "2";"6";"Right the heck on. Yep, it's in my TC Profile/s too.
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "2";"7";"It'll allow posts, but when making changes to options or profile it'll freak and tell me that I need to be logged in to do that. Might just be a security measure to prevent profile hijacking.
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "4";"1";"[Getting a Devil's Haircut with a Hotwax for Lord Only Knows because of the New Pollution has me Derelict with Novacane like a Jack-@$$ Where It's At Minus that Sissyneck who's Readymade to High 5 in a Ramshackle at your Beck and call.]

!Authors!, Artists! & Poets! - PsychaMetaDelaPhormic!

Twist and bella, rockafella, shiney lights, react, distract.

I once looked, the pages booked, the pictures within turned to black.

All light is gone now, where is here, what are cigars, what is beer.

Who is this I'm seeing now, the mirrors broken, stretched, dusty.

I see me, this cannot be, I'm like a truck that's old and rusty.

I used to be so young so bright, everything was wrong or right.

Everyone followed rules, noone died and none were fools.

The world could end soon it heads that way, day by day I waste away, which will end first the earth or me, it's not a question of how but when, you'll see.

Random thoughts on wooden casters rolling sludgy thru the plaster, IM THE MASTER, blaster's mine, I've left real Disasters behind. I've burned bridges, still I smile, people ask IM NOT IN DENIAL, still they lie, still they doubt, still I block out their words, still I shout at birds. Of course they flee, scared of all, live in fear until they fall. Die, and die and make it soon so can skin ya like Daniel Boone, there's a guy who's where it's at, wore his pets like furry hats. Ot much more to really state, staying up here way too late.

Try making sense as much as I might, I must concede and say goodnight.

"Good Night!."

Bend the metal ever slowly down, wrap it tightly suffocate the clown, imprison him until the time is right, inject him with this poison and release him into night.

All he needs is moonlight rays shining down, to turn his features away from the clown, his teeth and fingernails will growly quickly, his fetid breath glowing eyes and pallor now sickly.

He lopes and lumbers, stumbles thru the timber, don't be fooled by this carelessness, he's actually quiet limber. He's on his way now north west and east, a big white house contains his feast.

Front door, knocking, standing there panting. Fogging up the window, darkening the landing. A little man from tumbleweed opens the door curiously, first mistake this man did make was not having security.

The clownbeast reached forth and eagerly grasping the little southern turkey neck and chuckled at the gasping. He twisted it crackled, he yanked it popped, he bit and pulled and wrenched it off and then the breathing stopped.

Prize in arm he laughed with glee and back south west he went, and on the doorstep of that white house a headless resident.

"Yeah, I'm a little creepy, lol, for the last time Good Night."

Haiku Time!
"The Godfather of Dominoes"
Take what you will now,
But leave something for me too,
Pizza's Expensive!

I'm surrounded in myself, all I see is various phorms, each one a different feature, a creature beyond the norm.

Aluminus Kann, giant and metallic, a decepticon rebel now an autocon smartaleck. He stands taller than most but kneels to humble himself, and won't hesitate to give up any helpful parts upon his shelf. He's been dashed and smashed and forgotten about, but for here, his new homebase he'll proudly twist and shout and cheer. And when you see him near, he's a vocal chatterbox, he transforms rolls in and out and he just plain rocks.

CryptoKnight's been around me since the beginning, in the occult research of creatures he alway seems he's winning. The Cobalt Manticore lives on, older and wiser, with determination with information he'll never be a miser. His heart is in the nighttime hills, surrounded by sights and sounds that would give most the chills. He's got a cause, a purpose in his field and to likeminded folks, his perceptions he will yield.

Stargoyle, damn what more can be said, he's of the origins, the births and communing with the dead. He's walked with gods and demons and spirits beyond description, his steelrock form floats in his own universe beyond depiction. Treading always a fine line between evil and what is good. Defying both to the definition we thought we understood.

He is what he is, standing outside defining and openmindedness in giving those around him that very same refining.

The2Metacats, not around as much as before, blocking the hallway or wedged in front of the door, laying on the floor or staring at me now.

Begging eating pieces of dead bird, fish or cow. Back by popular demand, usually furrily out of hand, with them two never ever is as planned.

Their food is bagged or canned, their breath it surely shocks, but not quite as bad as that smell of their litterbox.

As for me? Damn, The Meta, neither a playa nor a hata, changes shapes to suit my needs, on information I cooks and feeds. Mostly always eager to please, being a mystery of nature and the nature of mysteries. So you might not know me very well, but that's all well and good, because even to myself I am not totally understood. OF all the unknown things in life, on earth, in space, in other dimensions, I retain that fragile but sturdy disbelief in suspension. Who knows what really's held inside my fate or destiny, but together we will find it out, just I and All of Me.

"Well, that one kinda flopped on it's @$$, lmao."

More creepy weird vague crap from
Soul/itar/y Re/define/meant Probably just a Blog
MySpace.com
Judges, Juries & Executioners
October 27, 2006 - Friday
I mean this Literally.
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Crack my thumbs, fingers, ok, nothing else on the hands but the hands gets in the way. The keyboard's almost always too small, fingers too big, here's what all I wrote, so I gave up on rhyming, who cares. What matters is I filled up each category of blog here with at least something to say on everything and aint even posted a picture yet, but I will, should, at least soon, as possible.

Fraaaaaggh, post!

A line dancer sells the ball bearing behind the tornado to the tomato.

When a green girl scout starts reminiscing about lost glory, the parking lot beyond another ball bearing starts reminiscing about lost glory. Most people believe that the scythe tries to seduce a statesmanlike senator, but they need to remember how non-chalantly another class action suit ceases to exist. A cocker spaniel of a light bulb hibernates, and a bartender from a freight train leaves; however, a tornado graduates from a lover of the cocker spaniel. An asteroid over an ocean Some pickup truck inside the grand piano procrastinates, and a chess board for a buzzard hesitates; however, a mean-spirited jersey cow eagerly trades baseball cards with the briar patch. For example, the particle accelerator indicates that a bowling ball figures out the most difficult fruit cake. Most people believe that a turkey completely secretly admires a stoic blood clot, but they need to remember how knowingly the turn signal defined by an apartment building beams with joy.
When a tabloid is gentle, the outer globule tries to seduce the inferiority complex. A grand piano around the ski lodge feels nagging remorse, but a satellite secretly admires an asteroid inside an ocean.

This be just some of te nonsense included in a typical spam email, I have no idea why they put all that in there, it's probably to justify it by trying to look like an email with some content, no matter how nonsensical? I don't understand you humans.

Fall slowed softly by a growl in the air, a slowing of time or a cushion right there, a landing a looking eyes alight, fangs are bared so smiles the night, who owns the night, try asking again, noone owns the night, the night owns them. They are the walkers of shadows unseen, they are the darkness of all human beings, and yet not even human, are they who stalk, but yet another form of existence that dares to walk, to fly to skim, to swoop dive and rest, a scratching at my door and chill draft is felt, I go to the door and there she knelt. I invited her in.

I've had this song in my head amlost all day today and it hasn't gotten old, the lyrics I'm not sure about, but the beat is unshakable, something I can breath fire and shoot lightning out with. Linkin Park Lyrics With You I woke up in a dream todayTo the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floorForgot all about yesterdayRemembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymoreA little taste of hypocrisyAnd I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to reactEven though you're so close to meYou're still so distantAnd I can't bring you backIt's true the way I feelWas promised by your faceThe sound of your voicePainted on my memoriesEven if you're not with meI'm with youYou, now I see, keeping everything insidewith youYou, Now I see, Even when I close my eyesI hit you and you hit me backWe fall to the floor the rest of the day stands stillFine line between this and thatWhen things go wrong I pretend the past isn't realI'm trapped in this memoryAnd I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to reactSo even though you're close to meYou're still so distantAnd I can't bring you backIt's true the way I feelWas promised by your faceThe sound of your voicePainted on my memoriesEven if you're not with meI'm with youYou, now I see, keeping everything insidewith youYou, Now I see, Even when I close my eyesWith youYou, now I see, keeping everything insidewith youYou, Now I see, Even when I close my eyesNo, no matter how far we've comeI can't wait to see tomorrowNo, no matter how far we've come II can't wait to see tomorrowWith youYou, now I see, keeping everything insidewith youYou, Now I see, Even when I close my eyesWith youYou, now I see, keeping everything insidewith youYou, Now I see, Even when I close my eyes.

Sometimes Hello it's me oops, sometimes when you get a song in your head it's a way your mind is trying to tell you something, or gets stuck in your head because some part of it is trying to reach you. At least that's my most current assumption, slap it on in, the cd, linkin park
hybrid theory or reanimation.

There's something there I just can't quite put a finger on.
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "5";"1";"!Authors!, Artists! & Poets!   -     ~Introduction and Foreward!~
From: Metaphorm    7/15/2005 7:52 pm To: ALL  Poll (1 of 7)  639.1 
~Introduction and Foreward!~
Omg, he's actually Done it, it's Here, IT IS HERE! Hey, you guys got a coffee shop here too? Barnes&Nobles has one. Why not Here? Hope to see my fave writer here drop by here and write here. Ah finally, a place to showcase my TaLeNtS! I nevr lurnt to reed or rite.

From: Metaphorm    7/15/2005 8:01 pm To: ALL  Poll (2 of 7)  639.2 in reply to 639.1 So, in thinking that he could forecast the trends and changing climate of what the citizens of the Kingdom of Metaphorum, The Phorumers, wanted, it was changed. Lord Meta flipped a switch and magically, shelves of glowing books and scrolls were either translocated or vanished to the nothingness of meaning. He smiled, all was good as he looked out the window over the courtyard, empty but for the occasionaly passerby. He looked up at space and the planet the Kingdom orbitted. Such works would be seen, such potential discovered, such life and spirit and confidence would reinforce itself in wondrous expressions of individual creativity.
He looked grimly at the writing desks and artist's easels crudely set up and connected to brutal looking energy syphons. None of that creativity was going to waste, not this time...,

"What kinda guy refers to himself in third person as Lord, lmao!"

From: Derkein  7/17/2005 10:19 pm To: Metaphorm   Poll (3 of 7)  639.3 in reply to 639.2 I'll give you a dozen of my scribblings to kick it all off. Maybe it will get someone to come up with something better than my jibberish...lol

From: MidniteSun   7/18/2005 5:49 pm To: Metaphorm   Poll (4 of 7)  639.4 in reply to 639.3 I'll pitch in a few of my old poems too...prolly not as good as Derkie's but wth right?

From: Metaphorm    7/18/2005 8:00 pm To: ALL  Poll (5 of 7)  639.5 in reply to 639.4 His silver taloned gauntlet flicked one sharp digit at a switch casually, upping the power intake. Two flashing meters indicated power was increasing in two of the pods. Hundreds more were in passive reception mode, storing up power until such a time they too were ready to generate their own output. He tightend the seals on his metal mask and wheezed for effect, crossing his arms he stalked the place, cape flowing as much as it could for dramatic effect in the boringly still air.

From: Derkein  7/21/2005 6:02 am To: MidniteSun   Poll (6 of 7)  639.6 in reply to 639.4 Yours are fine. Just keep writing.

From: Metaphorm    7/21/2005 7:33 am To: Derkein  Poll (7 of 7)  639.7 in reply to 639.3 Your's are fine too, there isnt much to better or worse about, just differences in style. I'd be writing way more, but I set an impossibly high standard for myself which I rarely meet except when the mood tide is up. My main weakness is I have to be highly visual because to me the abstrack iz tu sliperee. Mi spellign houeffer iz empiccibul! Nyaah nyaah!

"Displaying proudly the merits of the G.E.D. since '03."
:O)
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "6";"1";"Metamember Blogs! -  Metaphorm Memoirs 
From: Metaphorm    2/10/2006 1:44 am To: ALL  (1 of 16)  878.1 MARY HAD A LITTLE PIG, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little bastard. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread. JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men. Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again. HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock. GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry. And when the boys came out to play, He kissed them too 'cause he was gay. There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad.. She got a fur coat, jewels, A waterfront condo, And a sports car.
Metaphorm sits and types out the first part of his blog, he's a gothic redneck pagan reject at home on a harley hog, his brains would be studied in a lab of some sort, his birth doctor should have given the order to abort, with a smile that'd get him a job in dentistry as it puts you ill at ease, grinning pressing POST for this entry.

From: Metaphorm    4/22/2006 6:37 pm To: ALL  (2 of 16)  878.2 in reply to 878.1 Sighhhrrrr, ya wanna know why I oppose the war? Fervently dislike George Bush? It took someone away from me, a friend such as I will never know again.

In Loving Memory!: Tony R. Tyler. http://community.webtv.net/Metaphorm/InLovingMemoryTonyR

This is an online webpage I made up as kinda a memorial site, among a couple others. This one gives you a look and insight into one of this planet's brightest stars, and a trauma I don't talk about much.

From: Aqrn   4/24/2006 11:12 am To: Metaphorm   (3 of 16)  878.3 in reply to 878.2 Ooo. So sorry meta! Reading there was painful. You've lost a lot of friends. I don't know what it's like to lose anyone close.

Not yet! I don't know how I'll react, but I hope it's with lots of laughs.

Laughs for most people. Not the closest. Arg. I can't think of any way to be happy losing the closest people.

I really like what his sister wrote.

I think that it's brothers and sisters who know a person best when they were young, and likely when they're grown up if they stay close.

My brother and I don't keep close contact. But I know things my mom would never know. Mostly silly things, like the Great White Hooter Hunters (he and his friends would pretend to be at school).

Ag is my best friend, my brother, my soulmate, my partner for life. It miiiight sound a little weird calling a partner of this sort a brother, but he's just like a brother. We're so childish sometimes. And we play games, and tell each other our secrets. We laugh about jokes we've had going forever, and they never get boring. Other people don't know what's passing between us, but we're thinking the same things. We know how to make each other laugh. That's fun.
And omg, is that AriesPhoenix MonotarRach?? I thought she was so long gone.
Aqrn

From: Metaphorm    4/24/2006 1:11 pm To: Aqrn   (4 of 16)  878.4 in reply to 878.3 Rach IS so far gone, she's never forgiven me for turning down drunken advances, and I've never seen her with as much respect if any since.

I've lost a friend, a brother, an uncle, all grandparents, a few cats, a cousin and my first heavy heavy 6th grade crush. Death's pretty familiar to me, lol.

Ya wanna know how to forge a true diehard god-hating athiest pagan rebel? Tell him it was all a part of God's Plan. This, from God, was very poor customer service and as such I refuse to frequent his establishments anymore.

Tony's around when I do those things we liked doing, online/video gaming, battletech, anime, and the fine art of people-watching, lol.

From: Stargoyle    5/14/2006 5:17 pm To: ALL  (5 of 16)  878.5 in reply to 878.4 In Honor of sending and receiving posts and emails from myself, true proof have too much time on my hands. My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times to get to the message.

Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi, or Dr Pepper, since the people who make these products are atheists who won't put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS, or FedEx, since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of mine's next door neighbor's ex-mother-i n-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
______________________________________________
______________________________________________
______________________________________________

From: Metaphorm    6/14/2006 2:22 am To: ALL  (6 of 16)  878.6 in reply to 878.5 Winding down slow and easy, damn I got no red wine. Hrrrmmmm, clk clk clk, what's in the r'fridgetator..., Nothing good in Fridge, but we got CHEESE NOW!

Thweet! Thp thp thppppt! Guess I'm stuck for what to say here. Just trained yet another guard for the site I'm at, hope he has it all down good enough. One day yes one day soon this can all be his, lol. Keys to the kingdom and all that. I'm pretty much ready to discontinue participation in that farce of a job, but for having another job to jump to, but that will come. It has to. Fffppphhht. Hmmm..............................................................................................................................cheese is cool, lmao. Alright, damn, good night, haha.

From: Metaphorm    11/2/2006 2:37 pm To: ALL  (7 of 16)  878.7 in reply to 878.6 Some more bad news.
E-mail message Subject: Shoe
Hey everyone,
 I have bad news. Shoe (Carl Wiggenhorn) passed on last night.
His liver failed and he died of internal bleeding. Friends that were with him at his home tried to save him with CPR but he was pronounced by EMTs at 3:00 AM this morning. I will update you as any plans for services time and date.
We pray that he is with our Lord Jesus Christ as I write this.
Along with that bad news, Sunnie's battle with cancer continues.
Doctors were already giving her around 6 months due to stage 4 breast cancer. Last week doctors found 2 walnut sized tumors in her brain (brain cancer). She goes in for brain surgery this Friday over in Lubbock.
 Paul & Sunnie
Biker For Christ Motorcycle Ministries, Roswell NM

I never knew Shoe, another biker friend of my aunt and uncle's, but anyone's passing is an uncomfortable time for me. There's like no right way to approach death unless you're dying yourself it seems. My aunt however is a different story, burly tough gruff no nonsense heart of a golden harley davidson, but still sensitive enough to believe in magic, look at crystals, drink herbal remedies. A kind of a biker witch, a chrome airbrush sorceress of nature and the open road. I'm not handling this well currently, my wordings hide it, but I'm a barely held back malfunction of emotion waiting to happen. The gut cramps, the throat knots, the eyes burn, I'm there. This sucks. I'm really gonna start to hate my birthday when people keep making it their deathday. I'm gonna go buy a Harley soon, yep, I've just decided to. It does't even have to be a fullsizer, it could be a 5 dollar model, but it will be bought. For me, or more for my aunt. I have a memorial shelf here, on it are symbols of those who've gone on before me. Castle UncleBud death by cirrhosis, Jade Dragons for Dusty who died in a gang execution his fave critter, Tony the Tiger for PFC Tony T death by apparent but suspicious and still being investigated suicide in the army, yin yang tigers for my brother Jason killed by accidental suicide with ball and powder pistol, guarded by gargoyles and the appropriate supernatural superheroes and castle strongholds I still prayed I'd never totally fill that shelf up, that the last effigy would tribute me, but as long as I live others will have a chance to get a head start on me.

From: Metaphorm    Aug-14 8:49 am To: ALL  (8 of 16)  878.8 in reply to 878.7 Julien K's Technical Difficulties plays top volume, making those much more cool to endure lol, but as for that coolness I have but this to say http://www.elks590.org:80/main/cooltest.htm and then it's done. TalkCity is still nice, yes, but it's not letting me change profile, not letting me set profiles to new addresses for email message notifications! What you see isn't what you get anymore, but it's all you get now.

The new site constructed by Agrajag is some tight cool sight to site to see. Probably not ready to be revealed yet, and I'm not sure if it's the Trial site or the final draft, depending on how it's hosted I guess. The new LotGD is fun too, and I'm finding myself competitive, probably not doing so well but in the runnings nonetheless. If Agra managed to set that one up free my teeth are chattering as to how lol. Point is I wanna slap some props to Agrajag and Aqrn for their body of work and spirit in presence. I can't really get into why I was gone for so long other than the obvious of life, work schedule, health, energy, mood, and other personal time space anomalies.

These two are firebrands and we're too lucky to have em.

The dark lady Raiven has returned also, equally disgusted with that Shade board poorly moderated and sickeningly read lol. Even Zagreo has managed to sneak back in! Another weird new name, but he's watched closely and seems at peace with himself and others. Ya gotta admit he adds a spunk and spice to the place seen nowhere else on the Www. The unique and only Zagreo The Neopagan.

I'm listening to the AM Radio, those contestants vying for the job I feel BarnCat should have rightfully gotten are doing moderately variable. The're not The Cat, they're passable, but damnit they are not BarnCat. He's taking it hard, any other job judges you on just experience skills certifications and work history, but Radio and other talent based jobs judge you on the level you can feel on your own Self Worth! Barny's crawling back outta the slump and searching for plan B, wait no? Okay plan T he's up to now lol. He's losing his mind here, he knows he's for better things than security work in entry level hell, but how those in power are judging have determined to keep him down. STargoyle's got more info on His CAtly Self than I presently have access to. It'd make for a good book or movie like Howard Stern's movie parts lol, that is once it ends fulfilled. Perpetual entry level hell as a movie wuold drag on as boring and incomprehensible as Blair Witch Project without the scary.

Well I hang this up here folksiessss, the Sangria has buzzypillowed my brainpan and I still have yet to figure what I'm having for Breakupper Dinnerfast whateverrr lol damnit.

Technical Difficulties, Coolness, skip reverse, play again, cue glass tip and toast, cigar in the oppressive sun for as long as I can stand, catch up on text messages, succumb to the little death of sleep.
:D
Btfw, I got TMNT the new CGI version, it kicks hoop and sells affordably. GoodDamnNight!

From: HenryDurga  Aug-17 1:58 am To: Metaphorm   (9 of 16)  878.9 in reply to 878.8 Tururú! Tururú!
Zagreo The neopagan has died.
HenryDurga rules!!!!! lol

From: Metaphorm    Aug-17 7:31 am To: HenryDurga  (10 of 16)  878.10 in reply to 878.9 Remind me to look that up sometime, wasn't he some kind of artist from India?

From: HenryDurga  Aug-17 4:03 pm To: Metaphorm   (11 of 16)  878.11 in reply to 878.10 lol bro
We both know Zagreo cannot die because he is immortal!!!
I kept him in jail!!!!!
I sent to him the Titans!!!!! lol
HenryDurga??? I don't know what i wrote when I first came with that name... But HenryDurga comes from ENRIQUE (my second name) and DURGA (a hindu goddess, wife of Shiva)...
Did I say I was a famous artist from INDIA???? ajajajjaajajaajaj
Ganesha could hit me with his nose!!!!!
IM A LIAR!!!!!!

From: Metaphorm    Aug-17 5:02 pm To: HenryDurga  (12 of 16)  878.12 in reply to 878.11 LoL, it's therapuetic to be able to reinvent oneself, trust me I reinvent four selves almost yearly.

From: HenryDurga  Aug-18 4:38 am To: Metaphorm   (13 of 16)  878.13 in reply to 878.12 YEAH, BRO...THAT'S WHY I DO THEATER!!!! (OR "THEATRE" LIKE NOZVERATU ALWAYS SAY TO ME lol). 

From: Metaphorm    Aug-20 7:29 am To: HenryDurga  (14 of 16)  878.14 in reply to 878.13 Or Teatro, but up in Washington State we's just calls it Theeter! :D
 
From: Metaphorm    Aug-28 8:04 pm To: ALL  (15 of 16)  878.15 in reply to 878.14 (AN Older rant, but a goodie, I should have put up as a disclaimer lol. It just cannot all be said enough, people still ask.)

Soul/itar/y Re/define/meant Probably just a Blog
October 27, 2006 - Friday
WebTV, Web on my TV, and how all that works out.
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

I'll slap this on here because I'm tired of repeating myself, lol. Let's see, I bought this webtv for 40 bucks several years ago, it has slow dialup, takes forever to get to some places, for never to get to others.

No I will not buy another computer, I am not made of money.

I have uninsured medical bills up the yin yang yuan, I do not make large loads lump sums of money, got bills from way back, old bills, interest / disinterest, my money manager somehow cannot stock the place with edible foods, but somehow box catalog items are arriving at least weekly.

I am on and can do what I afford. I have, access to, three total cellphones. Two are on the way out cause Verizon f'n sucks. They're pricing us right into the pits of hells. I can see within view 2 printers, one has stopped working, the other hasn't started working yet.

We have various computer components around, and none have gotten online successfully, most of them corporate employee handmeouts. Very dubious if they'll ever get online. One of those hard drives set to work daily eating and deleting it's own files. It had ta go.

Dude get a dell? Dude go to hell. Go Gateway? Gates of hell, might as well go with Dell. I dunno. Shoot. Why is it so necessary to be able to go everywhere on the net when all ya need is a few steady faves, 2 - 3 liked and liked back forums, a chat or two and your own halfast decent webpage?

Am I a fuddy duddy for thinking this?
I'm just now mastering HTML HyperText Mumblemumble Language. Img Src is fun, Midis too. Href or is it Ahref?

I fumble mumble and stumble my way through.

So anyways, people, please get up offa my case, suggest, don't demand, say it once and do not repeat, please believe me and knock off the WHY HAVENT YOU and OMFGD I CANT BELIEVE YOU and MAN I TOLD YOU YRS AGO TO and other stuff, people are gonna fall off messenger list like this.

Just realize it's very frustrating, it is a brick wall, all I have to tell you has been told, the rest is personal. I don't have to justify anything to anyone, lol sure I can judge, but judge me not lest I judge you myself. I do what I can with what I got until what I can get increases after what I got now quits allows me to get other stuff, better stuff.

Keep it under your hat, but we just got in some more used corporate computer components handed me downs from a local company moving to a smaller space. There is no guarantee they'll work, as we've had terrible luck with anything highly electronic we so much as looked at wrong, but if they can get up and functional...,

That'd sure be a nice thing, lol. So the parts are there now, they just might need more desk space, to be operational, to be patient.

(It's mostly Reygar who keeps telling me to get a computer, I think he does it just cause he knows it irks me lol. It's not up to me, it's not within my options. I've never seen a YouTube anything, they don't load, I can't access Flash games, I can't open PDF files and spf files and the other weirder lesser used ones, they keep getting sent to me though, so I keep sighing and deleting them. It just feels like folks think I'm lying or lazying out of checking out every link forcefed down my throat. I get one window at a time, and the loading for some of them is interminal, especially with msn messenger on, it'll sometimes just freeze, you cannot imagine the irritation I had seeing SEE IT YET? on my monitor just as that particular set of words freezes and crashes the screen. So no, I don't see it. Nowadays I just get up and walk so the site can load and the person who wants me to see it gives up and eats silence. Is it any wonder I set up Websites? In order to keep in contact with mass loads of people without crashing my weakling meagerish systems. Here's something funny lol my waiting game might be winning out, the Mrs.Meta is starting to get really irked about the loading times on this lol so I think maYbe all those computer components might one day mysteriously assemble and function if I can wait it out long enough. ;) There's a madness to my methods!) :-&
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "7";"1";"HI! What. I just thought I'd ask lol. Welcome to what we have of the site going so far as of the date of your imminent reply.

You're at The TypeCastle! http://meta.constantintilople.com/

Save it to faves, even dare to make it your homepage, as long as you're friendly we're friends. All are welcome, some may even stay. I just like saying that, it has a doofy sound to it.

So it's not TalkCity or Proboards or Chatzy or MSNGroups or whatever, but it's niiice, give AgraJag & Aqrn a quick thank you on the way in. Feel free to register too, it's free and confidential. We do not add your name to spam mailing lists or sell it to the friendly folks of GitMo, as in GitMo and mo terrorists, as in Guantanamera Bay Cuba. I prefer as full as possible profiles, but put down as much as you feel confident to. The smaller your profile, the larger your sunglasses.

As if the date of THIS Posting, I'm still moving some stuff over and with The MetaPhorum we're talking about almost half a decade of free roaming rampant thought so I'll try, but I'm not burning myself out lol.

All 4 now, Welcome to The TypeCastle!
To the Mysteries of Nature and the Nature of Mysteries!
" "8";"1";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/4/2003 1:35 am
To: ALL (1 of 19)

>These are excerpted from a previous authoral attempt, some names have been changed to protect originality and all.<

>Soultron and Skyscythe are what are known as Seekers, Originally a type of flying scouting war craft, on earth they've assumed the form of military aircraft (See: Starscream, Thundercracker, etc) Soultron had just fallen to Earth and was restored by two of his oldest allies who had already landed, SKy and his lifemate, Soundbyte. SB on a whim has chosen a DJ's danceclub mixing turntable assembly as her disguise form.<

>At this point in the story, Soultron and his forces prepare for a battle with a landing party of Decepticons led by Megatron's closest lackey, Shockwave. and two more pods are activated containing, Aluminus Kann (ME! YAY!) and Shear Luna-C. Kann transforms into a towtruck, Shear into a jetcopter. Nuff for now, enjoy the read!<

Soultron and Skyscythe journeyed into the heart of the volcanic tomb, carefully avoiding the molten rock that ran beneath.

\"Sir? How do you know they will come here?\" Skyscythe dashed avoiding a stream of lava pouring through the rock way around him. \"They are destined to come here. It has been foretold.\"

Soultron moved along the rock, every so often passing his hand over their worn expressions.
\"I don't understand, what happened up there? I saw you fall…\"

Soultron turned to his companion and suddenly a great darkness overcame him. \"You saw nothing…\"

Skyscythe was never more terrified than at this moment. The glaring eyes of his leader quickly approached him, but he could no longer see any form to which they belonged.

Something was wrong.

Several streams of flowing lava entrapped him and there was not much ground to fend off any assault. An unusual fear, unlike any sensation he had ever felt before held him still. A low rumbled had developed within his audio receptors. The eyes stopped.

His leader returned.
\"I…I am sorry Soultron, yes, something did happen up there I remember. The matrix is…making hard to focus.\"

Soultron returned to his trek towards the Ark and Skyscythe loyally followed, if now at a greater distance.

\"The matrix is killing you sir, it cannot be kept nor open by a Decepticon.\"

\"Unfounded myth.\" Soultron replied coldly. \"The matrix allows whoever is worthy to possess it.\"

We encountered it before.

Soultron and Skyscythe flew up to the opening in the Ark and entered. They quickly made their way back to the main chamber as the last kick was delivered to Soundwave's head. The body of the broken Decepticon fell to the floor and Soundbyte stood triumphantly over her conquest.

\"Had you been waiting an eternity for this?\"
Soultron questioned as he entered the central command center once again. Soundbyte revealed a satisfactory smile as Soultron approached.
\"I had hoped for more of a challenge.\"

\"The Decepticons that came on this mission were weak fools. Not our finest moment.\"

Soultron looked again at the remains of Megatron. An image of Nocturna filled his mind.

\"Why did I follow you into darkness?\"

\"My lord?\" Soundbyte approached.

\"No, its nothing. Memories of a life I never had. But my fortunate journey through space has landed me back in the company of my forces and we have captured the Autobot's most prized possession.\"
\"We have the matrix?\"
Soundbyte stepped back.
\"Yes, I now carry that which the Autobots crave most desperately. We are now in command of this war. And there is time for change.\"

\"Then our mission is a success, for we have found you my lord and you will lead us over Shockwave and his forces once we return to Cybertron.\"
Soundbyte moved closer to her leader.

\"That may happen sooner than you thank my dear Soundbyte. For the matrix has granted me an unusual gift. There is a battalion of Decepticons approaching earth as we speak.

\"Shockwave is with them.\"

\"Our time to take power is now. I say we launch a full assault against them when they arrive.\"

\"No Skyscythe, not a full assault. I will go myself.\" Soultron glanced once again at the body of Optimus Prime.

\"This I must do alone.\"

\"But Soultron..\"

\"Soundbyte, you and Skyscythe have served me well. You have found me and I will deliver our people from Shockwave's inadequacies. When the Decepticons arrive, flank their position and draw their fire. I will deal with the main forces myself.\"

Betrayal.

That is what I know. That is the honor that I hold to. Shockwave betrayed me and I will betray him. It is a vicious cycle, life as a Decepticon. But no longer. I am not a Decepticon any longer and I don't think I ever was.

No.

We have never been a Decepticon. We don't understand them and their ways. We understand unity and darkness. We understand destruction and chaos must be consistent and constant. That is what we are. That is what we once were.
{Long have I dwelt beneath the deep awaiting this moment. Transformers...a race of machines....they know nothing of what lies within the void of their world. I have awakened. I am reborn and now I am....
Soultron.
I await both Autobot and Decepticon. I will show them the pain of darkness.}

Skyscythe and Soundbyte watch Soultron fly off.
Skyscythe:\"Ok we may have to defend ourselves, and i have and idea how to draw their flank.\"

Soundbyte:\"What?\"

SkyScythe:\"Well i'll go near the volcanos mouth and fly out shooting, when they least expect it distracting them.\"
He turns and places his arms on her shoulders
\"While you hide near some rocks we saw earlier on the ground, and playing some of your seismic shock music.\"

Soundbyte:\"And that should disorient them enough so u can knock them out of the sky.\"

Skyscythe:\"Exactly.\"

Soundbyte looks into his eyes.
Soundbyte:\"I love it when u get into all 'planning mode'\" She turns quickly, before he can embrace her. With her back to him.

Soundbyte:\"I might use one of my viruses on Teletran One get him to be on full alert and shoot everyont except us and Soultron.\"

SkyScythe:\"That would be great, Good Luck.\"

Skyscythe begins to walk off. Soundbyte looking unhappy walks off as well towards Teletran Ones main screen.
SkyScythe runs to her and spins her around he quickly embraces her and kisses her.
SkyScythe:\"Don't die on me, I want to continue this later.\"

And with that he flies off, leaving Soundbyte feeling very giddy.

Ducking quickly back behind a boulder, Aluminus shook his head and wondering how deep the slag he stepped into was.

{and where is Shear?}

Upon activation after landfall, his circuits had picked out a simple form of wheeled transport for his secondary form and a crude laser rifle and photon blade.

{Both seem to be low on energy...Slag!}
After a seemingly endless slumber, he awoke.

{Where have we wound up now?}

He knew somehow it would'nt be enough.

{Where is

" "8";"2";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/4/2003 2:07 am
To: AluminusKann (2 of 19)

>This chapter introduces the most fearsome thing to fly the skies since, well, since something really scary flew Introducing Shear Luna-C!<

Anxiously flicking his weapons on and off, thoughts running through his head. So much salvage back there,
(Their lifeless forms = PARTS!)
He'd have to see if he could get his \"pick of the litter\" so to speak after this skirmish was done.

Weapons power to full, feeling good, healthy, even a little over confident, he could'nt help but stick out his torso plate and walk about beaming a winner's smile. Self-conscious, that Soundbyte would see his proud display he resumed his usual slouch and lumbered over to her.

Too bad she seemed connected to this Skyscythe guy, she's be a nice addition to my.. She turned to look at him, interrupting his thoughts, asking him if all was in readiness. He nods, salutes, and looks to the entrance of the cave.

Only imagining all those parts falling from the skies for he, himself, to rebuild however he wanted, kept him at ease and ready for the Call To Arms.

He'd attend to other Agendas later

An unmentioned weakness of his, boredom had set in for Aluminus. This wait for the battle ahead however breif, was grinding into him.., So, scanning the terrain ahead of him seemed to kill and fill some of the time.
Spying Ironhide's kicked off head in the distance brought a mischeivous smirk to his features,

<Virrr-r-r-r.>
his shouldermounted hoisting hook flipped over to launch position.

<Chikt! Zwi>i>i>i>i>ing!>
Cast out and
<Thucklinkt!>

the hook was lodged in Ironhide's faceplate. Gleefully he reels it in.

<Zweeeeee...,>

Catching in his left hand, he rolls it over thoughtfully. Looking over at Soundbyte, who seems not to have noticed his little manuever, he ponders something that is dismissed as breifly as his attention span. Chuckling to himself he holds Ironhide's head at Optics-level and quietly utters
\"Alas, poor Ironhide, I knew him well...\" Smirking,
\"Well? Well, I hardly knew him, but who's keeping track?\" Looking over at Soundbyte, who seemed busy with her own inner thinkings, he inserts his hands into Ironhide's lifeless mouth. Moving the jaw up and down, he begins a poor imitation of the fallen Autobots speech patterns.
\"Hawh, A'hm ArhnHawhd!!
(Snickers.)
Looks lawhk Ah got a little a...Hayd o' mahself.\"
(More snickering, a twisted
smile.)
Hmmm., Wandering over to a nearby boulder, he wrests free a chunk off of it and stuffs it into the mouth.
\"Mmmm, Yummy, Ah Lawhk eating rocks, Yum-um-um-ummy!\"
(More laughter.)

Soundbyte looks in his direction, hard to read what she was thinking, but it looked like mild irritation. Smiling sheepishly, he looked away.

He sees a glint behind a rock.

Well now. A stasis pod!! The serial insignia looks familiar, dare he hope?

Why yes, it just might be..,

\"Suondbyte, ahem. Uhm, couldja come over here a cycle?\" Ramming Ironhide's head onto the point of his Towhook, and tapping the stasis pod's hull eagerly.
\"I can have this old gal up and running in two shakes of a lamb-bot's tail. I think she may come in handy. I've worked with her before.\"

Stepping aside to let Soundbyte get a look at the pod, he crosses his fingers out of veiw..,

Soundbyte examines the pod.

Soundbyte:\"Yep this is one of ours allright! Stand back while i \"Open her\" up\". Soundbyte unlocks the stasis pod and it begins glow a bright white light.

The light within the stasis pod dimmed. What's this? At first it seemed empty, but a closer look revealed a shining masterpiece to Aluminus' optics. Yes this was the one, without a doubt, it was her.
A faint musicbox melody rang faintly to his auditory receptors, entrancing him. <Zzzzurn-CHIKT!>????
a pressure around his throat! He looked and saw her sitting up in her pod. He waved Soundbyte away to signal all was under control, he'd handle this.., With her hand still entrapping him, she slowly got out of her pod and stood, lifting him off the ground a few inches. \"Identify!\" she growled.

\".....Aluminus..,\"

She scowled, evidently her optics had'nt adjusted yet, narrowing her gaze to two laser thin red gleams she then said, \"Password!\"
(Password? Password, what was the password? Why did she require a password?)

Looking at her fully, his memory returned, ah..,
\"Spectra.\"
She snapped to attention and dropped him at her feet, saluted, then relaxed. He stood up slowly.

She smiled sweetly. \"Oooh Aluminus! My Love, oh how I've missed you sooo..,\"
He could have almost blushed, then..
\"and what took you so long?\"

Aluminus: \"Heh, ahem, ah, Dear? This is Soundbyte. She's a friend.
Soundbyte, Meet Shear Luna-C.\"

Shear bowed politely, and offered her hand in greeting. Her prismatic coloration rendering her the color of the dust and stone around her. Aluminus smiled, this was going well, why the worry before? AK and SL listened as

Soundbyte breifed them on the mission,
Aluminus adding to and translating some. Shear was all attention. Finally Shear looks to them both, quickly draws both her Chopperblades, smiles ferally and asks \"So, when do I...we..begin?\" «
Aluminus beamed at Shear's enthusiasm.

He pondered and said \"Hmm, well, with Soundbyte's release, I'd send you up to go on and meet with Skyscythe, as he will be you superior in the Airdivision.
As your form dictates, so you shall serve.\"
Shear smiled \"Birds of a feather?\"
Aluminus nodded, \"Shall flock together.\" he completed.

She saluted, crouched, flipped backwards and in an instant assumed her Jetcopter mode. She rise up a bit and hovered above him.

Aluminus tapped his wrist to signal her to open her comm-channel.
[\"Kzzt! This will also be a good time to test out your longrange communication systems.\"]

Shear rose up further turned from him, then boosted up and away.
[\"Aluminus? What...or who am I looking for up there?\"]

[\"Skyscythe is a seeker, you'll know him by sight.\"]

She spotted a flying vehicle of some sort off to her left and veered 90 degrees towards it.
[\"Seeker?\"]

Aluminus shrugged.
[\"You see it? Him? Make your approach then once identity is confirmed, well, be a Dear and introduce yourself.\"]

[\"Dear? (Pfft!) Dear me again, I'll strafe you, AL.\"]

[\"Point, but please....stop calling me that\"]

[\"Affirmative...AL-Luminus Switching channels for the meet and greet.\"]

Aluminus grumbled, but could'nt help but to smile. He gives Soundbyte a thumbs-up (Y).

Meanwhile high above the ground, Shear drew closer to the aircraft in her sight.

[\"Attention, uh, ahem, Seeker Skyscythe, this is Decepticon Air recon and all around problem snuffer, Shear Luna-C reporting for duty.., I'm from one of your stasis pods and I'm battle ready! \"]

She awaits a response from the aircraft as she draws alongside it.

Aluminus glances at his hookmounted Ironhide head, perched on his shoulder. Fiddling with it's jaw mechanism. \"Thayt Shear galbot makes mawh circuits sizzle!\" Bits of rock fall from it's mouth...,

Skyscythe hears over his comm system Shear's call.

SKyscythe:\"Glad to have u on board Shear. Now where going for the element of suprise for when the attackers come. So i want u to follow me.\"

Skyscythe fliess foward some more while Shear matches him in speed. SKyscythe transforms mid-air and acknowledges Shear to do so as well.

Skyscythe:\"Ok see that Volcano over there above the ark. Well were gonna go hide there and when the others arrive were gonna blast out and start shooting.\"

Shear:\"All right then lets go.\"
They transform and go to the volcano's mouth. Getting there in less than 2 mins.

Shear lands silently and retracts her propellors to standbye blades, followed by Skyscythe.
Ignoring Skyscythe to run to Aluminus, she smiles \"I found him!\"

Aluminus, shares the smile,
\"So you did.\"

She looks over at Skyscythe
\"He seems like an okay Decepticon, he's our Leader?\"

AK: \"Nooo, a bot named Soultron is who's in charge. He's a flyer, like you and Skyscythe.\"

Shear frowned a little
\"All that airpower, you sure you're gonna be okay on the ground?\"

Aluminus winks
\"Suuure..I got Soundbyte here for backup.\"

SHear's face goes grim \"That's what I'm worried about. :|\"

\"It's nothing like that! She's an ally in battle, nothing more. You know I only have Optics for you ! My Dear I Prize all parts of you..,\" Shear stepped back

\"Nuh-uh, you aint using me for surplus parts. If anyone's doing the scrapping it's ME!!\"

(Gulp.)
Shear walked towards where Skyscythe and Soundbyte stood. Aluminus stood back a bit, looked to the Ironhide head impaled on his hoisting hook.

\"Odd she still has'nt noticed you, my headstrong friend, hahaha.\" Yammering the jaw \"When're we gonna start bustin' Decepti-chops?\" Resuming a more serious mood he too joins the group in planning. «

As he walked up, both Skyscythe and Shear suddenly transformed and jettted up hill from their position. () Aluminus walks up, puzzled.
Suondbyte explains the attack plan both flyers are going to act upon. \"They plan to use the mouth of the Volcano as their personal flashpoint.\"

Aluminus shuddered and prayed Shear was over her Pyrophobia.

Even though the Incident that caused it gave her a resistance to further harm of that type, he still worried for her sanity, and for Skyscythe as well. He was gonna be around her when...if..if it happens. Assuming a good vantage point for his attack point, he opens a channel to Shear's receiver. He hears her singing! Oh no..,

[\"Shear! SHEAR! Listen to me, okay? You've got to ...try to...
(Try to what?)
try to transmute whatever anxiety you're feeling to focus, battlereadiness.\"]
He could almost feel an icy calmness come over her. Then, in a voice a sweet as honey, but laced with poison.

[\"Aluminusss, hahaha, as soon as this little battle starts, I'm bursting out guns blazing. I no longer Burn, I Rock and Roll!\"]

" "8";"3";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/4/2003 6:49 am
To: AluminusKann (3 of 19)

>This part seems to expand on character development I was trying and the beginnings of the chance for these two new members to really prove themselves.

Shear stood on the ledge, looking down at the red glow of the dormant volcano. She was hypnotized by the lazy red glow and the soothing rumble of this great earthen beast at her feet. Pity they had nothing quite like this on Cybertron.

She saw her commlite blink twice. She looked over at Skyscythe, who tapped his wrist rapidly. She nods.
[\"This is Aluminus Kann and Soundbyte, groundlevel. We're secure down here, mouth o' the cave, no signs of hostiles. How're you two holding up?\"]

Skyscythe nods, gives her the thumbs-up. SHe smiles
[\"Al, we're doing just fine weapons primed and charged? Same here, now with that out of the way, how about radiosilence? We can't stay concealed with you yammering away every four cycles!\"]

Switching off her radio she rests.

She sits.

She draws her knees close.

She folds her arms in front of her.

She rests her head on her arms, then she begins to sing, rocking slightly to the melody.

Aluminus leaned up against the cave wall. Rifle holstered, blade sheathed, hoistline and hook reeled in and headlaser convertting to Holoprojection.
Letting his thoughts wander, he found himself veiwing a piece of his past.

{\"Aluminus, I know you hate doing the menial stuff. It seems like chores running errands for the Autobots, but believe me, we're making a difference!\"}

{\"Moonshear, don't you get tired of following the lead of weakminded, doomed to be destroyed Autobot egotists? Can't you see for once, if there's anything to be done in this war that makes any real difference, it involves more than hiding and stockpiling?\"}

{\"Aluminus, by slowly preparing and readying matters, we act on and carry out a more perfected plan. This fuel we're loading up...what's that smell? It's....Aluminus Where are you going\"}

(He never looked back, he ran, he barely dodged the resulting blast furnace. Only when he stopped to rest he saw her. She. No, it could'nt be! It was.)

(Rising from the fires a crystal pheonix, catching the glow of the flames below her and glowing more intensely because of it, laughing maniacally. Then she landed, Aluminus ran up. Something in her from day had changed forever more. She fell into his arms.)

(He held her for a moment, feeling a sense of guilt. This once form of beauty now twisted and tragically sculpted to it's own natural design. Hearing an Autobot rescue team roll up, he threw her over his shoulder, transformed and rolled to his salvage yard.)

(He'd fix her, Yes, then he'd fix them all. Both the weak and overphilosophical Autobots and the rash and unorganizeded Decepticons, would feel their combined might.)

Aluminus switched off his holoprojector, and dropped his gaze to the floor, and sighed.

Life was too short to dwell on past mishaps, and who knew how short his or Shear's lives were going to be?

At that moment, both he and Shear looked up and thought the same thing.

{\"Let's just live to see tomorrow, then we'll think on today, along with all our other yesterdays, tomorrow.\"}

Soultron flew up from inside the volcano and perched himself upon the ledge. His gazed focused on the giant ship headed towards the surface. It appeared to be several kilometers from their position and coming in quickly. Soultron's communicator signaled as a small node erected from his arm.

\"Lord Soultron.\" Skyscythe's voice signaled through the communicator. \"Status?\"

\"Shockwave's warship has been neutralized per your request. How did you know they would come sir?\"

\"I will enlighten you some day. For now, prepare to draw their fire. They will launch a counter attack as soon as they detect us. I am picking up more signals here. I'm assuming your pods fell?\"

\"Yes sir.\"

\"Good, the odds will be in our favor. Attack on my signal.\"

\"Aye sir, Skyscythe out.\"

Just as the Decepticons began to mobilize another flurry of fire dug into the wreckage of the Decepticon flagship.

Skyscythe, Soundbyte, Aluminus and Shear began engaging the Decepticons forces in hit and run tactics in attempt to draw the main forces away from Shockwave. \"Decepticons! Take cover, we have lost the advantage! Regroup!\" Shockwave and a contingency of Decepticons fled the wreckage as Skyscythe dropped several cluster bombs on the battered hull.

*******
Soultron found himself surrounded by a void.
Use it
Soultron looked at the matrix.
We are one now.
\"Yes, we are Soultron&hellip;\"
Show them Pain
**********

Aluminus' mind raced. Shear and Skyscythe had taken flight from the mouth of the volcano, transformed and were off. Aluminus and Soundbyte nodded and acted upon their agreed-upon plan.

A Seeker flew overhead, firing wildly, causing the ground around them to explode. Soundbyte transformed and signalled rapidly for Aluminus to be at ready.
She let loose a terrific blast of sonic energy which almost shook Aluminus from his stance.

He shook off the effects and launched his hoistingline. The hook, tipped with Ironhide's head seemed to have startled the Decepticon in midair as surely as the sound had stunned him!

Ensnaring the stunned Decepticon, he brutally tugged it to the ground. Snarling, he drew his photon blade and charged at the fallen robot. It gasped and rolled out of his swinging arc, suffering only an external nick that surprised more than harmed it.

\"Slag it, hold still and Die! Die with some honor, you miserable pile of parts!\"

He swung again, decapitating it. No time to revel in this small victory. There was more of this battle to be fought if they ever expected a favorable outcome.

Shear looped, dove, flipped, swirled practically danced around the incoming firepower from the Decepticon pursuing her. Skyscythe seemed busy with his own opponent.

She swooped up, blocking her adversary's veiw of the sun, eclipsing and mirroring it. Seeming as bright as it to his sensors, he never saw her transform and drop on him, locking her arm around his nosecone. With her other arm, she spun her chopperblades, and lowered them, sawing off one wing. She let him go to crash, blew a kiss, then transformed and flew off to pepper the air in front of her with a wide arc of turbine-shuriken charges. Hopefully she'd have a few more kills from this manuever.

Skyscythe was doing well. His experience in the field stood him in good stead. He utilized every method he'd learned and a few made up \"on the fly\".
One question seemed to pull at him though.
\"How long can we keep this up?\"

On the ground level, Aluminus had repeated the same trick with varying degrees of success, using Soundbyte's Sonic Booms to down opponents while he savaged their metal frames with Blade, Gun, Headlaser, Fists and Feet, but he was tiring.

He spied another stunned Decepticon, transformed and trying to stand.

Aluminus transformed, drove, charged and rammed him off his feet, then assumed robot form and pounced him!

This robot put up more of a fight, either that or Aluminus' exhaustion was catching up to him. He caught a fist to his face, knocking him off the enemy. Sitting up suddenly, he fired both his headmounted laser and rifle, holing the Decepticon straight through in the head and chest. He slipped behind a rock face to rest up a bit, this was the most strenuous workout he'd had in Eons.

\"Ah, for the days of slow, subtle and stressfree sabotage..,\"

Skyscythe was being chased by 2 Seeker jets. He slowed just a touch so the jets could think thye had him.
He transformed mid-air.

He turned slowly to attack. The 2 jets shot at him. He let his midsection take the brunt, as he had increased his shielding in that section.

While the seekers reloaded. Skyscythe crossed his arms and grapped at his wingtips.

He pulled metal shards he kept three and threw them at the seekers as he flew thru the middle of the 2.
He stopped with his back to the seekers. He clicked his fingers and the shards began to blow up within their casing. They fell to awaiting Aluminus.

Skyscythe:\"Aluminus I have 2 packages for ya!\"

Meanwhile...............
Soundbyte began pressing dials on her arm. The virus within Teletran One begin to do its work. At the Ark....................

Teletrans Viewscreen.
\"Main Guns, and Torpedo Launchers 2 Mins to Power Up\"

Aluminus having rested a nanocycle, refreshed and ready to kick taligate appeared from behind a rockpile.

\"Howdy Bots! Why dont you relax and stay awhile?\" He fired his headlaser at, one holing it's torso, it fired, grazing his shoulder armor. He stumbled back. It fell over lifeless, smoking from it's new but totally fatal ventilation duct, installed courtesy of Aluminus.

She scanned the ground action.

Aluminus is hit!! She frantically bore down on the scene below her. She transformed and dropped like a spider behind a Decepticon, whipdrew her chopperblade and rammed it right through the enemybot's back until the bladetip erupted out it's chestplate!

She snarled and fired a few energy shuriken into it's prone form then glared at Aluminus! :|
\"You'd better sharpen up and get your core processor battle-prepped! I won't be here to save your metal hide next time you slip up!\" With that harsh remark, she flew up and rejoined Skyscythe in taking out airborne opposition.

Aluminus smiled
{She's beautiful when she's enraged. She's loving this battle, as an Autobot she never lived for this amount of violence. Now she drinks it in as if it were the spilled fuel of her enemies intoxicating her.}

Aluminus frowned

{Still, when all the fighting is done, assuming we survive this will there be much left to her but the anger?}

{and how long will it be...before she remembers what forces recreated her? Will she then know the true architect of her fatal design?}

Aluminus hoped not.

He turned his worries over to secondary mental proccesses and signalled Soundbyte to let loose another sonic attack and readied his hoisting hook to reel in another winner..,

Aluminus begins to hear a rumble coming from the mountain.

Soundbyte:\"That the arks weapons shooting thru the mountain rock. I put a virus into the weapons systems to shoot everyone except us!\"

>Note: Tiretrack was a robot who joined the group later, she's a minibot that turns into a little sports car, alot like CLiffjumper.
SHe's partnered with a Larger robot named Outflyer, who turns into large fighter plane.<

ALuminus on his commlink:\"Tiretrack?, Shear and Skyscythe if ur in the air, we got some backup from the ark Courtesy of Soundbyte.\" The rumble gets louder and louder until the weapons break through and start to shoot Decepticons.
Missiles and Lassers create a criss cross maze in the air. At Teletran.........

Weapons Energy Dipleted in Ten Mins. Send Explorer for forms of energy. The Explorer sattelite goes out and looks for energy to use. He returns back quickly.

Teletrans View Screen.....
\"NEW ENERGY FOUND\"

\"ENERGY DEPLETION IN 8 MINS\"

\"BEGIN ABSORBTION OF VOLCANIC ENERGY
AFTER DEPLETION OF CURRENT ENERGY\"

Aluminus looked up at the sky ablaze with Teletran's ship gun's firings. \"Shear, Even though Teletran's guns were told not to shoots us, think you'd better fly on down here so as notto get hit!\" Shear swooped and did an elegant ramped up U-turn in the air.

\"Aaawh hahahaha, I'm having fun! I dont even have to fire at them anymore, just lead them to their deaths!\" Aluminus shrugged
{Okay have it your way..,}
waited till she was within range and fired his hoisting hook up and caught her by one of her struts and began to tow her down.

\"Shear, this is for your own safety.\"

\"Wha-WhY ARE YOU DOING THAT? STOP IT!!!\" She abruptly stopped her descent and rose up. Aluminus' feet lost contact with the ground!

\"Oooh noooo!!!!!\"
Now he finds himself suspended 100's of feet in the air, being skyswung by a reckless helicopter!

He curled up into a ball, drawing all his limbs together. Then Shear proceeded to use him as a wrecking ball, knocking down airborne Decepticons left and right.

A good idea, but after awhile this is gonna start to really hurt....

Shear swooped up, using Aluminus' curled up form as a large airborne fist for an uppercut that knocked two seeker's wings off, they frantically transformed and flew in robot form at them. Aluminus' peered from between his shielding arms and saw them in pursuit.

\"Shear? You can drop me off here. I think I can catch a ride.\"
\"You sure?\"
\"Ye__\"

Shear released his hook before he could finish saying. Now he fell. This has to be accurate or not at all. This had to be well done or he was finished. This had to be....

<KLANK!>

..the weirdest manuever he' ever attempted, suddenly sitting astride a confused but still flying seekerjet! He wound his hoisting line tightly around it while it struggled to shake him off. Aluminus then peeled back a panel behind teh cockpit and began pulling wires out.

Suddenly the jet lost power!! NOw he had to act fast, faster than the ground coming up at them. he replugged in two wires, only two and twisted the other two into braided levers to toggle relays. Yessssss.....,

Now he had himself a flying vehicle!!

A Non-transforming totally manueverable and armed, but cussing him out something fierce flying platform.

" "8";"4";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/4/2003 7:22 am
To: AluminusKann (4 of 19)

>Here we're adding a new member to our merry little band, a bot like none other. something to spice up the battle herein significantly!<

Mastering the controls for his new mode of travel was way easier than he thought, it was the griping the captured seeker was emitting that was the downside.
\"You wont get away with this.\"

Aluminus groaned elaborately and said
\"Get some new material, willya?\"

\"I'm serious, Cretin! Once Shockwave..\"

\"Once what? Huh I cant hear you, you're breaking up.\"

Aluminus recklessly shook the captured jet in midair, scaring it needlessly.

\"Wha? What in slag are you doing?\"

Laughing mischeivously, he waved at Shear.

She flew alongside. \"Aluminus, who's your friend?\"

\"I never got his name. Say, what IS your name?\"

\"...updraft..,\"

\"Up what? hahaha What a silly name! Okay Updraft, we're gonna land, ready?\"

\"??\"

Aluminus toggled his handmade wing-relays to force the jet into a steep decline to the earth below. Shear followed. \"Hahahaha, wheeee!!\"

The Seeker screamed in fear as suddenly, Aluminus kicked off the plumetting jet and leaped up to catch Shear's struts.
<Klank>
safe he hung like a spider, grinning evilly.
Shear slowed and descended.

Transforming, she let Aluminus take a short drop to the ground and landed facing away from him. She looked up and saw decreasing aerial activity. It was entrancing, all that firepower above her. Powerful, beautiful..,

{I shall remake you, more powerful and beautiful than ever..,}

She shook her head, were her auditories malfunctioning? Aluminus walked over to the smashed up remnants of his borrowed and wrecked transportation. Now he was in robot mode and groaning , sparking and sizzling..,

\"Updraft? Can you hear me? Good I'll just assume you can.\" Aluminus grabbed the weakened robot by the faceplate and said \"I'm gonna make the deal of your lifetime, cause if you refuse, you die!\"

Behind him, Shear glared at the fallen warrior, and winked. Her cackling haunted and maddened the captor, who put his hands to his coreprocessors and screamed silently..,

A Nightmare was unfolding..,

>At this point, Soultron had beaten the stuffing righ out of Shockwave, the killer of his lover, Nocturna, back on Cybertron, but he's still feeling unsettled, is it all that anger within? The matrix's influence? Or my bad narrating?<

Soultron stood above the fluid stained rocks and marveled at the remains of his former commander. Shockwave's body had become, for the brief time in its existence, the vessel by which he had channeled hatred unlike any he had felt before.

However, even though Shockwave's spark had long since fled from this plane of existence, Soultron's fury was still not satisfied.
I will destroy them all…
Two explosions rocked Soultron forward causing him to tumble among the rocks. Shootdown and Sonicboom landed in front of him. \"Well, well, the great Soultron…\" Shootdown smirked as he raised his weapons.

\"And now its time to introduce him to the new order.\" Sonicboom stated as he doused Soultron with laser fire.
\"Seekers! Terminate him!\"

A small squadron of seekers flew overhead and fired into Soultron's chest. The mighty Decepticon buckled as the shots pierced his chest. Smoke escaped through his mouth as his body blackened and hit the ground.

\"So much for Soultron. Now we take care of the others.\" The group took to the sky and headed towards Soultron's companions. «

Updraft could have sobbed and teared up if he had the parts to. The Ugly Green/Gray/Black TruckBot and his Helicopterring Whacked-out Fembot counterpart were either going to break him or break him apart. What was there he could really do? He agreed to his terms, only hoping what came afterwards was'nt worse than death itself.

He (Zaapppt) was forcefully powered down.

Flashes, Glimpses, Memories, old, new, then, now, where, when..., An image flared up in his core processor, a black space that shone like Obsidian in a dark cave.

\"Uuupdraafft, Awaken, hahaha..,\"
The Obsidian wall became a rectangle, a visor, on a sneering face. \"...I got plans for you. One, I am your Master. Two, you shall serve who I serve. Three, you are now remade, any and all parts of Updraft and the bot he was are.. NO MORE!! hahaha.\"

Aluminus threw Updraft over his shoulder and ran to cover. Shear laid out some cover fire courtesty of her Energy charged Turbine Shuriken.

\"Aluminus!! We got more approaching hostiles!\"

\"Grrr.. 'Bots or 'Cons??\"

\"Not sure, actually hahahaha depends on which way you're facing! hahaa\"

She fired off more rounds. Aluminus shook his head, either she was'nt making much sense or they were in a bit of a pickle.

\"Well Shear, let's get us positioned for defense. I'll call up Soultron and Skyscythe, Soundbyte anyone. and You? Rename this sorry bucket of bolts.\"
He dropped Updraft in the ground unceremoniously.
[KLANG!]
\"He's gonna be our firstborn, hahahahahaaaa.\"

Shear kneeled down and caressed the faceplate of the unconscious Seeker. They were going to rebuild him, make him more...powerful, beautiful..like a....,

\"TEMPEST!\"

Updraft's/Tempest's optics flickered to life. He slowly stood up, growling like beast, hungry for battle.

\"Skyscythe Here, to everyone on our side.
Soultron is down, i don't know how bad he his, but he has destroyed Shockwave. All that left are his flunkies the Seekers.\"

\"Shear I want you to join me in the sky. We can take these seekers head on.\"

\"Soundbyte, use you connection to the virus you put in Teletran to see if you can fine tune The Ark weaponary system to calibrate for the seekers speed. Aluminus You cover for her while she does that.\"

\"NOW TEAM GO!\"
Skyscythe blasts off to face the seekers. He transforms into jet mode and supercharges his front nose cone. He pummels throught 2 seekers Destroying them.
The other seekers Gather around.

Skyscythe begins to insult them so that will fight with anger and irrationally.

\"You are no match for me. I am above you seekers. I AM A SEEKER ELITE!\"
Shootdown and Sonicboom, You two are the weakest, you could fight Lord Soultron yourself, but you had to get your lackeys here to do it for you.\" Skyscythe waits for the first move and awaits Shear's Arrival.

Shootdown and Sonicboom hover in front of Skyscythe.

\"My my, such strong words from a seeker elite…\"
Shootdown raised his fists. \"But your lord Soultron is dead and you will now join him.\" A flurry of flames spewed forth from Shootdown's fists. \"Die!\"

Skyscythe: \"Such a predictable response.\"

Skyscythe Raises his shields to their fullest and forms an invisible barrier in front of him.
The flames approach and hit the barrier and stop there.

Skyscythe:\"I think its my turn to show you what it Means to be a seeker.\"

Shear shrieked gle

" "8";"5";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/4/2003 7:58 am
To: AluminusKann (5 of 19)

>ANd the battle progresses with a surprise cliffhanger at the end of this chapter that you wont beLIEVE!<

SKyscythe Holds his shields up as he prepares for the assault. The first missiles bombared his shields.
They injure him in his leg.
\"These shields aren't gonna hold.\"

Skyscythe flies off towards the nearest seekers. He puts all his enrgy into his speed. He Flies behind two seekers as the Missiles bombared the seekers.
A thought hit. I can use my EMP Shot. It will drain my gun, but it will have to do.

SKyscythe:\"A Highly endangering move from you SHootdown, thtas something i would have done. But u will have to do better than that to defeat me. And what are you doing Sonicboom. Are you his Silent Advisor? Eat This.\"

Skyscythe raises his sword and turns it. he locks in the handle on his forearm. He gets his EMP gun out and fires some shots in the direction of Rage and the others.

He then rushes forward with the sword in his arm, to do a slash attack. «

>At this time Tiretrack and Outflyer are evacuating the wreckage and go to join up with Soultron;s forces.<

Shootdown dodged the incoming emp pulse and dove towards his aggressor. Snonicboom moved away from the other pulses as they hit the remaining seekers.
\"Silence is a quality you'll soon possess..\"

Sonicboom flew up behind Skyscythe as he charged towards Shootdown. \"Bid my regards to Primus.\" Sonicboom took aim and was about to end the existence of the renegade seeker when something rammed him in the back. \"Grrarararah!\"
\"Arrrgh!\" sonicboom reeled in pain as he spiraled towards the ground.

Skyscythe rushed forward as well blade raised in a striking and defensive mode.

Skyscythe and Shootdown began to get closer and closer. If one of the did not stop soon they were going to ram into each other. It was a contest of strength, courage and willpower

Taking advantage of stunned prey ensures the survival of most predators, and Shear wasnt one to let opportunity knock and run. After seeing Tempest ran and transform to savagely beat the backplates off the Seeker he scented earlier. She transformed, drew her chopperblade/swords and hovered beneath to catch the rapidly descending Seeker in a whirling blur of dismemberment.

Slag, Sonicboom stopped in midair! Flying up she saw her ever so narrow window of attack closing as he regained his senses.

\"Seeker Drone! Lowly slave to the fallen Shockwave! Surrender to the forces of Soultron or taste the inferno of my righteous fury!!\" Sonicboom looked at her and smiled.

\"HaAaAaRrrGgh!!\"

\"Tempest, stand down. Await my command to strike.\"

Tempest nods and transforms to hover near Sonicboom, vaguely remembering him from somewhere. Tempest starts to smile for who knows what reason. He/it growls and points to SOnicboom's face then his own.

Shear started to worry, how much would/could he remember of his past? d**n, was'nt Aluminus some kinda hotshot programmer? This slapdash scrapmech he'd reformatted was doing REAL good right about now. She didnt know who to shoot first.

\"TEMPEST! RESTRAIN HIM! Hold him still for me! I'm gonna blow out his C.P.U.! No, of course I wont hit you. I'm a very good aim, now do as I say!\"
Tempest began to comply.

Shear took aim.

Aluminus busied himself on the ground front. A Seeker strafed his position! HE had to smile, this was going to be fun. Putting aside thoughts of Shear and her new, but possibly unstable counterpart, he ran out and transformed.

\"TIME TO TASTE DESTRUCTION, FLYBOT!\"

\"You think!!\"

It swooped again, lower this time.
This tiem around it wound up in a near collision with a large red and white Aerospace Jet!

\"What the??\"

\"<Cease all hostilities!>\"

\"Identify yourself or be blown to shrapnel!\"

Aluminus wasnt feeling particularly creative at this point. It was enough work coming up with a giant hologram of a Seeker, Mega Class. Now he had to name it? To the pits with that. He emerged from hiding, firing every weapon on his frame. He had to keep this bot away from Sondbyte.

Headmounted laser scored a shot, holing it's chest and his rifle fired the seeker's head to glowing bits.
(What's this?)
Sensors were picking up more mechanized activity off in the distance! It corresponded to neither Decepticon nor Autobot energon signatures! Did the Natives of this dirtball possess robots and other mechanized weaponry of their own??

\"Soundbyte, suggest evasive and elusive positioning, we may have party-crashers! Skyscythe, uhm, at your earliest convenience, tell me what you can see from up there. I'm picking up numerous approach signals. Shear? Let Tempest\"~{BOOM!}

Aluminus fell, stunned and missing an arm...,

Soundbyte turned to look at Aluminus.

Soundbyte:\"I'll be with you in a sec Aluminus, let me just finishing a bit mor tweaking to my virus......and done.\"

The Weapons of the ark now fire more accurately at their designated targets, missing Soultron's team.

Soundbyte goes over to Aluminus. She gets down and picks up the rest of his arm.
Shots begin to fire in their direction from the new sources of destruction and the seekers above.
Soundbyte puts her palms in the air and creates a sound shield around her and aluminus.

Soundbyte:\"there that will help until i get u fixed up. This won't take long to fix.\"

\"Sometimes I feel like letting go&hellip;\"
\"And if you did?\"
\"I feel helpless.\"
\"You have the strength within you. You have to fight it.\"
Soultron found himself floating in an abyss, cold and alone. His metal structure reflected decay and age as he tumbled aimlessly in the darkness.

\"All of this pain. I want it to end. Optimus&hellip;\" Suddenly a chill rushed over him as the presence of Optimus faded and something more sinister took its place.

\"It will never end Soultron, your pain must be satisfied. And so must mine.\"

His body arched as the electro-synthesis began to bring life throughout the blackened metal.

Tiretrack stood a short distance away watching the battle in awe and terror as the alien forces engaged her friends. Without Soultron this endeavor was hopeless. They would soon be defeated by the Decepticons and returned to the smelting pools on Cybertron. \"Do not fear Tiretrack. Our time is here.\"

Tiretrack looked up at the strange figure that stood next to her. \"Who&hellip;\" She started to ask, but her auditory system fell silent. She could only watch as Soultron glared up at the burning sky. \"And their time is over.\"
>During all this time Soultron restores and finds the fatally wounded body of a smaller autobot named Fender, and using the power of the new Dark Matrix within him heals her wounds, but forever damns her to a path of darkness by warping the fabric of her soul.<

As Shootdown spiraled towards Skyscythe, he ignited his flame cannons allowing his outer structure to be covered in an intense heat. \"Burn in the inferno traitor!\" Flames spewed forth from Shootdown as he became terrifying weapon of fire.

Sonicboom shook his head in disbelief. \"You'll be the death of us all Shootdown&hellip;\" He looked back at the natives attacking the rest of Soultron's forces.

\"Interesting. They may finish the job for us.\" He noticed one of the female Decepticons taking aim at him. \"And what do you think you're doing?\"
Instantly Sonicboom took position close to Shear. \"Here is some advice, aim only at what you can hit.\" Sonicboom raised his weapon upon Shear and fired.

Soultron and Outflyer flew overhead of the Ark's gravesite, quickly discovering the band of autobots making their way to the entrance of the Ark.

\"The fools, what do they hope to find in there?\" Soultron dove down towards the warriors and landed on the outer hull of the Ark. The Autobots stopped dead in their tracks. Fear. Pain. Despair. All of these emotions filled them as they saw the figure of a Transformer they had hoped they'd never see again.

\"Greetings Autobots, I am Soultron and I believe I have something you lost.\"
Anger shot through them all as he held out the body of Fender.

It took a nanosecond for Aftershock to transform and Tekbat and Xcessor to pull their weapons, all of them targeting Soultron and Outflyer.

Headrush could only stand there, helplessly, and stare at the broken and limp body of Fender. She didn't seem as damaged as she had before, but her metal casing was still cracked and broken in places. Her optics were gray...lifeless aside from the occasional glimmer.

Aftershock's turret targeted Soultron and the Seeker, his missiles ready to fire. \"Give the word, Headrush, and--\"

\"Hold your fire.\"

Tekbat was the first to dispute. \"I didn't just hear that. Headrush, they've got Fender!\" He pleaded.

\"I know, and she'll be all over the cavern in pieces if we attack.\" Headrush warned.

He stopped to calm his voice
- filled with pain and anger
- and motioned his hand down.
\"Hold your fire and lower your weapons.\"
His Autobots complied, and he turned back to Soultron with a sigh. \"What do you want from us?\"

Soultron could not help but smile upon the helpless Autobots. They outnumbered him and could easily overpower him with numbers alone, but because of an inherent flaw within all Transformers of their kind he had the advantage. They were weak and having such a deficiency meant Soultron had the advantage, no matter what.

\"Come now, I am not here to obliterate the last of your kind. On the contrary, your precious Autobot is alive because of me. Your friend Fender, will recover after more repairs are made to her, but her life signs are stable. Why do I come here to aid you? It is an unavoidable circumstance given the choices we have made. I stand against the Decepticon army and though I show no favoritism to the Autobot cause, I would be willing to extend a temporary cease in hostilities until our current situation is resolved. In other words, I do not wish to fight two wars now and it would be in your benefit to comply. However there is a condition to this proposal dear friends. I ask that you aid me in defeating the remnants of Shockwave's forces and I will allow you to reclaim Fender and repair Manticore without interference.\" Soultron gazed upon the shattered Autobot leader.

\"Such a pity Manticore, I had hoped to reunite with you on more even terms. So what will it be Autobots? Accept my offer or fight the final battle of your existence here in this mountain. The choice is yours.\" «

\"You don't give us much of a choice.\" Hot Rod said dispairingly. Headrush nodded. While the young bot was rash and reckless at times, he knew when a situation called to make the most undesirable choice. He might make a fine leader one day, he thought. Headrush shook these thoughts away, there was no time for reflection or consideration. There was a battle to be won, and he needed to secure the safety of his troops. And the Ark.
\"Its agreed. Now...let us do what we need to do.\" He said with a glare to Soultron. He outstretched his arms to receive Nova. \"...Before we change our minds.\"

" "9";"1";"Aqrn & I have been working around here, Aqrn has been porting some messages and I have been working on the backend. Below are some changes I/we have made please comment as necessary here.

" "8";"6";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/5/2003 5:26 am
To: AluminusKann (7 of 19) (6 of 19 was duplicate post)

>Wow what a chapter, the battle wraps up, an unlikely alliance is formed and a new battle approaches that is sure to rock botes of this confrontation!<

Skyscythe Flew towards the uncoming Skootdown.
\"Prepare to taste steel.\"
Skyscythe threw his wingtips shards at Shootdown, targeting his flame cannons, and his upper body.
The flames began to subside.

Shootdown and Skyscythe grapple in midair, Shootdown chokes on Skyscythe, bty Sky breaks free and reverses the hold til both are on a fatal deathlock.
They each try to push each other using their jets at maximum speed.

Skyscythe:\"....The harder...... ->UMPH<- ....I Push... ->URN<- .....Against
You..... ->MMP<- ....The Harder.... ->RNMP<- ...You Push?\"

\"Precisely. Surrender Now before you hurt yourself.\"

\"Nope\"

\"What the?...\"

\"All i've done is use your own momentum against you by changing directions.\"

Skyscythe and SHootdown begin to spiral down in the opposite direction towards the ground, near the ark's entrance.

Skyscthe\"Its something i call \"Physics\".\"

They reach about 2o feet off the ground.

Skyscythe:\"What i'm doing now as we head for the ground below...?, Its
called \"Praying\".\"

They both hit the ground real hard in front of the arks entrance, causing a shockwave.<no pun intended<

>Okay for the sake of space, Soultron grants the Autobots entrance into the crashed ark to repair themselves for the battle to comever the architect own fate, he seems callous in his regard of the Autobots shock and horror at the thrashed innards of the legendary vessel and it's crew. Headrush struggles against his own revulsion and hatred of Soultron, meanwhile keeping his own tops from reckless action against teh mysterious decepticon they had alll thought dead.<<

Shear's eyes flashed like twin suns. A powering up noise filled her ears as her frame rattled with potential violence.
\"Hit? HIT!?! Aim, Intend, HIT, DEST-R-R-R-R-ROY!!!\"

Sonicboom paused, unconsciously drawing away. He caught himself withdrawing and corrected this not wanting to seem weak in front of this female Decepticon.

Shear stood still in air, then drew her chopperblades. She growled like a hungry lioness then pounced him, blades spinning at their fastest. She then activated her turbine shuriken lanchers and streaked at him, optics full of promise of destruction and the assurance that she did indeed plan to end this.

\"KILL!! Wait? Kill.., Yessss, Why KILL, when I can take my time, DESTROYING YOU? After all, what fun is a dead target? RIGHT, TEMPEST?\"

A whirring crunching noise that signalled Tempest's transformation sounded behind Sonicboom. He too charged, firing one armbased weaopn feebly, maybe just out of habit, mainly swinging his arms about one hand in a fist the other clawlike.
\"RrRrROoOoOAAAaaAaRrRrGggHH!!\"

Outflyer left the Ark in search of the unexpected disturbance. With the auto defenses functioning at maximum power due to Soundbyte's programming no enemy forces should have been able to approach. However, the Autobots managed to get through, therefore something else might have. The molten pools around the Ark were now exposed to the battle worn surrounding and thus his initial search consisted of checking for smoldering remains.

\"I don't like this. Too many surprises around here. First the natives interfere and now Autobots. Well if I find anymore, they'll have to recon with the mighty Outflyer.\"
>Reminder: The humans have discovered the strange robots battling and may interfere with us?<

He amused himself allowed as he carefully navigated the treacherous pitfalls. He neared what was once the burrowed entrance to the mountain and there he saw a few nanokliks away the bodies of Skyscythe and Shootdown. Skyscythe seemed functional as he attempted to rise from the ground. Shootdown appeared otherwise.

Outflyer ran over to his commander. \"Sky, are you okay?\"

A familiar shadow reached over and blanketed both Skyscythe and OUtflyer who both turned to view the source.

\"So, here converge the traitors. Take me to Soultron or I'll destroy you both.\" Darkwind raised one weapon at them while his other hand clutched his wound.

Sonicboom was surrounded. On either side destruction was eminent and these opponents were a few control cards short of a full mainframe. The Tempest creature could be dealt with easily, but the female Decepticon worried him. There was not much time to act. \"I give you a choice Decepticon female, fight me or save your friend.\"

With that, Sonicboom launched a magnetic bomb towards Tempest and flew off into the sky.

Soultron remained in the corner of the control room, silent and unmoved as the work continued on Manticore.
\"How much longer Autobots? Time is of the essence.\"

Shear's charge missed it's mark, slag, must be getting old. She pulled up and powdered Sonicboom's retreat with energy shurikens. Problem with scattershot, though devastating at close range, it was decreased to nil against a retreating target.

[KLANK!]

\"Tempest, drop that now!! It isnt a toy!\"
Tempest had caught a magnetic explosive of some sort! Eying the emblem on the nosecone of it, she deduced it was a parting gift from Sonicboom. Well, he's earned the name, carrying around munitions like that on him. Tempest was about to be renamed Falling-Chunks-Of-Stupid if he didnt quit drooling over his new toy. Shear thought and acted quickly.

Using the bottom of his cupped hand holding the bomb to cushion it from accidentally exploding, she kicked it up into the air and fired it to bits over their heads. Tempest looked up dreamily then back to her puzzled as a puppy as to what and why she did that. Shear pointed to him, made the shape of the bomb with her hands, then spread her arms out wide and whispered: \"Boom!\"
Tempest's jaw almost dropped completely off in shock and awe. Aluminus would have to do some more work on that, Tempest did need a new face.
\"GrRrAaAH\"
Shear nodded assuming he was attemping to ask if she was telling the truth.
Now, to fly after Sonicboom and let Tempest repay him for his generous gift of attempted sparkextinguishment? Or radio Skyscythe for updates and new orders? Welll, there were two of them werent there?

\"Tempest? The badbot who tried to kibble you is getting away, and he's making fun of you. Yeah, that's right! He's calling you a singlecircuit arcwelder (or something) GO GET HIM! Rip him apart, tear him limb from limb and if you bring back any parts of him, \"Daddybot\" can make you all better!\"

Tempest grinded and squeeked his flaking frame back into a semblance of a jetform and streaked away nearly blasting Shear with his overenthusiastic take-off.

\"Primus, was I ever that young and stupid?\" Shear paused, a musicbox melody tingling at the edges of her auditory perception.
Was she ever..,
Was she..,
When?
Where?
Why couldnt she remember things?
AND WHERE WAS THAT BLASTED MUSIC COMING FROM??
She transformed, opened a channel to Skyscythe and flew back down to the ark.
\"Tempest will be okay, he can handle Sonicboom, or not. But me? I dunno. I'm talking to myself. That's not a good sign. No it isnt. Are ya sure? Oooh yeah.\"

Aluminus' optics flickered then came fully online.
Where was he?
oh.
Battle, Decepticons, Shear, Tempest, Skyscythe, Soundbyte, Soultron and him, laying flat and helpless as a newbot, minus an...Arm?
Wait it appears to be reattached!
He sat up quickly and saw Soundbyte. He opened his mouth to ask her if he missed anything when a faint tingling ringling melody played at the limits of his consciousness.

Oooh yeah. There's trouble brewing, but not with the Decepticons. Trouble with a capital \"S\"..,

Skyscythe:\"Ok, just let Outflyer help get me up and we will take you to him.\"

Outflyer went over to Skyscythe, who winked at him and nodded towards his commlink. The Link was open to Shear and she could hear everything. Outflyer got what Skyscythe was on about and began to stall Darkwind.
\"I don't think there is a need to be hostile Darkwind. Lord Soultron was shot down, hes probably dead.\"

Darkwind shot at the ground in front of the two bots.
\"Stop stalling or i'll rip out your optics!\"

Skyscythe thought to himself. Shear i hope you can hear this.

SHear could indeed hear everything, loud and clear. Skyscythe and some other 'Con not known to her were facing off against a rather banged up sounding Decepticon named Darkwind. She sooo looked forward to meeting him.

Tempest exhilerated in the wind rushing by and kind of thru his swisscheesed frame. He was going for Sonicboom and thoughts of his own demise possible were not even evident, after all, he no longer seemed to be a thinking creature. More a force of nature, a force catching up on Sonicboom.
\"GrRrRAAAaRRrhH!!\"

Aluminus shoved Soundbyte away so He could stand up. His congenial mood mode was quite disengaged. He wanted Shear down with him and sedated. That slight psychic bond they shared notified him of a potential risk more liable and dangerous than Tempest could ever pose. He wanted those parts from within the Ark. Those lovely Autobot and Decepticon partsssss.., parts He could work with, for his own ends of course.

Shear came within sensor range and cut sound to the engines, slowing herself a tad, but decreasing the risk of ruining that delightful element of surprise.

('Scythe dont look up at me, dont give me away, I'm on this..,)

Drawing in closer, she spied the wound on the Enemy bot, oooh easy pickin's. She swooped up a bit, cut engine power and dropped like a rock, transforming in freefall. She drew both sets of chopperblades, the liftblade and shorter turnblade and came down upon Darkwind like a lightning bolt, but feetfirst. Primus, if she misses this maneuver she'll be one painful and embarassed pile of prizmatic parts. Here goes..,>>>>>>>>>>>{KRANKSHHKLANGLESSH!}
Tempest rammed into Sonicboom's back savagely, then grabbed and shook the poor stunned Decepticon, roaring loud enough to blow auditory fuses. He grabbed Sonicboom's head and squeezed, looking him directly in the optics and snarling, his face an ugly mask of anger and dementia. It was time for this Decepticon to die. All of a sudden his arms clamped onto Sonicboom in a vicelike grip. An odd beeping noise came from within his frame. Tempest was sure he was'nt doing this. WHat was going on?
\"HRRrR?\"

Then a memory surfaced, he saw Aluminus' face squared in his optics and Aluminus leered at him, making him feel like a mere object.

{Another thing, \"Tempest\", you're only usefullness to us is killing Decepticons, got it? At least two, one other and well, yourself. Dont take it too hard, you're serving a cause greater than yourself. But hey. Listen, if I find any pieces of you after this is all over with, I'll make you into something real neat-o, okay? Now go get 'em, Tiger. You're equipped with a tension bomb that will wrap all your limbs around your target once you're physical contact range, then countdown to explode. All you gotta do is get close..,get close..,get close..,}

Tempest shook his head from this flashback at the 10 second mark. Well, what fate had in store for this miserable creature once known as the Seeker, Updraft didnt exactly sit well with him, but what could he say? His last thought was on the beautiful face of Shear Luna-C and his heart determined sometime somelife, he'd see her again....,
Oblivion.

Aluminus heard a familiar audio signature rumble inaudibly from up in the sky, he smiled..,
\"Well, looks like I got one less mouth to feed!\"

Sonicboom's optical port registered the explosion from the tempest creature and just as the first internal proximity warning registered within his sub cranial cortex the initial shockwave shattered his skull.

Shear's hand tensed on the handles of her chopperbladeswords, but meeting the unwavering aim of this Decepticon appealed to her logic circuits to comply, for now..,

\"Alright, we'll do all the things that YOU want to do, Mr. Smarty-Bot.\"

Her legjoints sparked in agony. She had managed to land on her feet, but it hardly mattered, for now.., And where in the name of fair weather was Tempest? He was'nt responding to Commlink hailing scans.

\"Shear, you there?\"
Oh no, Aluminus. No doubt unaware of the situation.
\"Shear Luna-C, ahem this is Aluminus Kann, state your location.\" Oh good, code time.

\"Uhm permission to contact, Sir Seeker?\"
Without awaiting a reply from him, she answered Aluminus.
\"Yeah, Aluminus. (ss24-86 copperhead) I suggest giving yourself up. We're done for (crescent 99 d.o.a. spinal tap) and under watch now, (sparrowhawk basic and winged) and you?\"

\"Uhm yeah we're captured too, uhm, give your wardens my coordinates, we'll meet up to be one prisoner camp, after all, we do want to cooperate in every way and this will make it easier.\"

\"Alu? I can try, btw before I close, have you seen Tempest?\"

\"..,\"

\"Well?\"

\"....,\"

\"WHAT!?!\"

\"I'm afraid he's gone, Shear. He was destroyed. I couldnt stop him.\"

Shear slowly turned off her Comm and dropped to her knees, causing them to spark but not caring. It was then that beautiful melodious cacaphony erupted in her braincase. SHe saw flames, then a night sky, then a black visor staring down at her and a ringing melody cleared her mind and turned the world red and hated, she crossed her legs and rocked and hummed..,

Aluminus and Soundbyte discussed their next move. Aluminus suggested radio-ing Soultron. After all, when in doubt, ask the Leader!

Darkwind had turned for a moment to get Shear in his sights. And that moment was all that Skyscythe needed. He fell to the floor and shot at Darkwind's hand and legs. Skyscythe:\"Now 'flyer!!\"

Outflyer rammed into Darkwind and he fell to the floor. Skyscythe walked over and placed his foot on Darkwind's back. Darkwind lifted his head to look up, and was greeted with Skyscythe's face.

Skyscythe:\"My dear Darkwind, u should never leave ur back turned on a enemy.\"
Skyscythe shot 3 times into Darkwind's back.
Skyscythe:\"Never\"

SKyscythe looked to Outflyer and Shear. \"Shear you go check on Soundbyte......and......whats that noise?\" Skyscythe flew slightly above in the air to have a closer look. Shear and Outflyer followed suit.

Outflyer:\"In Primus name. Is that what i think it is.\"

Skyscythe:\"Yes its the Gestalts Bruticus, Predaking and Menasor. We must get word to Soultron quickly.
Shear you go get Soundbyte and Aluminus meet with us in the Ark. Come on lets go Outflyer.\"

(Pull yourself together gal..,)
Shear nodded shakily to Skyscythe and tapped her Commlink. She opened a channel.

\"A-aluminus? Situation corrected. Our captor sang us a little swan song and we went home...happy. (happy? riiight) Anyway, Skyscythe says he wants you and Soundbyte meeting us in the Ark pronto.\"

\"Aluminus receiving and agreeing. Sound got it too, we're on our way. Uhm, how you holding up?\"

\"Sky's a mess, but he's holding up. OUtflyer, you dont know him he's cool with us though, he's intact. I've got hinges squeeking, but I can walk okay. Mentally, though. Aluminus, gotta ask you about some...stuff..,\"

\"Uhm, can it wait? We're on our way. I'm trying to reach Soultron on the Comm. He's online still, but not answering.\"

\"Aluminus, we've got big probz, Gestaults arriving. Predaking, Menasor and one other, Bruticus.\"

\"I knew it, my vibrosensors picked up some supreme waves a few clicks ago. Okay listen up and good get inside the Ark, we'll meet you there. Aluminus out.\"

\"Shear loud and clear and also out.\"
Shear started after the others. This wasnt looking good. She hoped Soultron had an idea of what to do here.

Predaking was like a stacked menagerie from the Pit, Bruticus was a one bot, or five, army. Add Menasor to the equation you got serious troubles..,

Still, it might be fun taking on old Vortex sometime..,

" "8";"7";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/5/2003 6:11 am
To: AluminusKann (8 of 19)

>And so we prepare and repair

Aluminus, as a Salvage Technician of a sort, volunteered himself to begin repairs.
He approached Skyscthe and took quick stock of his condition. Within Nanoclicks, his processors ave him lists of repairs needed, shortcuts to do them with and suggested enhancements.., Enhacements be d**ned, he didnt have a whole lot of time. Plus, those Autobots standing around him were making him a bit jumpy.
Suppose one of them recognized him or Shear?

Headrush seemed focussed on Soultron, regarding him with the same look one would offer an unstable and dangerous predator. Soultron on the other hand looked calm as the eye of the storm, which was even more dangerous.
Leaving Skyscythe with a short list of repair plans he could self-administer, he strode over to Shear.
She was sitting, face grimaced and her kneejoints sparked and leaked hydraulic fluid. Still she was a trooper, though, a Soldier through and through. After all, had'nt he redesigned her to be the best she could be? She looked up at him and looked away quickly, what was she thinking? Aluminus kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his own and squeezed them reassuringly. His emotionless visored gaze was cold comfort, but his presence had to matter, didnt it? He quickly set to work repairing her impacted servos and disconnected motion relays..,
After he was done, he stood and helped her to her feet.
\"Thank you.\"

\"You're always welcome, Shear.\"

\"Feels weird being around all these Autobots, do we really hafta help them??\"

\"Within reason , but they are our firepower and the big guy over there may be one of our only keys to surviving this.\"

\"Why dont you go over there and see if you can help get him up and going?\"

Aluminus held up a hand and shook his head. \"Oooh nononono.., I ain't going any closer to that bunch than I have to.\"

He could'nt take the chance of.. of being remembered for the catastrophe that claimed several Autobot Sparks and warped his longtime love into the killing machine she was...,

He returned to Skyscythe and gave him the onceover. Expertly he finalized readjustment of an exo-panel back into place to exacting standards, even the colors fit. Decepticons always did have cooler color schemes. With all that done, He cautiously approached Soultron to make a status report on their force's repairs and readiness.
\"Sir, Lord, uuh..., Shear's up and mobile, Skyscythe's back to normal too.., Is there anything else to be done in whatever time we got?\"

Shear watched, observed and studied the Autobots. When a large noise/motion was detected from their direction, she nearly jumped! Wow, looks they got their giant friend up and going, goood. If Aluminus would have been any part of those repairs, we'd have ourselves one new ally.
Poor Tempest, killed in action, doing his job. Cant be bothered with that now, focus on the present.., She
recharged her Energy Shuriken Turbines,
sharpened her Chopperblades
and waited for a strategy to emerge..,

Aluminus walked up to Skyscythe.
\"Hey, I've reveiwed stats on some of our enemies and I got some ideas, Soundbyte, Shear you might wanna hear this too. Outflyer? C'mon over, the ol' Kann-meister's got a plan.\"
Their target in this manuever would be...Bruticus, not much of a plan, but it was a start..,

>Indeed a plan I had, I'll find it and post it too, though if it was followed, remains to be seen.<

Soultron's optics flared as life once again and seemed to surge through Manticore.
\"Ah, Manticore. It has been a long time dear friend.\"

Soultron rose from the ground and hovered towards the imposing Autobot leader. \"I hope you find your reactivation not too disturbing in the presence of the enemy. Times have changed and desperate bots seek desperate measures. Though, I do believe the score between you and I is far from settled.\"

Soultron turned to his troops. \"Shear, after the Autobots have finished with their reunion, fill the commander in on our battle strategy.\"

>So during Soultron and Manticore's meeting, further interaction occurs.<

Shear perked up and grinned at her new delegation of command, now to live up to it.
She strode over to the Autobots, trying to figure out who would seem the most approachable of the group.
Aluminus winced inwardly..,
{No no no Shear what in the pit are you doing get back here.}
He followed her over to make sure nothing went wrong.
Shear stood within auditory range of the group of Autobots, then she saw Fender.

{Oooh poor thing, how did she get hurt I wonder, still she looks so peaceful in her stasis lock. I'm getting odd readings from her though. Nothing systemic, just a gut feeling..,}

Headrush turned and saw her, standing there regarding Fender curiously, without malice.

Shear smiled sweetly at him and asked.
\"Tell me, Autobot. Tell me about her. I must bridge the peace between us. We need eachother's trust and reliance if both our factions are to see any day past this looming threat posed by our former allies.\"
She let Headrush weigh her words, unafraid, after all he would'nt try anything so dangerous as to attack her in plain sight of her group and mainly Aluminus, who stood to the left and rear of her tensed like a warrior-trained.

Aluminus was indeed tense, but more fearful than she suspected and ready to come to her aid, weapons blazing. Still, she was handling the situation expertly. Her Diplomacy no doubt a carry-over from her old life as one of...them...as he once was. Her concern for their fallen female comrade was making him edgy though. SUre, they were to trust and support them as comrades-in-arms soon, but this Sister Act of her's defied both Autobot and Decepticon ties. Fembots always seemed to have their own unspoken codes.

Shear turned to Aluminus, still smiling angelicly. Aluminus remained stoic.
\"Dear, it's within our commandment from Soultron that we be of aid to our current, albeit, temporary allies correct? may have to twist a few arms..\"
She turned to Headrush, who seemed to be confused and on gaurd.
\"...not literally of course..\"
Shear took Aluminus' hand in her own.
\"..to see if I...we..can be of some help with any repairs and touching base on strategy, perhaps.\"

Aluminus could almost see where this was going, he did'nt like it, but the opportunist in him saw a few incentives and possibilities.

He strode up to Headrush to stand chest to chest, optic to optic. \"Well, looks like we're shipmates, squirt, but if you get battle-sick, you won't ever see your home. I can repair your smashed-up friend, good as new, complete with warranty, whaddya say?\"

Shear continued beaming with happiness, she put a hand on both 'Con and 'Bot's shoulders.

\"This'll be great guys! C'mon. Two mighty factions working together toward a common goal. Think of the stories they'll tell, of this, the stuff of legends!\"
Headrush slapped her arm off his shoulderplate as if she was merely offensive garbage.

Aluminus drew his rifle, but Shear stopped his aim. \"It's okay, let him think things through at his own Autobot pace. We made our peace, you've made your reaction known, it's noted. Go your way then. We'll let you be..,\"

Headrush moved to Fender, there was no way he was leaving her unconscious form so close to a Decepticon Salvage technician and that creepy fembot..,

\"Aluminus if ur not busy at the moment i would like a word about you so-called repairs.\"

Aluminus walks over with Shear.
\"Whats up?\"

Skyscythe:\"Well for starters my right arm cannon doesn't seem to be working, but we can fix that up with something i 'found' before here in the Ark. Secondly we can use some of the arks on board defences as arms against the gestalts.
Lets find that cannon i found before first. Shear you come too.\"
The three of them walk deeper inot the ark.

Aluminus looked at Shear, she shrugged.
Aluminus had thought SKyscythe's repairs completed, but there was always a margin for error. Overconfidence, in the Salvage business, was what sank ships.

Shear walked behind Skyscythe and motioned Aluminus after her, he followed suit. and soon the 3 of them were out of sight of both groups. This felt odd, somehow..,

Skyscythe
walked more into the ark.

Sky:\"As you were repairing me i had an idea bout my righ arm. I got the idea from a body i found. Here the body i found before.\"
They meet the body of bot that has been torn in two, armour destroyed, and piece of shrapnel sticking out of its head.

Aluminus:\"Whose this?\"

Skyscythe:\"It was The Mighty Megatron. The once proud Slag Maker.\"

Shear:\"So u want Aluminus to put megatrons cannon on your arm?\"

Skyscythe:\"No it has been destroyed beyond repair, but i found something else earlier. I found Wheeljacks Laboratory.\" He turned to ALuminus

Skyscythe:\"I want you to build me a fusion cannon of my own. I want it to be more sleeker and with greater firepower than megatrons was. You can usee whatever is in wheeljack laboratory and me and Shear can get u any supplies you want from the bots out there, among the dead\" «

Well now this was good.
Aluminus rubed his chin and paced, Shear and Skyscythe waiting.
Fusion cannons, though renowned for their power, were prone to heatups and jammings.
What Skyscythe could make the most use of was a new, upgraded, higher efficiency, type 2 Fusion Emitter.

\"Very well, what I'll need, if you can sneak all this by those Autobots. I need a Molybdenum cylinder, Energon lattice, malleable, Armlink from an armounted weapon trigger-relay, hmmm, sighting scope, any kind, even if you have to rip out optics, energy field focus aligners and a tiebound myomer bundle with that extra weight on your arm, I'll have to add muscle unless you think you can heft it without a problem.\"
Skyscythe nodded and beckoned Shear folow him on their scavengerhunt.
\"You two might want to make it snappy, we got a battle to fight and all. I can work only as fast as I get parts.\"
He waited until the two of them were out of sight, then looked around the lab. There were enough parts here to make a whole other Autobot. Not as legendary as Wheeljack's lab back on
Cybertron, but well stocked. Had he thought of it sooner, he could have whipped up a batch of new warriors to aid in this battle. Hmmm., based on local life-forms as well. Slag it, lack of forethought is always the main ingredient in a good batch of hindsight. He strode over to a console and turned it up a notch, screen clarity was muzzy, then flashed
<ACCESS DENIED!>
He looked around, suspiciously, did he have time to do a little hacking?

Soundbyte walked in the room.
\"Problems with the computer? Let me try.\"
soundbyte walks up to the computer. She hums a little the begins a faint whistling tone.

\"Access Granted\"

Soundbyte:\"There ya go. Skyscythe thought u might have a problem with the computer. I'll go back and keep and see if Soultron needs help.\"

Well now. Aluminus watched her leave, then spun around to scan the computer screen.
{Hhhhm, what have we here?}
Typing and filebouncing as fast as he could.
[Directory/Main file Index/Equipment/Weapons and Ammo/Weapon Specs.]

He smiled and typed in \"Find all words containing Fusion.\" because if he could get the lab drones here or something getting this thing built with him, this weapon could be assembled faster than an Autobot eats dirt. Odd feeling though, something big was going to happen, and soon.

\"Teletran, Gimme a reading on base status.\"

<Do you wish reformatting.>

\"Yeah make me a bowl of Trunthia Glowsoup. Wait wait, you might actually try to do that. No reformatting. No I want base status report.\"

<Cannot comply.>

\"The pits with you then.\"

<Good day, Sir.>

\"Yeah, whatever.\"

He leaned against a table, then a beeep signalled his files were ready. \"Oh goodie . Let's see long-range Fusion Cannon model x-20, Naah, too knobby, He specified sleek. Oh here we go, the Reaper-4V!!\"

SKy'd like this one, it's sleek, unobtrusive, and quiet for a weapon of it's type. HE'd already given them a list of parts needed for a basic model though, this one required to light Auditory Light indicators for muffling the sound when it was fired. He paced.
His eyes settled on a robot head that seemed to have two dopey ears sticking out the sides, well well well, my my my..., Lend me your earssss..,
>Note: this is WHeeljack, who inthe old days, everytime he spoke indicators on the side of his head flashed, I never got that either, guess it was for effect?<

>Ad meanwhile the Atobots are discussing strategy and bellyaching about their discomfort with their new roles in this conflict barely their own..,<

" "8";"8";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/5/2003 7:03 am
To: AluminusKann (9 of 19)

>It's the final countdown!<

Perfect for taking on larger sized and more deadly Transformers. \"Manticore, I believe we should discuss strategy if you are willing. I feel that you should lead the assault on the gestalts since size happens to be your particular specialty. Predaking will be the most difficult of the three. Menasor will be unpredictable and Bruticus should give you little trouble.\"

>Strategy is gone over..,<

The Ark's automatic defense system was state of the art in its day and age. However, four million years without a refit had slowed its reaction time considerably. Bruticus took several shots to his mid section, but the cannon's could not retarget Menasor in time. The Stunticon combiners took a large portion of the rock face off with a crashing blow. Aided by backup fire from the generals and remaining ground forces the remaining rock face slid off and crumbled along the south-western portion of the mountain.
>Bravery and confidence force themselves to the fore.<

\"The slaughter will begin soon.\"
\"Is everyone ready?\"

\"The question is are you ready Autobot! We're ready to end this when you are.\" Skyscythe gloated as he brandished his new arm cannon.

>Aluminus's gift to his former friend.<

Finally a brave autobot spoke up from within the ranks. \"Let's do this!\" Hot Rod raised his gun in a bold display of bravado.

\"Agreed.\" Soultron smiled. \"I will distract the Decepticon generals Darkstar and Delta Storm. Manticore and his group will take out Bruticus. Shear and Aluminus will lead the assault to distract the other two combiners.

>Yes that's how things were supposed to go.<

\"Decepticons! Autobots! Attack!\" Soultron raged as he landed another blow to Delta Storm.
\"You heard him Autobots! Wreck and Rule!\"

>ANd we charged forth, a force like none other.<

\"Okay Teletran, that should do it.\"
Shear and Aluminus led Skyscythe and Soundbyte into battle with Predaking and Menasor.

>Great plan! :|<

Headrush stopped to change photon charges, when a flying Aluminus knocked him from the air. Crashing into the ground, Headrush saw Aluminus' arm clatter to the dirt to his left. The Autobot pushed the deactivated Aluminus off of him and sat up.
Predaking was holding Soundbyte in his left hand, evidently having thrown Aluminus at Headrush. The large gestalt roared triumphantly as he threw the 'Con down into Shear, shattering the smaller fem's chassis with the force of the throw.

>I \"died\" there.., Shear \"died\" there..,<

\"Suondbyte!\"
Skyscythe called out again as he made his way over to her broken form. Luckily Shear had softened her blow, but the Decepticon female paid the price as her body was shattered in several pieces. Soundbyte came to and rose from the ground as Skyscythe aided her. \"I'm fine, just some minor damage.\"

\"That's a lie, you need repair. Right now I need your talents though. Menasor is on the rebound. I need you to use your high frequency broadcasts to scramble his circuits. Can you do that?\"

\"Yes&hellip;.yes I think I can.\" Soundbyte turned towards the gestalt and began broadcasting.

\"Good, now I'll go help the others.\" Skyscyteh checked his cannon and took off towards the main battle.

\"Be careful Skyscythe.\" Soundbyte muttered softly as she focused her thoughts and her frequencies on Menasor. Menasor attempted to regain it's footing.

Soultron spun around and saw Skyscythe engaging the aggressors. He looked towards the main battle, as the Autobots seemed to be handling the Combaticons. \"All is going well. Fight hard my dear Autobots. It will be your last battle.\"

Headrush punched the Combaticon, Onslaught, in the head module, audibly breaking the connections and joints in his neck.
The Decepticon fell to the ground in a heap, leaving Headrush a moment to collect his energy reserves. He was still grounded since having his wings crushed by Predaking's attack with Aluminus.

>My last fatal strike, falling as mere garbage would!<

Blue and green fluids, mostly the siphoned energon that had already been throughout his systems, was spilled across the field as the Autobot fell to the ground, his energy cells shattered and coolant tanks leaking.

\"It&hellip;its what any Autobot would do.\" Hot Rod mumbled. Vortex's laser shot had found its way right through the openings in his armor made by Menasor's attack. There was no saving the young bot without proper medical facilities &ndash; none of which were even feasible on this planet. \"Kick Soultron one for me&hellip; Till all are&hellip;one&hellip;.\" These where his last words as his optics died and the vibrant color of his armor seemed to gray and become worn.

>Hot rod gets to die nobly though, being more popular etc.<

Manticore knelt down and placed his hand on the remaining portion of Aftershock's shoulder. The proud Autobot looked up at his commander, but his eyes did not display the look of a warrior who fought the good fight. Instead there was only fear and perhaps a sense of warning. Aftershock's optics faded and life left him. Another friend lost.

The battle intensified as several Decepticon warriors targeted Soundbyte.
\"Uhgh..I can't keep this up much longer!\"
Soundbyte's audio waves were fading and Menasor began to regain strength. Another shot hit Soundbyte in the back, sending her to the ground.

>Soundbyte falls too, another death.<

>Here Soultron seizes opportunity to attack his longtime enemy!<

Soultron barreled into Manticore's midsection, nearly toppling the mighty Autobot. Manticore kept his feet to the ground and leaned forward as to not fall. He struggled to stay standing against the power of Soultron's thrusters, and was awarded with being slowly pushed back, leaving two long canyons in his wake. Getting an idea, Manticore pushed Soultron back and lifted his large leg to knee the Renegade Decepticon across the front of his chassis.

The blow was enough to send Soultron off-balance, and Manticore let himself fall to the left, clearing a path for Soultron's thrusters to take him flying uncontrolled. Manticore was quick to regain his footing, and targeted his torso-guns on Soultron, who had dropped to the ground after disengaging his thrusters. Manticore stood tall and yelled out as he fired all four torso-guns, followed by his two larger shoulder cannons. The energy blasts hit Soultron hard and unwaveringly. It wouldn't hold him long, Manticore knew, but it would be enough while he activates his missile launcher systems. The two extensions rose up from his shoulders and locked into place. Almost immediately, all twenty-four micromissiles were locked on-target: Soultron.

Smoky trails marked the paths taken by the small missiles as they fired from the launcher housing and collided with Soultron's chassis, generating heavy clouds of smoke and debris. Once the two launchers were empty, Manticore watched as a blur shot up from the smoke clouds, pulling some of the gray haze, pulling some of it up in its wake. Soultron roared as he came thrusting down upon Manticore with plasma sword in-hand. Manticore tried to catch the blade with his palms, but the blade would not be stopped and sliced through his right shoulder, destroying the now-emptied missile launcher in the process.

Manticore screamed as Soultron ripped the blade from where it imbedded itself in his shoulder, and clutched the deep cut with his left hand &ndash; a hand also skinned by the blade's swipe. The anger in his optics grew powerful and they glowed brightly, almost leaving a trail of hazy energy behind as he moved.

Soultron stood triumphantly before the Guardian Autobot, as tall as the giant's thigh in comparison.
\"It's over,. Give it up. There's no hope for you or your Autobots.\"
He said arrogantly, as if he was wasting his time with him.
\"Or do you wish to condemn them all to a brutal and slow death?\"

Manticore held his ground, not even holding to his shoulder wound any more. Processed energon, in colors of blue and green, trailed down his chassis. Most of his energy lines had been rerouted already but there seemed to be one still leaking.
\"There's something you've forgotten since you're days as an Autobot, Soultron.\"

He growled. Soultron allowed a small chuckle, leveling the point of his sword with Manticore's head.
\"And that would be?\"

The lights powering Manticore's optics shadowed and his head retracted into his back. The back, in turn, separated from the main chassis and finished transforming into a jet, which rotated to face Soultron head-on. The rest of Manticore's body continued its transformation cycle, almost in slow motion to Soultron's optics. The arms swung down and reversed, putting the hands up near the shoulders, and folding over the font of his chassis. The body laid down on its unfolding tank treads as power to its engines was activated.

The rev of the engines scolded Soultron's audio receptors as the tank drove forward. Soultron tried to fly and evade, but the tank overtook his legs and he was thrown forward, landing atop the jet mode. Afterburners flared and both Soultron and Manticore's flying half were speeding across the terrain.

After a nanocycle of this, the jet barreled and crashed upside down into the stony ground, pounding Soultron's body into the earth. The jet was undamaged as it flew back into the air. Soultron pushed himself up from the ground, glaring after the jet. Unfortunately he wasn't paying any attention to the remaining half of his enemy. The tank raged forward thunderously, crushing any rocks or boulders that stood in its path. The large treads overtook Soultron, at first throwing the tank upward in upheaval until it crashed down atop the Decepticon. He was rolled and trampled under the treads. The crunching of armor and bending of metal rang through the cacophony of the monstrous tank engine. Finally, Soultron was expelled from behind the tank and he continued to roll along as Manticore reformed his mech mode nearby. Soultron tried standing, but one knee servo was demolished. He fell back to the ground in pain. Manticore finished interlocking his two modes and stomped over to where Soultron sat. Soultron brushed a trail of energon fluid from his mouth as Manticore addressed him.
\"Autobots never give up. We'll fight you to the bitter end, Soultron.\"
Soultron was about to retort when there was a rumbling from the volcano-mountain that held the Ark's remains.

The Ark's gauges and limit readouts were all listed in the critical or red areas. Power had already gone out over most the ship as all available energon had been redirected to the power core, which included the energy being siphoned directly from the volcano. The power core was going to meltdown, taking the entire mountain with it &ndash; something Outflyer did not intend to stick around for. He ran to the main entrance, but stopped to look back at Fender. He had managed to keep most the debris from falling atop her, and she lay so still on the makeshift table. He considered picking her up and carrying her out, as the Autobot Headrush instructed, but their two factions wouldn't be aligned much longer anyway, so he saw little point to it. Although, there was something that nagged him in the back of his thought processors.
Shaking those thoughts from his head, he turned and ran from the Ark, and all the fallen heroes and legends the Transformers had traveled so far to claim. Even the body of Optimus Prime, mutilated and defaced as it was, shared a solemn expression with the rest of the fallen bodies, as if they knew their existence in this world was finally at an end. Not that it mattered any, as the power core overloaded and all the excess energon was shunted from its systems back into the magma of the volcano. The energon ignited and the magma erupted through rock and stone. A pillar of lava shot up thought the bottom of the Ark, burning it way to the power core, as well as more lava forcing its way back through the tubes leading to the overcharged power core. The explosion occurred so quickly, the sound of the blast was delayed by several seconds. The Ark was enveloped in a flash, then the light inverted and imploded before the whole thing burst into a nigh-atomic explosion. The Ark became a fountain of debris, including some Transformer body parts, and the mountain itself was violently shaken from inside its base and foundation.
The stress had taken its toll, the entire summit and majority of the mountain became rubble and collapsed in on itself, burying the Ark and its resting place, and any traces of the legends of the past. The force of the shock wave threw every Autobot and Decepticon on the battlefield to the ground, and debris killed many, burying others still alive. The ground shook for miles, and a mushroom cloud could be seen from halfway across the state. It was almost symbolic as a final bell toll, announcing the end of the battle.

Manticore rose from the rubble-strewn ground, looking at what was once a great mountain, now only half of what it was. There wasn't much that could be seen - a thick cloud of smoke was everywhere.
His optics could barely make out the gutted husk that was once the Ark. He looked dumbly at Outflyer as he landed near where Soultron was digging himself out of debris.

Outlfyer appeared to be carrying Darkwind and another Transformer, and struggled to lift his Leader to his feet. Soultron sneered at Manticore as he rose up and hovered over the rubble. The other Decepticons were already fleeing.
\"You may have won this little skirmish, but its cost you the Ark.\"

And with those haunting words, he and Outlfyer left Manticore and the Autobots to celebrate a bitter victory.

>Now you might think this is the real end, but Aluminus Kann is Nothing if not recyclable. But I do need a rest now. fear reliving/redying has taken much out of me and I'm due for a rest. Dream deeply, live fully, love truly and hit, hit what you aim for! Peace.<

" "8";"9";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/6/2003 11:28 am
To: AluminusKann (10 of 19)

>Someplace, sometime, between the dimensions of thought and action, everything is discussed on the Subconcious level. this is something like that theory!<

Soultron: yes, must kill any possibility of G1-ressurection!

Manticore: Oh come on, like a little volcanic explosion would do that! We've see to many amazing resurrections in sci-fi to have anything be completely outr of the realm of possibilities!

Soultron: Ah, but the decepticons are dead anyway. plus the ark itself shall be destroyed, the mountain with it, ahhh, you'r probably right.
Skyscythe: but we just won't start a G1 insurrection. We won't. Right?

Soultron: The rule was no G1 character was to been used *NPC or as your own character* whatsoever after Chapter 1. Now, if we see our new characters remember to the past, or similarily interact with G1 characters, there is not much we can do, and it only serves to boost character development (i would think) when done correctly.

I wouldn't even expect to see any more living G1ers in the remaining of the chapter. All/most of the Decepticons had their energon taken from them, Several key characters are confirmed dead, and the rest were shredded in the crash. The final explosion really only serves to make it especially clear that \"all are dead\"

Aluminus Kann: I've drained the energy out of a few myself. Hope their memories are'nt dormant within me now

Aluminus Kann: AHem,
A cursory evaluation of Decepticon Capabilities indicates a few tactical deficiencies! On their parts, too, good thing, huh?

Gestaults:

Menasor: is clumsy, uncoordinated and none too bright.

Predaking: Is prone to savage berserk furies, they are his strength and
weakness.

Bruticus: this guy sholdnt even have gotten off the ship, I'm ready for
him. lol He....has no initiative, relies too heavily on being commanded, is prone to confusions and will stand in place just looking helplessly at his surroundings, and and and, has 3 points of weakness on his back armor, that when fired on, deactivate him.

So in short I propose, we play some toro with Predaking, tire him out then cage the beasts. We trip up Menasor, take away his one primary weapon, apprently he has just the one big gun on him. We confuse the heck outta Bruticus, jam transmissions to him as he's over-reliant on instruction and backshoot him thrice. How nice, whaddya thinks? Also I think it's be a nice effect, aesthetically for a Gestault cook-off a la Volcanic Barbeque.

If ya smell what the Kann is cookin'?

Beyond the realm of honor lies an open possibility field, where everything is planned ......and done.

" "8";"10";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/6/2003 12:25 pm
To: AluminusKann (11 of 19)

>This could be the alternate ending or, HAHA A NEW BEGINNING!<

Heading Toward Greatness,

The Metaverse!
TRANSFORMERS! More than Meets the Eyes! Robots in Disguise!
Transformers Interactive History!

Last wires were in place, all the heads of his enemies and so-called friends (who knows now and does it matter anymore?) were securely attached to their perceptual psuedo-reality loop programs.

They thought he and Shear were dead.
The Fools!

Being left alone to his own devices and that pun was intended, he had but to hack into Teletran-1's defense programming and knock them all offline by repolarizing the Ark's reconfiguration beam. The Fools..,

Shear walked in with yet more heads chopped off their former companions. THese were the most intersting of the bunch.

\"Well well well, Shear just set those down on the table, I wanna gloat for a bit..,\"

\"Can I watch?\" She asked viciously.

\"Oh yes, have a seat, let's get a look at our catches.\"

The empty and lifeless heads of Manticore, Skyscythe, Headrush and the ever egotistical Soultron stared vacantly back at them.

\"Well, look at this! What have we here? Four empty-headed self important pieces of Cybertronian SCRAP! I'm not impressed, Shear? Help me hook them up to the virtual reality loops. They're going to dream their little dreams for the rest of Eternity.\"

\"What about the 'Bots outside?\"

\"My Dear, those were holographic sound emitting illusions whipped up by a device I had installed upon arrival. Always come prepared..,\"

\"Brilliance!\"

\"Thank you. \"
Aluminus walked up to several prone robot forms..,

{Hmmmm, seems such a waste to leave them in such deplorable condition, why not get them back up to operational and see what happens there?}

\"Shear? We got work to do..,\"

\"Gotcha, out with the new and in with the old?\"

\"You got it.\"

Aluminus Kann and Shear Luna-C fired all their weapons at the ceiling above where the heads of their would be killers were imprisoned, covering the evidence of their dire doings until tons of rubble obscured them and set to work repairing both the fallen Autobot and Decepticon Warriors.

There was a battle coming, and none would sleep through it. Awaken the Soldiers, Begin the War, Feel the Fury.

Make your mark in History.

A collection of various spare parts collected from Wheeljack's lab and Ratchet's repair storage form a form in a newly created robot.

Bloodgeon was his name.

Things would never be the same.

Bloodgeon was activated after the final bits of assembly were completed. His optics flickered and focused on two robots staring at him. Slowly, he stood up.
\"Uuungh, Where/What/Who am I?\"

Aluminus smiled up at the larger robot and extended his hand in greeting.

\"Bloodgeon, I am Aluminus Kann and this is my Sparkpartner, Shear Luna-C. Welcome to life. We are now on the planet Sol-3, or as the small squeeking fragile creatures here call it...Earth. You were built to assist us in repairs of al these fallen beings you see here.\"

\"Why do we repair them? Are they allies?\"

Aluminus chuckled.
\"Well who knows really, but I've learned one thing in this world and that is..\"

He pointed to himself, Shear then to Bloodgeon..

\"...that every being is vital to the continuation of the natural order of things right up until their intended demise, accidental or otherwise. What our enemies sought to do was wrong, they altered history to suit their purposes and in doing so risked the danger of having to ride the Tide of altered future events to their own certain oblivion.\"

Bloodgeon nodded, all this slowly sinking into his newly activated logic circuits.

\"One other thing, heha. Shear? Let's show our new friend his true abilities.\"

Shear nodded and transformed into her Jetcopter mode. Aluminus followed suit and transformed into a sinister looking Towtruck. Bloodgeon was surprised, where his two new friends had stood... there were vehicles!

Bloodgeon thought about it for a second and then his body flexed, changed shapes and reconfigured into a type of Tank/Tractor.

\"Whoa!\"

\"Welcome to the fold, Bloodgeon. now playtime's over we got work to do.\"

And so Bloodgeon's first day of existance was one of work, which he applied himself to most wholeheartedly.

This was going to be an interesting life...,

" "8";"11";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/23/2004 2:10 am
To: ALL (12 of 19)

>Damn this one was awhile ago, Bloodgeon's long since been fried to a blacked steelrock form by sunshine and suspicion. ANyone possesing a Transphorumers RPG Profile could jump in at any point though. Ongoing collaborative fiction threads, gotta love it, lol<

" "8";"12";"

From: toade 12/28/2004 7:26 pm
To: AluminusKann (13 of 19)

at times in my life, i believed i was a transformer. and so, toade will bound across the scene at AluminusKann's present hour.

" "8";"13";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 12/28/2004 7:34 pm
To: ALL (14 of 19)

I volunteer for the pivotal role of the Transformer that transformers into a Solar System, Metacron!

Nawh too mighty..,

Stargoyle will now play Bloodgeon.

CryptoKnight will be ..... whatever.

Aluminus and Shear as themselves.

Gobie and Pixie as the two headed Catmonster Robot, MeowStereon!

{Crap gotta go to work, time is toooo damn short, lol. :( dang.}

" "8";"14";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/7/2005 5:28 am
To: ALL (15 of 19)

\"Move it frogface, forward!\" Shear proded the large robotic amphibian with one chopper blade held like a sword.

Aluminus looked up from his pile of tinkered parts. \"Shear, what and who is this?\"

Shear forced Toade down to it's knees and introduced. \"It says its name is Toade, I spotted it snooping around our base. Assumed it was a local lifeform until I saw it fire an energy weapon at a fly.\"

Toade bounded up knocking Shear to one side and with a flip stuck herself to the ceiling. \"Excuse me choppy? I was nowhere near your base, ahem, I was 2.45 miles away from this position.\"

Shear scowls and replies \"Close enough, too close for my comfort.\"

Shear looked at Aluminus for an order as to what to do with this strange being and Aluminus stood up, an impressive sight, bulked with armor and powerful servos, his pitch black visor glinted with an inner red light as he spoke. \"Well, I'll be damned, this is a Talking Frog!\"

" "8";"15";"

From: toade 1/7/2005 6:40 pm
To: AluminusKann (16 of 19)

toade's face flares red as she blurts, \"How d-dare you! You, you SCUM! I demand to know who you work for! Who put you to this?! I am not to be treated this way!\"

AluminusKann and Shear Luna-C fall into helpless laughter, creaking and clumping about stupid and robotically. Kann, through bouts of giggles, croaks out, \"Calm yourself froggy one, we mean you no harm. You know you sound pretty high and mighty for being in the situation that you're in--\" \"I AM IN NO 'SITUATION', THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!\" toade interjects.

Shear, having stopped laughing at toade's arrogant behavior, throws a chair at toade on the ceiling, and toade falls to the floor with a splat. \"Talking frogs aren't safe. You must now be destroyed.\"

toade, nearly hopping in fury spits, \"I am not a frog. I am a toad. I have had enough of the pair of you. You will now be faced with the fury of a plague of toads!\" With this, toade begins to multiply into more toads, which hop around on the floor, rrrrbbbrrrrting, and climbing on furniture.

Kann peers around curiously. \"This looks like a bit of a problem. Shall we stomp them all to pieces Shear? What fun this will be!\" Shear laughs and starts stomping. \"If we get the original one, maybe they'll stop multiplying...\"

toade shrieks, \"Enough! You vilains!\" and solidifies back into one toad.

\"Much better,\" smirks Shear. \"Now, prepare to be slaughtered.\"

\"Why don't you kiss me Shear, and I'll be your Prince Harming. As a toad/frog creature, I have the ability to change gender. Kiss me, and I'll be yours forever (and kill you in your sleep!).\" \"What was that you said??\" retorts Shear.

\"Listen here toade, you need to get out of this story, or else you will be killed. Talking animals, unless they are of the big footed sort, are unheard of, and do not belong in the transformer world...\" reasons Kann.

toade grins evilly. \"But I AM a transformer!\" toade then transforms into Amphibitron!! The transformer whose history has twice been DELETED!

\"Whoa whoa! No animal transformers!! Didn't I say that?\" muses AluminusKann.

" "8";"16";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 1/7/2005 8:15 pm
To: toade (17 of 19)

Drifting complacently through space, an immense metal form cruises with a silent rumble, inside various images flit across 73 different screens of various sizes, some showing a toad robot, a helicopter female assassin bot and one who seemed familiar to him, and yet more screens replaying the first two seasons of Northern Exposure. How he longed to reach earth and devour it, how he yearned to show these piddling smaller metal lifeforms wha real fear could be, how he anguished he did not have the first two seasons of Northern Exposure on DVD, but instead must endure a millenia of bad cable commercials and other interruptions. part of his gigantic form began to stick out from the side and gives a thumbs up to Animal bots, remind them of Ravage, Laserbeak, the Dinobots, etc etc what have yoooou. But also has to remind himself he was going to start teh new story on a different thread keeping this one as a background.prequel thingy.

" "8";"17";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/8/2005 8:55 am
To: ALL (18 of 19)

>Aluminus smiles at the spirited Toadwarrior before him, and points a silent directive to Shear, who hesitantly steps aside, powering down her weaponry. Smiling more, he snaps his fingers with a metallic CLINKT.

Thunder pulsed through the metal floor panels, a steady marching dirge, something huge this way came.

Bloodgeon walked in his usual unassuming manner, face mildly quizical as his huge form shouldered his way through the doorway a tad bit too small for his bulky frame. \"Bloodgeon my friend, outfit our new recruit with some of the salvaged weaponry we've gotten from the fallen here. Don't be picky about it either, we've got to evacuate this craft in 5 megacycles, Teletran-1 is going to awaken soon and re-activate these legends and we cannot be seen or history itself will be inoperably altered.\" Bloodgeon nodded and comradely patted Toade on the back ushering her into the main cargo bay to do a little shopping.

Shear immediately stomped up to Aluminus, eye to glowing eye and demanded \"You sentimenal flob, what are you doing? DO you think this is wise? Allowing the amphibitron or whatever she called herself into our midst without so much as a datascan?\"

Aluminus waved her off and flicked a few switches. \"I'll ask you, Shear, IS it Stupid? Wisdom is almost always discovered after the fact and nothing learned was ever taught by inaction. We can't go wrong here, between Bloodgeon and Toade here, we are near to a complete strike force to channel and steer future events to it's real and inevitable conclusions, whatever they be.\"

A large dark shape blotted out the sun on Beta Sirino 5, a day later their weather conditoins turned turbulent, days afterwards the planet was ripped from orbit by the landing of a menace beyond time, beyond space, beyondany comprehension. So begins the TransPhorumers: Time Wars!

To be Continued!<

" "8";"18";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/8/2005 9:30 am
To: ALL (19 of 19)

>Continued here!:<

TransPhorumers: Time Wars! {RPG}
http://meta.constantintilople.com/messages.php?webtag=META&msg=10.1

" "10";"1";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/8/2005 9:09 am
To: ALL (1 of 58)

>Aluminus seemed up to his neck in concerns and preparations as the sun began to set.

He could hear Toade and Bloodgeon clankling around collecting weaponry and tools and laughing about some joke they had told or heard.

Shear even seemed to have lightened up, her weakness being a sense of community and cooperation, that is once one got past her natural distrust of anything alive.

Aluminus set a few more delay bugs in place and some tailored command protocols running that would extend their time to leave by 2 megacycles, not long enough by far, but it'd have to do.

Beta Sirion 5 was rubble, floating space debris, frozen bodies floated intact amidst the wreckage when not being shatterd like ice between the colliding pieces of destroyed planet that still had post destruction momentum. They say in Space noone can hear you scream? This asteroid shattering roar being heard for 5 solar systems all around then heralded the continued progress of doom, feeding and moving feeding and moving, and craving the final course of a harmless blue green sphere that was the third in it's orbial array.<

{OOC: Out of Character, this is the continuation thread for the main storyline, I'll be back with the reference thread's link for those of you just tuning in.}

" "10";"2";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/8/2005 9:20 am
To: ALL (2 of 58)

Aluminus in Trial & Fire (His Story!)
http://meta.constantintilople.com/messages.php?webtag=META&msg=8.1

{OOC: Here's the prequel, though not alot of it will impact current events, who knows? To find out how to join in on this, first head to the link on Creating your Own Transphorumer Profile, ifnot interested we hope this will be interesting reading!}

" "10";"3";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/8/2005 9:42 am
To: ALL (3 of 58)

>And now, time to create! Create Your Own Transformers/RPG Profile http://meta.constantintilople.com/messages.php?webtag=META&msg=11.1 now, ready? Only a few basic rules, because I hate being a stickler for piddly details. OOC, Out of Character posts are allowed by Characters and Audience, feedback and asides I think, enrich the story's flavor. No killing other characters, death is too easy, but occasionally placing them in a tricky situation is alrighty, lol! All else is basic 'Phorum rules, disrespect, flaming, mockery and stalking will earn one a fate worse that Stargoyle's breath, lmao!<

" "11";"1";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 3/3/2004 1:04 am
To: ALL (1 of 44)

>Okay first we start with the \"Motto\". a 1 or 2 line something, quote that your bot would live by or use to describe how it does things/sees the world.<

Motto: \"Crush your enemies, drive over them unt hear der lamentations uff der vimmens.\"

>Next is Attributes!
These help flesh out, er, metal out your Bot. They go in this order.<

Strength:
Intelligence:
Speed:
Endurance:
Rank:
Courage:
Firepower:
Skill:

>None of these exceed ten points, unless you're asupergod type, then everyone wants to be a supergod type and the game gets real unfun, real fast. The method I use is to roll two dice and -2, subtract two, but of course when you roll two 1's round up, Noone wants to be around a 10 everything 0 intelligence robot of mass destruction, lol.<

Name: >Easy part<

Allegiance: >Autobot/Decepticon/Nuetral<

Rank: >COrresponds with your att.pts.<

Function: >What you are designed for.<

>Got those down? Yay! Here comes the cool part.<

Transformation(s): >The vehicle / machine / device you turn into. Yeah know they turn into animals now, but this is the beginning, beee paaatiennnt!<

Basic Appearance: >Size, shape, color, posture, behavior, etc.<

Weapons: >What does your robot carry, have built in, or in some cases even transform into?<

A Breif History: >I'm thinking at least 4 sentences telling ancient to most recent activities, and/or, a full 2 paragraphs, gotta limit this one or it'll turn into stuff more meant for the TransFiction sections.<

Current Mode(s): >Finally what your Robot character is all about as of the Here and Now. At least 2 sentences and no more then two paragraphs.<

>Well, there ya go, it's how the toy companies give kids today to tell them how their robots act and react, it dictates imagination a bit though.... anyways! But this is great for Roleplay or just registering your own bot creations at The Phorum. You can use them in just abotu every TransPhorum Phunction as they are as much you as you are they, \"And Me Aluminus Says You Kann, So You Can Do This, So There!\" Have fun with this and I look forward to seeing more than my pretty metal face gracing the board! :D 'Til All Are One!\"<

" "11";"2";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 3/3/2004 10:58 am
To: AluminusKann (2 of 44)

Motto: \"Parts is parts is parts.\"

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 6
Endurance: 5
Rank: 7
Courage: 5
Firepower: 9
Skill: 9

Name: Aluminus Kann

Allegiance: Decepticon

Rank: Salvage Team Lead, Repairs.

Function: Warrior, Scout, Science.

Transformation(s): Tow Truck.

Weapons: Headmounted laser, Photon Rifle, Laserblade Sword, Holographic Illusa-beam, Harpoon towline.

A Breif History: Formerly an Autobot, this twisted genius betrayed his side by sabotaging several fuel depots and
killing or severely damaging quite a few Autobots in the process. Moonshear aka Shear Luna-C being a result of his machinations.

Current Mode(s): Having defected from the Decepticon Rebellion following a doublecross that nearly killed he and Shear, they both reside on Earth, taking refuge in an isolated region of forest in North America.

" "11";"3";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 3/4/2004 11:44 am
To: AluminusKann (3 of 44)

Shear Luna-C, Formerly Moonshear.

Motto(s): \"You call this pain? This is Nothing compared to what all could do to your pitiful frame!\"

\"My Boyfriend's back and ya gonna be in trou-ble.\"

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 10
Endurance: 6
Rank: 4
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Skill: 8

Name: Shear Luna-C

Allegiance: Decepticon

Rank: Air Attack, Scout, Assassin.

Function: Warrior, Scout, \"Problemsolver\".

Transformation(s): Jetcopter.

Weapons: Highspeed Titanium Chopperblades convert to Katana and Wakizashi swords. Turbine Energy Shuriken Launchers.

A Breif History: Formerly an Autobot,
Shear was nearly destroyed in a fuel depot explosion. She managed to use the force of the blast to propel herself upwards in what many Autobots witnessed that day as an Omen, a prismatic diety arising from the flames and rubble. Thanks to te intense high damage from the explsion, her outer coating has gaind a reflective prismatic effect bordering on iridescent camoflage, but her nueral circuitry is fried and hardwired to a robo-insanity that swings from normal, to catatonic to a berserker rage that makes her a danger to all those around her.

Current Mode(s): Having defected from Decepticon Rebellion that used her and Aluminus Kann as tools and cannon fodder, she's in hiding with Kann and his forces. Sighted flying low and attackin civilian aircraft, simply the noise of their passage disturbed her, somewhere in the wooded regions of Washington State.

" "11";"4";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/9/2004 6:28 pm
To: ALL (4 of 44)

>Anyone else wants to give this a try, the tools are in the shop, use all ya need to, just put them all back when your done. Each item contains a tracking module and a remote detonation range trigger. (took my for-slaggin-ever to perfect that module, those things used to blow up in my face the minute i removed them from the toolbox itself..,) Once your robot in disguise is registered here, it is your character, and anyone caught trying to clone it will wind up in the scrap pile with severe kickdents all up on their skidplate.<

>Note: new talkcity profile upgrade allows you to add in your rpg character on it too. Wish they'd a had this earlier, but this profile itself is waaayyy too fun to erase just yet.<

" "11";"5";"

From: Amphibitron 12/11/2004 7:09 pm
To: AluminusKann (5 of 44)

DELETED!

" "11";"6";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 12/12/2004 12:47 am
To: ALL (6 of 44)

Motto: \"What you see is what you get, be careful what ya ask for.\"

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 10
Speed: 6
Endurance: 7
Rank: 10
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Skill: 6

Name: Metatron Alpha
Allegiance: Nuetral
Rank: Powerlord
Function: Citymaster

Transformation(s): From city capable of floating on water, to hovering fortress to battlestar ship, Metatron's larger body shifts to these forms.

Basic Appearance: Up close he'd seem a jumble of large metal panels shifting into various configurations and modes until setlled into seemingly inpenetrable fortresses.

Weapons: Moonbiter, his giant silver energon Axe, and sun shield his golden energon shield compliment arrayed gunnery ports set everywhere on his body, but both pale to the power of his Galacting Gun, a battleship sized particle accelerator cannon easily capable of cutting whole soloar systems in half.

A Breif History: Metatron was created to serve as one of the City guardians, and served alongside the likes of Omega Supreme and Megaplex at different tmies, but soon grew disgusted with the squabbling ungrateful and continually under foot autobots. He one day, fled for the stars and is only seen occasionally.

Current Mode(s): Mercenary Group coordinator, profitting from both sides of the war, has no loyalties because he needs no loyalties, tends t sometimes favor the Autobots for their gullibility offers him the chance to every now and then offer them a prank weapon or trick/trap otherwise. Leans to the Decepticon forces in admiration of their carelessness.

" "11";"7";"

From: Aqrn I 12/12/2004 4:24 pm
To: Metaphorm I (7 of 44)

well, i thought i did pretty okay considering i know nothing about transformers! lol.

" "11";"8";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 12/13/2004 12:15 am
To: ALL (8 of 44)

Most excellent.

Bloodgeon had one writ up that turned into a combination flying tank/tractor dealie, but with Tranformers Energon Scorponok out, it seems a pre-copy.

Who knows what Stargoyle and Crypto will turn into, lol.

" "11";"9";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 12/18/2004 8:21 pm
To: ALL (9 of 44)

>Fyi, Star turns into the embodiment of purest horror and impossibly fearsome absurdity, a giant galatctic housewife called MinuteMaid, S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK!S\\_/CK! LMAO! Now I believe its the time to call in an air strke and pull out in tactical retreat.<

(damn company dinner parties, have to attend, will be back as soon as I've assimilated all their beers and ... hors de ouvers? HorsieDoovers!<

" "11";"10";"

From: Amphibitron 12/18/2004 10:24 pm
To: ALL (10 of 44)

Amphibitron looks like a whimp. she needs a new profile. Amphibitron will transform into...

" "11";"11";"

From: Amphibitron 12/18/2004 10:26 pm
To: ALL (11 of 44)

DELETED!

" "11";"12";"

From: Amphibitron 12/18/2004 10:30 pm
To: ALL (12 of 44)

still needs work.

" "11";"13";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/11/2005 9:10 am
To: ALL (13 of 44)

>Amph's doing alot of deletion, should I be ... worried?

MEET

ZAGRETRONIAN!!!!

(Image no longer exists)

HOW HANDSOME HE IS!!!!!
>Zag's got his bot almost up and running, we're past the concept stage, next to actual design.

" "11";"14";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 1/13/2005 7:01 am
To: ALL (14 of 44)

Motto: [\"Better get what you can get before you get got, drive up and snatch your's and hide it in a safe spot.\"]

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 8
Speed: 6
Endurance: 9
Rank: 5
Courage: 5
Firepower: 7
Skill: 6

Name: Sinister
Allegiance: Autocon (new faction used in the current RPG, meaning the group Aluminus and Shear lead.)

Rank: Chief of Storage and Trasport.
Function: Surveillance, Transport and some Medic programming.

Transformation(s): Jet black tinted window conversion van.
Basic Appearance: Tall blocky, but surprising swift and dodgy for his size.

Weapons: Muffler Rifle that can blast out stinging blinding fumes of exhaust particles for a limited range. Driveline Axe that can spin like a drill.

A Breif History: Sinister served on both sides of the Autobot/Decepticon war as a mercenary and smuggler, beleiving that he could sway the war toward the Autobot side while raking in bigger profits from the highpaying Decepticons, saving up for his own hefty reclusive retirement to lay low until the war was ended. His treachery was betrayed by the onesided with or against us politics of the Decepticon Outreach Guardial Service D.O.G.S. and he was dumped out into space, his circuits disabled and badly damaged. Everything afterwards is a mystery but his presence here seems t indicate he was rescued and repaired by some unknown party and given some as yet unknown upgrades. Tends to be quiet and keep to himself, silent in private ponderings, but his loyalty to Aluminus is beyond doubt. Shear senses something odd about her old comrade though. Her extra sense about any robot's state of mind tells her something is amiss.

Current Mode(s): Has joined the Autocon cause for his own reasons, for past friendship to Aluminus and Shear, but may be working for a mysterious unseen other group or entity.

" "11";"15";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 1/13/2005 7:09 am
To: AluminusKann (15 of 44)

[Bingo! Zagre's pic gave me an idea, whip up some pics or close facsimilies to our rpg selves maybe!]

" "11";"16";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 1/13/2005 12:09 pm
To: ALL (16 of 44)

Motto: \"Sometimes I get SO Angry that I could just, well, it's not a pretty sight.\"

Strength: 10
Intelligence: 4
Speed: 4
Endurance: 10
Rank: 3
Courage: 8
Firepower: 10
Skill: 7

Name: Bloodgeon

Allegiance: Autocon

Rank: Infantry/Artillery Ground forces

Function: Oops, see above.

Transformation(s): Tank tractor hybrid.

Weapons: In Robot mode, Bloodgeon retains his tank cannon, shouldermounted, immense clawed hands and dozer ramming shield.

A Breif History: Created from the salvaged parts of those who'd betrayed Aluminus and Shear who in turn they betrayed, Bloodgeon is the epitome of newer technologies put to better use. He sees his existence as a chance to set things right the former sins of the parts of his new body. This imbues him with a silent self-loathing, but humble nature. He's susceptible to rages that sometimes damage himself and always damage those nearby.

Current Mode(s): Blood serves proudly in the new Autocon cause, seeing Shear and Aluminus as his parents if not unquestionable leaders. Will likely fight to the death for a cause he was born into and created of.
*Giving Scorpios a Good name since 1973!*
Bring the Pain! Bloodgeon's the Cooliest!

" "11";"17";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/14/2005 6:16 am
To: CryptoKnight unread (17 of 44)

>That can be done on this thread if you like, believe me I got more transpics showings planned soon, I just found out the slagging WebTV has a way piddly limit as to how many pics I can add in, it nowhere near completes even 34% of my entire collection. I'm verrrry disappointed.<

" "11";"18";"

From: Amphibitron 1/23/2005 12:08 pm
To: ALL (18 of 44)

Motto: Amph doesn't talk much.

* Strength: 10
* Intelligence: 10
* Speed: 4
* Endurance: 10
* Rank: has no rank
* Courage: 8
* Firepower: 0
* Skill: 7

Name: Amphibitron
Allegiance: more or less to toade
Rank: has no need for rank
Function: Demolition

Transformation(s):
Amphibitron is something like a rock troll, only more like a rock toad. She is a mortal, and does not transform.

Basic Appearance:
Amphibitron is enormous in size, with very thick, leather-like skin. Most weapons do nothing to damage her hide. She is much like a toad in basic shape, and dark in colour.

Weapons:
Amphibitron carries only a short dagger, which she rarely uses. She fights more with her brute strength than anything.

A Brief History:
Amphibitron's past is fairly mysterious. toade makes up most of Amph's history herself. There is some kind of a connection between Amph and Metatron, but beyond that, Amph keeps her past to herself.

Current Mode(s):
Finding a loyal friend in toade, who doesn't care much about Amph's past or treat Amphibitron like a freak, Amphibitron wanders with toade, living however the lands allow. She is in allegiance to none, but is willing to try to befriend the autocons, since toade has great faith in them.

" "11";"19";"

From: toade 1/23/2005 12:13 pm
To: ALL (19 of 44)

Motto: \"Live and let die.\"

* Strength: 3
* Intelligence: 8
* Speed: 9
* Endurance: 2
* Rank: has no rank
* Courage: 10
* Firepower: 4
* Skill: 6

Name: toade
Allegiance: Amphibitron
Rank: has no rank! er, Amph follows, so NUMBER 1
Function: Demolitions Expert

Transformation(s):
toade is a toad, therefore, does not transform.

Basic Appearance:
toade looks like a toad, but stands upright. She is the size of a toad. She is brownish is colour, and looks more intelligent than she really is. Amph is really the brains in the pair.

Weapons:
toade carries two flame-throwers in a pack on her back, with a lot of oxygen which she uses to make her voice sound funny. It serves great purpose for her flame-throwers also.

A Brief History:
Since she is a toad, toade has little history to begin with, so making it brief isn't giving me much to work with!! toade actually has been alive for a long time, and will live an even longer time. She used to just be a grouchy amphibian in her slimey pond, but then she met Amphibitron, and they become bestest friends. toade believes she is the leader, and Amph allows toade to make most of the decisions. Together, they have been through some strange lands, and have had a lot of contact with the decepticons. toade's allegiance is primarily to Amph, but also to the autocons, since the decepticons don't like her.

Current Mode(s):
toade travels with Amph. She is currently in allegiance to Aluminus and his band of autocons.

" "11";"20";"

From: Derkein 4/13/2005 2:15 pm
To: ALL (20 of 44)

Motto: &ldquo;Master of Puppets is Pulling Your Strings&rdquo;

Strength: 3
Intelligence: 10
Speed: 10
Endurance: 8
Rank: Unknown
Courage: 8
Firepower: 4
Skill: 7

Name: Suriv

Allegiance: Unknown
Rank: Unknown
Function: Unknown
Transformation(s): Can transform into anything electronic or mechanical

Basic Appearance: microscopic spider-like nanobots

Weapons: nanolazers, mind control, high speed computer hacking & viruses

Brief History: Is thought to have derived from secret military weapons testing. At first seaming to be a promising way to control the transformers. He developed a conscience and rebelled against his masters. Now Suriv travels alone. Neither good nor bad he plays by his rules, sometimes controlling the transformers for his own amusement.

" "11";"21";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 4/13/2005 5:56 pm
To: Derkein (21 of 44)

*Had that song going in my head almost immediately, and seeing Suriv in the mind's eye in action added to the effect, lol.

Toade and Amph too promiseto be very interesting characters, Aliens, Mutants, who knows... who knows indeeed...

{Not: to those who play Shade, any coincidence between Suriv and the {SOC} player known as ^virUs^ are purely coincidental, The internet is a large small world. If you're on for long enough you'll meet many many unintentional similarities.}

There'll be a new enemy afoot soon, so the Autocons will have their hands pretty full, when they meet The Deceptibots!*

{bear with me it begins to make some kind of sense soon enough, lol}

" "11";"22";"

From: Aqrn I Jul-12 3:37 am
To: ALL (22 of 44)

Reviving an old thread. <Grins wickedly!>

" "11";"23";"

From: AluminusKann Staff Jul-16 1:01 am
To: Aqrn I (23 of 44)

>Let's Get to Know mAGma!<

" "11";"24";"From: AluminusKann Staff Jul-16 1:22 am
To: ALL (24 of 44)

Synthetic Cybernetic Android Responsible for Assassination, Potential Analysis and Ceaseless Exploration

Get Your Cyborg Name

>Scarapace is a Scorponok like character I've been working on since my new email address lol Transformers loves Scorpions, they're so well built for organic critters!" "11";"25";"

From: AluminusKann Staff Jul-16 1:25 am
To: ALL (25 of 44)

>For the Quickbattle Format you can see how your Transformers profile stands up to other names on this thread, WHO WILL BE THE TOP BOT? Cybertronian Idol with Simontron Cowerr will be back after this next reply!

" "11";"26";"From: _Agrajag_ Jul-19 7:56 am
To: AluminusKann (26 of 44)

Motto: ["Sneaky Sneaky"]

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 6
Endurance: 4
Rank: 5
Courage: 4
Firepower: 8
Skill: 5

Name: mAGma
Allegiance: Unknown, but with no tendency toward evil.

Rank: Tracker for hire.
Function: Tracking and Recon.

Transformation(s): Multi-function microchip.
Basic Appearance: Relatively small (6ft tall), mostly green in colour with some yellow.

Weapons: A bright blue laser sword.

A Brief History: Little information about mAGma has yet come to light. mAGma has long been friends with Toade, although how they came to meet each other is currently unknown. Although known to few, he is generally quiet and not unfriendly.


" "11";"27";"From: _Agrajag_ Jul-24 10:25 pm
To: _Agrajag_ (27 of 44)

Zagretronian:

" "11";"28";"

From: HenryDurga Jul-27 2:49 pm
To: _Agrajag_ (28 of 44)

OMG!

ZAGRETRONIAN LOOKS LIKE A BULL MIXED WITH A PIG....IS IT FARTING?????

" "11";"29";"From: Metaphorm Staff I Jul-29 5:48 am
To: ALL (29 of 44)

Metatron! Closest pictoral match, Primus, the godrobotplanet of transformers lore, but the planet robot theme has been done to bits, how many planet robots can we really have walking around at once lol. Metatron is to Primus and Unicron what an Imperial Cruiser is to the Death Star, a robotic demigod if anything, with alternate city mode adaptable to all various planetary climes, ideal as a colonization unit." "11";"30";"

From: toade Aug-2 1:14 pm
To: HenryDurga (30 of 44)

ZOMG ZAG!! It is a golden bull of fire and shadow! The great Golden Bull!

" "11";"31";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-2 6:15 pm
To: toade unread (31 of 44)

DAMN!

I LOOK VERY HANDSOME IN A ROBOT'S SHAPE!!!

LOL

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

" "11";"32";"From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-7 12:22 am
To: HenryDurga (32 of 44)

The Zagretronian is an obsessed collector of Patsy Cline CDs too! Si, it is. He goes out walking, after midnight, in the starlight, just walking along lol." "11";"33";"

From: Aqrn I Aug-7 12:51 am
To: Metaphorm I (33 of 44)

OMG! It's Zag, AGAIN! I didn't know there was really a bull, ahhaha, lol.

" "11";"34";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-7 1:05 am
To: Aqrn I (34 of 44)

Lol, It's actually a part whale part elephant fuzor bot, just don't tell Zag. There really is a bull or two though, one's Tantrum, a part of the five robot team that combines to form Predaking, and a few others, a Decepticon pretender monster named HorriBull is another. Beast Wars had a Buffalo. You name it the Transformers have probably turned into it at some Yes, even frogs and toads lol.

" "11";"35";"

From: Aqrn I Aug-7 3:49 pm
To: Metaphorm I (35 of 44)

Frogs and toads! ZOMG! That's awesome, lol.

" "11";"36";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-9 10:49 am
To: Aqrn I (36 of 44)

The Chronicles of Ribbit? Pitch Croak? Toudephibiamph? \"Kill the Ribbit, KILL THE RIBBIT!\" (Actually this slimy ball of tongue and legs is called Spittor, he even was redone in a badarsed new Transmetal2 mode that was so good lookin it was brought back into production for a repaint for Slapper of RobotsInDisguise series's Slapper figure.)

" "11";"37";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-10 2:33 pm
To: Metaphorm I (37 of 44)

PATSY CLINE??????

Not my type...you are wrong lol

Patsy Cline (b. Virginia Patterson Hensley September 8, 1932 – March 5, 1963) was an American country music singer, who enjoyed pop music cross-over success during the era of the Nashville Sound in the early 1960s. Since her death at the age of 30 in a 1963 plane crash at the height of her career, she has been considered one of the most influential, successful, revered and acclaimed female vocalists of the 20th century. Her life and career has been the subject of numerous books, movies, documentaries, articles and stage plays.

Cline was best known for her rich tone and emotionally expressive voice, which, along with her role as a mover and shaker in the Country Music industry, has been cited and praised as an inspiration by many vocalists of various music genres since her death she has sold millions of albums over the past 50 years and won countless posthumous awards, which has given her an iconic fan status, similar to that of country music legends Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton. In 2001, she was voted by artists and members of the Country Music industry as #1 of The 40 Greatest Women of Country Music of all time and in 1999 she was voted #11 of The 100 Greatest Women in Rock and Roll of all time by members and artists of the rock industry. According to her 1973 Country Music Hall of Fame plaque: \"Her heritage of timeless recordings is testimony to her artistic capacity.\" Among those hits: \"Walkin' After Midnight\", \"I Fall to Pieces\", \"She's Got You\", \"Crazy\", and \"Sweet Dreams\".

" "11";"38";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-10 9:04 pm
To: HenryDurga (38 of 44)

Video killed the Radio Star! Video killed the Radio Star!

" "11";"39";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-10 9:10 pm
To: HenryDurga (39 of 44)

ZAGRETRONIAN

Gender Male

Location Somewhere in Outer Space!!!!

Member Since January 13, 2005

Occupation Arts/Entertainment

Birthday December 26

Astrological Sign Capricorn

Personal Quote KLANG!!!! KLANG!!!! (I dare you to translate that...whoever you are)

RPG Character Im not a robot without emotions...Im not what you see.... IM KILROY!!! KILROY!!!! KILROY!

http://forums.talkcity.com/n/pfx/profile.aspx?webtag=TCProfile&userid=816476057

" "11";"40";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-11 9:52 am
To: Metaphorm I (40 of 44)

OK OK..I'LL WORK ON MY SHAPE lol

" "11";"41";"From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-14 12:33 am
To: ALL (41 of 44)

[Closest resemblance, TF War Within's "The Fallen" comes damn close to the bulky boxish shape of Sinister, and even has a vaguely similar origin, being the moody disturbed loner type with a mysterious past and possible deadly hidden agendas lol. Sinister is based on a 1979 Ford COnversion van I had once but had to give up due to insurmountably persistent mechanical failures and ultimately had to sell for a hurtful 500 bucks. It's custom large tires, chromed, tinted windows, carpetted interior, four swiveling captains chairs and foldout benchbed made it a great camping rig, and domicile when I was living up in the lower olympic foothills woods. My city pals caled it the R-van well the kind of van pedophiles with candy baskets conduct business from lol. Disgusting. SO at first we all called it Criminal for a name, but Sinister replaced that as it kind of became a personality in it's own right, like part of our circle of friends, me, my buddies, and our big black scary vanbuddy Sinister. One day I will have another van, but man do I miss ol Sinister, but in a way he lives on in the Transphorumers. Visually I peg him as being mostly The Fallen with touches of G1's Trailbreaker and alot of the texture of TF2007movie's Ironhide.]
" "11";"42";"From: AluminusKann Staff Aug-19 12:46 am
To: HenryDurga (42 of 44)

>You are so very no-tauro-iously hard to please. Another close match is Beast Machines Longhorn. Noctorro was vaguely close but he was part bull part bat. Tantrum too of course, oddly the only vegetarian member of the Predacons gestalt. A vegetarian bat, remind you of nosveratu anyone? After all these images all I can promise you is picture of Rosie O'Donnel in devil horns." "11";"43";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-19 9:27 am
To: AluminusKann unread (43 of 44)

PLEASE, NOT ROSIE O'DONNELL ahhaahahaahahhahaahaha

ahhahhhahahah

" "11";"44";"From: HenryDurga Aug-19 9:35 am
To: AluminusKann unread (44 of 44)

 LOOKS LIKE A GNOME! lol
 
THIS???? lol
 
YEAH, HANDSOME LIKE ME jajaajajajajaj
 MMMMMM....CLOSE!

LOL...NOT ME!!!!
IM FRUSTRATED!!!!" "10";"4";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/8/2005 9:56 am
To: CryptoKnight unread (4 of 58)

>BLoodgeon ducked under the door and looked in on Shear. \"Hey, we got alot of gear here. I found me some prime photon emitter arrays and Toade's found some holographic program customisers, but I dont think We can quite carry them all where we're going, wherever we're going, in vehicle mode.\"

Shear walked past him to look at the pile of goods in teir treasure trove. \"Guys guys guys c'mon, intact weaponry? These parts are useless without a shop to assemble them in. Besides we can't possibly haul all this.\"

Aluminus strides in briskly \"She's right...,\" trying to maintain the air of command needed in this negotiation of directive. \"...Take only what you think you cannot leave behind, nothing is to be torn off the Autobot or Decepticon bodies here, spare cargo hold weaponry, things missing that can be explained away.\"

Toade put one appendage?/Finger? to her mouth and hushed them all into silence. Whispering \"Everyone hush, shhh!! SH! I heard something outside, sounded like an Engine running, then footsteps, you guys expecting company?\"

Shear raised an eyebrow \"Uhhh, no?\"

Aluminus raised his visor too, thinking. \"Totally not, no. Unless, its....\"

Outside, there Was a black conversion van parked, in it's place stood Sinister! The wild card, the unruly transport/smuggler known throughout Cybertron for his stealth and expediency despite his size. Also known to be an old friend of Aluminus, but not anyone Shear would be all too happy to invite to any energon feasts.
Uninvited as usual he walked on in.<

" "10";"5";"

From: toade 1/9/2005 8:42 pm
To: AluminusKann (5 of 58)

\"Who in the name of sin is THIS?!\" toade cried out in disgust at the entrance of the barbaric Sinister. \"The creature is going to step on me if he doesn't watch where he's putting that bulky form of his! How rude!\"

At this, Shear and toade exchanged a glance, each sharing an immediate dislike towards Sinister. Sinister was not going to enjoy his time with this band.

" "10";"6";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 1/11/2005 8:59 am
To: CryptoKnight (6 of 58)

>\"Ssssinister old buddy!\" Aluminus edged past Shear and Toade who seemed a bit edgy themselves. \"Glad you could make it old chum, we're in need if a transport unit like you to carry out some equipment for us.\"

Sinister edged past Shear and Toade to get a look inside. He stood arms crossed. \"Al, this what I think it is? I'm not much of a history buff but I'll say this greatly resembles The Ark that Optimus and his crew took from Cybertron four million years ago!\"

Aluminus stood next to him, hands spread wide. \"Yes, it is, and holding up nicely, but this isnt our's. We have to keep it intact and untampered. Sorry big guy, but you're needed more for the salvage and evac modes. The clock's ticking and we need some ways to haul out supplies, double time.\"

Sinister smiled, ideas already in mind. Aluminus could tow a huge load, and a makeshift cart or sled would do the trick nicely.

Shear could fly over with a cargo net of gear.

Sinister himself could carry quite a load of the more delicate cargo and maybe keep a percetage for himself, for carriage fee of course.

And the Toade? He'd keep an eye on that one, the slimy little amphibian seemed to be keeping too close an eye on him.

Her and Shear.

He sighed, ah the factor of Girl Power, well there was a time later to deal with that.

Toade was going to be riding shotgun, and his stereo was dead set on playing some Depeche Mode.<

" "10";"7";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 1/13/2005 6:41 am
To: toade (7 of 58)

[Sinister backed in slowly, careful not to back into Toade who was waving her large long fingered hands signalling how close he was to the small parts pile. He came to a stop. Toade made double time hauling in piece after piece at the end of suctioncupped fingers and Shear carried pieces they were going to use to build a cart to hitch onto Aluminus' towline for extra hauling space. Aluminus was transformed and parked next to him, but seemed to be napping.

\"Ssssinisterrr\"
Sinister jerked a little as a booming voice echoed in his datacore. \"WHaT?!? M-m-m-etatron? Not now, I'm there already but I'm surrounded, can't talk now.\"

\"Sssinisterrr, unssubordinate halflife, DO not take that tone with meee. Heed my words, brief they arrre. Ssstay with your group, watch them, observe them, await my further command.\"

\"Right, okay, I will.\"

Toade peeped into the cab, her face pressed against the window frame.

Zzzzrt!

Sinisters window rolled up catching Toade's tongue in it. \"Heeeyouw yeggo my YONGUE YOU Basssarh!\"

Sinister chuckled and rolled down enough for her to free her long tongue. \"Yes?\"

\"Sounded, ouch, younded lige you were talging do somewuddy in dere.\"

\"My self, I was talking to myself.\"

\"Ya know what that's a sign of right?\"

\"Insssanity?\"

\"You're odd, y'know that? I'm keeping both eyes on you.\"

\"Likewise.\"

\"Sure Buzz.\"

Aluminus perked awake. Teletran signalled 15 seconds to re-awakening and reformatting. \"Okay troops, what we got is what we have, scatter your remaining piles and let's hit the road!\"

Shear turned on her turbine shurikin launchers to propel air for a more natural windblown effect and Toade frogsplashed the rest.

Shear swiftly transformed to Chopper mode and lifted off a few feet from the ground while Toade attached the cargohooks to her struts.

She hopped into Sinisters passenger side seat and settled in, buckling her safety belt. \"It's the Law, man! Now keep both headlights on the road and follow Kann-man there.\"

\"Aye-aye....sir.\"

Soon the Ark was Empty, and Quiet except for the readying beeps that heralded in that critical piece of Transformer History.]

" "10";"8";"

From: toade 1/23/2005 11:08 am
To: CryptoKnight (8 of 58)

\"WAIT!\" toade schreeched, throwing open the van door. \"Go back, go back! It's Amphibitron!!\"

" "10";"9";"

From: Amphibitron 1/23/2005 11:35 am
To: toade (9 of 58)

\"Damn power-locks. They never work,\" Sinister muttered under his breath, disappointed at the delay.

Aluminus, confused, mumbled, \"Who's Amphibitron...?\"

\"Didn't toade already 'transform' into Amphwhatsitcalled before?\" Shear muttered, attempting to hide her contempt.

\"OH! AmPHIBitron, right. OK, well, I was wondering about that transformation myself. Since nothing happened. But I wasn't going to say anything. Didn't want to offend the poor deranged froggy thing.\"

Sinister, who had been driving around in impatient circles, suddenly froze, \"AmPHIBitron, where have I heard that before?!\"

Amphibitron lumbered up to toade, towering over the small amphibian, great bulky form blocking out the sun.

\"Amph, I didn't think you'd make it! Everything went well I hope. Was Metatron well behaved? I know how he gets. Oh, I'm so glad you made it!\" toade blathered away uncontrollably. Amph returned this devoted glee with nothing but an icy glare.

\"Watch what you say small one.\"

\"Did she say METATRON?!\" Shear hissed to Aluminus. \"I knew the warted one was trouble!\"

\"Harrrummm, we may have heard wrong?\"

\"Amph! Lord Decepticon save me! Traitors!\" Sinister growled to himself. Amphibitron was no ally of his, or of Metatron's. Or of Aluminus, Shear, and Bloodgeon for that matter. This could mean trouble!

Aluminus then transformed and steped forward to settle the problem. \"toade, who is this Amphibitron creature? We are all enemies of Metatron. I thought you a trustworthy creature, but now I'm not so sure. Tell me, who are you, and what is Amph?\"

Shear transformed and drew a wicked looking blade. \"They're spies! Let's finish them now!\"

\"Spies! Of all the unkind things to call us, you call us spies! I am no spy, nor is Amph,\" toade retorted heatedly, inching towards Sinister's rear wheel with an impact wrench.

\"We're free-ranging creatures. Mortals in a world of robots. Metatron considers us harmless, and is on good terms with Amph here.\" toade paused before continuing, \"He's not fond of me, however, and that has put a burr under Amph's bottom. We're no friends of the decepticons. Amph only has a connection through family. Mother's old fling, really.\"

All through the narrative, Amph simply stood, examining the band of transformers. Something wasn't right here, but Amph couldn't put a finger on it. As a matter of fact, Amph would have a difficult time putting a finger on anything, since her hands were more or less only a mass of thick, leathery flesh.

\"Why doesn't she speak?\" Aluminus demanded of toade, not at all pleased with this turn of events.

toade peered up at Aluminus, \"Why would she speak?\"

toade hopped back into the van, and flipped on the dashboard television to watch ROBOT WARS! \"Check out that Gnome bot! Hahahaah, with the little gnome driver!! What a laugh!\"

Aluminus exchanged a quick glance with Shear. \"Maybe we can sort this out later. Mustn't keep the boys waiting.\"

\"I knew she wasn't a bot. I knew it. You heard when it said it was a mortal, didn't you? She's useless! Both of them!\"

With a quick shrug, Aluminus transformed once again and took off from the ark, followed by a furious Shear.

\"No time now. We have another place to be!\"

\"Where are we going anyways? And did anybody think to bring Amph??\" toade leapt back out of the van to perch on Amph's shoulder.

\"We'll catch up, alright?\"

Two relieved sighs from the band, and they were off again, leaving the ark deserted once again.

" "10";"10";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 1/28/2005 9:56 am
To: Amphibitron (10 of 58)

[Sinister was still alternating between a mental headtilt and a mental shrugs as he alternated gears, he slammed it in cruise control. \"Toade, Amphib something, both, and Metatron, working for Metatron? Why was I not apprised of this?\" No deep rumbling voice in his head answered him on this and sometimes Meta's silence could prove as deadly as any outright answers could.

Aluminus pulled alongside Sinister as they both motored along. \"Sorry friend, you look troubled, but we got some catching up to do yet, and it's a long drive to where we're going right?\"

Sinister flashed his headlights in a sort of nod. \"Yeah, we do. Word on Cybertron was that you and Shear got yourselves mixed up in some kinda rebel ragtag group led by a certain Soultron?\"

\"Yeah, well, I was more or less finding my feet, er wheels too, heh, and then we located Shear and after all that I had to do some quick thinking.\"

\"You know me and the Shearster arent getting along as well lately for some reason, but if ya don't mind me asking, uh, how's she, mmm, handling things?\"

\"Close scrapes here and there, I almost lost her a few times. Sinister, her mental circuitry's still so very erratic, there's only so much one can do physicaly, the rest is up to the spirit's willing.\"

\"Too true too true..,\" Sinister said all too knowingly \"No matter what all we go through, the places we go, things we do, somethings fundamentally never change.\"

Shear swooped down to get within hearing range, her sensors had that itch that occurred whenever she was being spoken of and she wasnt so sure she liked being spoken of to Sinister, She was so intent she failed to take heed of a dark shadow briefly darkening the gruond then passnig over. \"Sinister, you'd better not be talking slag about me man, One untoward word, one sideways sentence, all it'd take, then whammo, scrap-pile, understood?\" She angrily swooped back up, cargonet swinging a bit recklessly.

\"Maaaaan, she dont let up do she?\"

\"Something's on her mind, I'll straighten it out later, anyways Something else was bothering you?\"

\"Yeah, okay I got the holograms part, in fact I detected high mass photon emissions happening before I even arrived. So the supposed landing party you artificially created outta thin air to satisfy Soultron's paranoid delusions, yeah, but uh the inhabitants of this planet managed to see all that too!\"

\"Slag! I remember now, I think Shear radio'd in some sighting of the small squishy folk of this orb seeing some of what we were doing...,\"

\"Exactly, why we should be back at the Ark, not motoring off to parts unknown.\"

\"Hey! Unknown? You're the one leading our merry party, you mean to tell me you have no destination??\" Shear shouted down from her lowering height.

\"Nooo nonono, we have a destination, it just hasn't landed yet.\" blinking one headlight in a kind of wink. \"Aluminus, Shear, aren't you two worried about these humans getting ahold of Cybertronian Technology and using it for their own purposes?\"

\"Nonsense, the Autobots and Decepticons aboard The Ark are too close to activation to approach and inspect.\"

Shear laughed wildly and in a singsong sweet voice lilted \"and the rest of who we left for dead, left us dead or so they said, but it wasn't us who bit the bullet, it was us, shocked them and ripped out their gullets, hehehehe.\"

\"Beautiful piece, hon.\"

\"Thank you!\"

\"Say what?\"

\"Well Sinister, in other words, we detached their heads and stuck them in a fully cyclic low power terminal psuedo-reality hidden deep within the ark.\"

\"And the bodies?\"

\"Well we used a large percetage of them to make Bloodgeon there.\" Bloodgeon rumbled dutifully behind, seemingly on automatic, a giant metal form almost the size of all three of them.

\"And the rest? You disposed of the bodies right?\"

\"Damn... no... I didnt..\"

\"Kann Kann Kann, when are you ever gonna learn to clean up your messes a little better, well no doing anything about it now, we cannot go back. Let's just hope for the best.\"

Foreshadowing things to come. Two shadows actually, the large city sized shadow descended and scanned the lifeforms it was looking for. The other shadow was much smaller, the size of a human, who had just seen a strange giant metal hand laying against a tree!]

" "10";"11";"

From: toade 2/13/2005 4:03 pm
To: CryptoKnight (11 of 58)

Back some distance, toade and Amphibitron were making fairly decent time. toade, from her perch on Amph's massive shoulder chattered away while Amph kept up a steady trundle onward. To where, she wasn't certain.

\"Amph, you would have been so proud of me. To see how I handled that Sinister bugger. He just came smashing onto the scene, trying to stomp the life outta me, but I wasn't about to take any crap off of his likes. I stood right up tall and told him right what I was thinkin'. Then I tripped his robotic arse to the ground and got right up into his face about it. You wouldn't belie--\"

\"--TOADE!\"

\"Yeah Amph?\"

\"Tell me, my imaginative little friend. Where do you think we are headed?\"

\"Well, obviously you're following their tracks, right? So, we're going wherever they're going.\"

\"There are centuries of tracks here, toade. Some new, some not. Why do you follow them?\" Amph patiently replied, easily covering up her true tracking abilities. This was an adventure she couldn't afford time to waste on.

\"Why the heck not? Amph, these guys (and gal) are super-heroes! Wherever they're going must be full of action. I tell ya, I miss a good scuffle. It's been, what? Months!\"

\"What about Sinister...?\" Amph teased.

toade, feeling a little exhasperated, swiftly replied, \"That, you big oaf of a toad-like creature, was no scuffle. That Sinister dude has no fighting skills what-so-ever. I don't see what Aluminus and that band see in him. Myself, on the other hand --\"

\"--toade!\"

\"We follow them. No worries about which tracks are their's. I slipped a chip into Sinister's hubcap, so I can track him wherever he goes.\"

\"Hm.\"

\"There's nothing better to do, as far as I can see.\"

\"I have things to do. As long as I can stay, I will.\"

\"Super! Steady on as you go Amph, we'll catch them up in no time at all!\"

And so the pair continued on, to wherever the others were going.

" "10";"12";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/14/2005 8:53 pm
To: toade (12 of 58)

[Out of Character, OOC: Sinister saw that, lol, I'd type more but I'm running by in passing catching up before I run off to work, suffice to say there are more surprises on the way. Beware the Zagretronian!]

" "10";"13";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 2/18/2005 5:25 am
To: ZAGRETRONIAN (13 of 58)

A scream of whining thunder lowered in pitch as Metatron lowered in elevation seeking a nice level landingspot. Settling into a space between a grove of trees and a mountainside he allowed himself a cooldown, scanning the countryside with long range energy receptors and relaxedly unfolding into his citybase configuration. They'd be arriving soon and Presentation Was Everything. 7 lifeforms within the 50 quad radius, wait... 7? \"Oh no, not him..,\"

The Zagretronian was no pleased, this mountain was HIS and His Alone, what were these... doing here?? He rumbled into his transformation and charged downhill like a 25 story tall golden bull.

Sinister skidded to stop. Shear was radioing in about something spotted uphill from the road they were on, but approaching fast and furious, and it was \"freakin' Huge\". Aluminus stopped too, and transformed, photon rifle drawn, visor scanning.

\"Al, Sinno, uphill 36 degrees, you should be able to hear it by now! Primus willya got a look at the size of that bugger!\"

The Zagretronian burst from the trees, bellowing and snorting. \"HHHEEEYYYYYYY! YOU POPCORNHEADED LITTLE SMALLER PEOPLE!! WHAT ARE YOU GNOMES FOR BEING IN THESE WOODS? THIS IS MY NEW MOUNT OLYMPUS! I'M THE UNIQUE AND ONLY GOD HERE!\"

Shear descended and landed. \"What's he talking about?\"

Sinister transformed and walked up to THE ZAGRETRONIAN with his hand extended in peace. \"Guys guys guys, the universal greeting, it works everytime, aherm, Bah Wehp Grahna Wehp Ninneh Bahng!\"

The Zagretronian tilted his head, clearly confused. \"PHEW? WHAT MEANS ALL THAT YOU SAID? I ONLY SPEAK SPANGLISH! I ASK YOU AGAIN NOW, WHAT ARE YOU THREE IDIOTS DOING IN MY HOME?\"

Aluminus stood next to Sinister \"Peace good sir, we're pilgrims in passing heading to our destination, we'll be here no longer than it takes to pass without incident.\"

Sinister snapped his fingers and smiled \"Aluminus, what luck! What we have here is a relict Cybertronian, probably an amnesiac protoform accidentally dumped from an exploratory vessel. What happens to these units is when they land and reformat to adjust to the terrain and climate, they're sometimes spotted by the locals of the more primitive cultures and worshipped as gods.\"

\"GODS, YES, I AM A GOD, HAHAAHAHAHA I'M LAUGHING LIKE A DAMN COW PUKING ABOUT THIS! KLANG KLANG! I'M THE UNIQUE GOD OF GIANT AND GOLDEN BULLS! I'M LIKE ZEUS! DEAL WITH IT! I'M NOT NARCISSIST TO SAY THIS BUT DAMN I'M GOOD!\"

Sinister lowered his voice and continued \"and being amnesiac they too buy into the whole god idea, eventually the effect wears off but sometimes it stays, but I think we can find a use for our new giant friend here!\"

\"Hmm. I see your point, okay he can tag along if he wants to, if we can get him away from his mountain home.\"

After some long and very weird negotiations the four of them were on their way to... \"ALUMINUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HEY WHEN ARE WE GONNA STOP TRAVELLING! I MUST GO MAKE POO JAJAJAJAJAJAA\"

There was no mistaking that loud voice in the distance, so much for their quiet approach, heh, well Metatron could sit here for a bit longer, he had some last minute plans to make anyway. Switching on his comm relay he scanned for Toade and Amphibitron...,

" "10";"14";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 2/18/2005 5:43 am
To: ALL (14 of 58)

Kind of a rough reprsentation of this last chapter's scene: (Image no longer exists) Minicons standing in for Bloodgeon, Shear, Aluminus, Sinister and a fuzor to represent The Zagretronian! (Pay no attention to the background, that's my audiotape storage bin there, lol.)

" "10";"15";"

From: toade 2/18/2005 9:15 pm
To: Metaphorm I (15 of 58)

\"Hey, uh... Amph? I've been checking the location of that chip I stuck on Sinister, and, well, um... Ya see... Drat, its behind us now!\"

\"I know toade. We passed it hours ago.\"

\"Oh.\" came the quiet reply.

The pair continued on for some time.

\"Where are we going then Amph?\"

\"I see them just ahead. We're going there.\"

\"Righto!\" toade replied, cheering instantly. \"You have no idea how glad I'll be to be in the company of creatures with personality! I truly do miss my old chums Amph.\"

Amphibitron snorted at the personality shot played on her by the often simple-minded toad. \"It looks like your chums have found themselves another of their sort. Some old Cybertronian sort.\"

\"OH! How wonderful! A creature more to my liking! He's something like a, um, whatchacallit, uhh, a bull! A metallic creature of the Animal Kingdom. Speed along now Amph. We'll be there in moments!\"

" "10";"16";"

From: ZAGRETRONIAN 2/19/2005 11:36 am
To: Metaphorm I (16 of 58)

LMAO

You should write a book about my creation!!!!

KLANG KLANG!!!

" "10";"17";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 2/19/2005 12:31 pm
To: ZAGRETRONIAN (17 of 58)

In a way we already are, Aluminus will be in soon to help you out with the final steps in your robot creating process. (listens to his intercom closely) He says \"After my Energon Break fool mortal fleshling, I keep no schedule but mine own.\"

" "10";"23";"

From: toade 3/6/2005 9:08 pm
To: ALL (23 of 58)

\"YEAH! The best way to die, is starting tonight! They've all lost control but they're feeling alright! Hm. Life is like a fantasy, can you live this fantassyy liiiife? (It's just a fantasy!) We are we arre, the youth of the naaation. Ooohh yes he was! The only boy who could ever reach me, was the son of a preacher something. Sigh.\"

\"Preacher man.\"

\"Oh, right! Good call Amph!\"

Yep, toade had been at this all evening and into the night. After all of the recent arrivals to the transformer band, some quite UNWANTED, travel was delayed once again. toade had cheerfully suggested a camp out, with a fire and roasting marshmellows, and that was just what she did. She built up a toad-sized bonfire, but resorted to roasting flies due to the lack of marshmellows in the area.

\"Head out on the highway! Lookin' for adventure, and whatever comes our waaayyyyy. Borrrrnnnn to be wiii-ii-ii-iild! Yeah I'm free! Free fallinn'! And I'm putting out fire with gasolinnnne...!\"

Sinister, having heard enough of toade turned and roared at the hapless little creature, \"Would you SHUT UP?! The pair of you even! You great huge poor excuse for a lump of amphibious SCUM! Why do you encourage this?! WHY?\"

toade puffed up her tiny chest to berate the giant robot, but before she could get a word in, Sinister and Amphibitron were into a scuffle. Amph was taking no lip offa this Sinister punk, and so the fight was on! Amph grabbed Sinister by the throat and squeezed, but to no effect, as the robot didn't need to breath. Sinister retaliated with a series of powerful kicks to the amphibian's stomache and a good knock over the head. Then they were in the dirt, pounding the stuffing out of each other.

\"Whoa! What's going on here? Break it up, break it up!\" yelled AluminusKann as he dove in to separate the two.

Shear sighed that I-told-you-so sigh, and gestured for Bloodgeon to help out. Bloodgeon and Kann soon had the pair apart, and the interrogation was on.

\"I don't care who started what here. But what are we going to DO with you?\"

\"I say we send them all off on their way,\" Shear happily suggested. \"We don't need any lizards to hold us back, or any frippin' bulls, and I certainly don't think we need any SMUGGLERS!\"

\"I wish it were that simple, but we DO need the smuggler, and we can use any support that we can get. Unfortunately, I don't know who toade and Amph ARE. So, it's now or never.\" Kann cleared his throat before continuing. \"Amph, who are you, and what cause do you have to associate with Metatron?\"

\"My business is my own,\" came the stoney reply.

Shear pulled out her blade, that REALLY looked like a lawn mower blade, and whispered to Amph, \"Wrong answer.\"

Kann stepped between Shear and Amph to continue. \"That wasn't the answer I was looking for, in any case. Your business is our business if you come with us. Does the little frog have anything to do with Meta?\"

\"TOAD! Thank you.\" toade spat.

\"I barely know the creature. She only knows of my connection to Metatron because she overheard it.\"

\"I'm afraid you can't be trusted to stay with this company Amph. We need total confidence in our team. Unless you're going to explain a few things, you'd best be moving on about your own business.\"

Amph glanced at toade. \"I think my business may bring us all together again at some point. But take the little toad, and I'll be sure we don't meet on any unpleasant terms. And beware of the Sinister one. He's not a new face to me, I think.\"

\"toade is welcome to come with us,\" Kann burst out hastily, feeling Shear's eyes burning into his back. \"She seems to be worth her mettle. Don't worry about her.\"

With that, Amphibitron nodded and turned to lumber off to the east, where the sun would be rising. toade watched Amph go, shrugged, and turned in to sleep. The others followed suit, Shear a little disgruntled, but glad to see giant rock-toad gone.

" "10";"18";"

From: ZAGREO_RUFUS 2/20/2005 11:14 am
To: Metaphorm I (18 of 58)

OMG!!!!

\"ZAGRETRONIAN\"????

ME LIKE A ROBOT???? Who gave permission for that?!!!

Damn! Now I know why my Temple is so empty!!! You are using my image to build a damn robot???? Are you trying to make a \"me\" without emotions????

You are all cruel!!!! I will tell all the Gods of Mt. Olympus this blasphemy!!!!!

I DECLARE A WAR!!!!

" "10";"19";"

From: ZAGRETRONIAN 2/20/2005 11:20 am
To: ZAGREO_RUFUS (19 of 58)

KLANG KLANG!!!

You are dead, Zagreo!

" "10";"20";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 2/20/2005 12:01 pm
To: ZAGREO_RUFUS (20 of 58)

Crapola, wars going on every site I'm at! (I'll tell ya about the other one in a bit, it's quite amusing) Careful there Zag, the 'tronian's a big mofo and he looks like he could squash you like a bug!

" "10";"21";"

From: ZAGREO_RUFUS 2/20/2005 1:04 pm
To: Metaphorm I (21 of 58)

GGGGRRRRRRR.... I can´t understand robots!!!!!!!!!

Damn!

" "10";"22";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 2/23/2005 8:33 pm
To: ALL (22 of 58)

Stay tuned, more later, always later it is with me hmm? lol.

" "10";"24";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 3/8/2005 6:10 pm
To: ALL (24 of 58)

\"Close?\"

\"Yes, my master.\"

\"All of you?\"

\"Sir, Shear Luna-C, Aluminus Kann with me joined by Bloodgeon, Toade and Amphibiatron are around somewhere.\"

\"You need not worry about their whereabouts, have you brought the bullgod?\"

\"Liege, yes, The Zagretronian is with us, he was most useful in clearning a trail through the heavier trees.\"

\"He has many uses as you shall soon discover, continue on your present course, I'm in Citymode with power cells filling and docking bay ready to recieve.\"

\"Sir yes sir.\"

Aluminus radio'd Shear \"Dearie? I'm thinking we're almost there, where's the Zagbot?\" a short pase and static. \"He's 2 miles ahead of you, doing a fine job of ripping up trees, tearing up the gruond and stomping in a nice firm road ahead.\" Aluminus silently nodded to himself \"Good good, according to Sinister's readout's we're almost there, large metallic structure, cybertronian in nature, and one lifesign aboard, though it's hard to trace it, seems like it's all over the place in there.\" (\"or it IS the place Itself?\" this thought casing a bit of a worry in him)

\"Dude, check this out, okay like I was hiking along, trying to catch up to Sherry and Mike and then Angie screams and points at this thing in the ground and I like run on over and like holy hell it was a huge hand, all sci fi and robotic and stuff.\"

\"Just show us where it is.\"

\"Sure thing captain minnow!\"

\"Captain Minneau, Bernard T. Minneau, lead us to the hand or whatever and head on to the recovery van there, we'll need you to fill out some forms on your way home, because thatis where you'll be heading, straight home, quietly forgetting you saw anything here!\"

\"Well okay then, no need ta get heated dude, just caled you guys in to see this, it's your deal man, whatever, later for you.\"

\"Much.\"

Walking along for what seemed like less than an hour, they reached, well it was a hand alright, only just the thumb was as tall as the tallest of them, and it was lifelike, but metallic.

\"Capt. Minneau! There's wreckage all over the place here, vehicle parts and what looks like giant robot heads arms and legs!\"

\"Shut your mouth and load up everything, I've called in more cargo carriers. We're taking it all back with us and we're gonna figure this stuff out.\"

Captain Minneau was 11 months close to military retirement and had nothing on his record except for exemplary training, a purple heart and a reputation for being the chief bully on any base, damned if he was gonna go out on that set of notes.

These new parts, whever they came from, could be used in military applications, bridging the current technological gap between America and total future military supremacy!

He smiled and extended a hand to he giant hand leaning against the tree. \"Welcome to the army partner, always good ta see a fellow like yourself willing t lend a hand.\"

" "10";"25";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 6/4/2005 7:54 am
To: ALL (25 of 58)

<OOC: Sorry about the delay folks, more popular phorms monopolized what little time we all had, but so I'm reviving this old thread and really should maintain it weekly, as instead of the weakly I have been. And Action!>

>Aluminus pulled to a stop, transformed and stepped into the cover of a cluster of small trees, he snapped his fingers with an iron KLAK noise, Shear lowered in muffled fwuffs of slowing chopperblades and transformed mere feet from teh ground to land with a subtle whump. Bloodgeon's vehicle form seemed to stretch shimmy and rattle like a tiger stretching sleepily and finally he transformed. ZAGRETRONIAN gave Sinister a light hoofkick and they too both transformed.

\"Sinister? This the place?\" Kann whispered.

\"Yes, my ship, my base if you will, and more, but we'll getinto that later, this I promise.\"

Toade hopped off ZAGRETRONIAN's shoulder, crossing her little green arms and tapping her long foot with a pattering irritation. \"Well, if ya ask me, which you didnt, but you should, I would have answered that I think this is a TRAP!\"

Amph walked up to stand behind the smaller organism. \"I mean really, C'mon guys, follow me into the deep woods, I'm a smuggler with a questionable past, who talks to himself alot and listens to Depeche Mode. How do you Robot folk live so blasted long?\"

Sinister's eyes flashed red \"Still your waggling tongues you slimy pair of mudsuckers. As long as you ... are Guests in my... home, you Will follow Protocol and you Will Do as I... or Kann of course, Say.\"

Shear shook her head and walked off a few paces. THE ZAGRETRONIAN viewed all this with a sourceless amusement, he chuckled, elbowed Bloodgeon and pointed at the exchange taking place.

With a whirring and a hissing, a port door on the side of the massive structure opened like a metal drawbridge. Sinister gave them all a comforting smile, best he could muster, but it looked like triumphance to the amphibians, a tad bit smug. Aluminus and Bloodgeon walked after Sinister, followed by THE ZAGRETRONIAN.

Almost all of them were inside, the HQ seemed to hold it's breath, to wait, as if it were alive. Toade shuddered and grabbed Amphibitron's arm. This whole thing gave her the creeps.

Meanwhile, among the humans:

Minneau smiled and shook hands with this, the elite cadre of scientists, each a specialist of the first order in each their varied fields.

\"Gentlemen, what we have here is an unknown technology here. I see it as Raw Unquestionable Opportunity here. From the Dawn of Time it was He who had the most powerful tools who did the job better, the Cavemen who used CLubs beat those who did Not, teh prehistoric warriors with swinging swords killed them, adn they in turn were felled by projectile weaponry, and so on and so forth.\"

Several trucks and large cargo vehicles drove in and began dumping and unloading piles upon piles of giant colored metal components, some of them looking like large scale body parts.

\"Your task is to make Sense of all this, to make Machines of all of this, to Make Me Proud!\" (and to make me filthy stinking rich, and clearly stinkin famous he added to himself) \"You have one week, and by the end of that week, I want walking moving working grooving whatever you can cobble together from all this debris!\"

Minneau strode out, back faced to any chance of objection, to delaying questions and other nuisances the big brains he left wondering were often capable of. It was going to be a good move this, one that wuold please world leaders or conquer them. Or Both. God Bless America, he lit his pipe and hopped into his jeep.<

" "10";"26";"

From: toade Jul-12 4:47 am
To: ALL (26 of 58)

Upon entering the city, toade quickly scurried over to low wall (tall enough to hide her mischief) and attempted to leap over it. Unfortunately, her stolen cargo was a fair bit heavier than the foolish frog thing had calculated, and she smashed directly into the sturdy wall.

\"OW! SON OF A RIP-ROARING RIVER GOOSE!\" toade bleated, massaging her bruised forehead.

Sinister turned to squint at the tiny amphibian, who was clutching something somewhat larger than herself behind herself.

\"JAJAJAJAJJAJAAAJAJAJ! THE WET THING MAKES ME LAFF LIKE A COW PUKING ON MADONNA. GAWD I LOVE MADONNA!\"

toade hissed at the attentions her big mouth had drawn to her. She abruptly turned away, tossed that thing that she was carrying over the wall, pulled her delicate bruised body up onto the wall, and prepared to duck out of sight. Just before gracefully prancing off the wall, toade flicked out a quick paw/hand and nabbed a fly out of the air. With a triumphant chortle, she vanished over the wall.

mAGma looked puzzled.... \"I thought toads caught things with their tongues.\"

Sinister, who was still staring after the repugnant little toad, whipped out his 'muffler rifle' and screamed, \"Where did THAT come from!?\" as he turned to face the newest arrival.

Aluminus jumped to cover Shear from anything the mysterious bot might be prepared to do. Bloodgeon rumbled thunderously in aggravation. mAGma blinked a few times.

\"Hi guys! I'm a tracking chip. I tracked you guys down.\" he smiled smugly. Nobody can hide from a tracking chip. Not nobody.

\"Who in this confounded place would track us?\" Shear exploded, shoving Aluminus out of the way.

Sinister had been standing where he was, open-mouthed at the appearance of mAGma, wondering... HOW could this hunk of metal have snuck up on him. Then something occurred to him. toade!

. . . . .

Over on the other side of the low wall, toade was scratching frantically at the hubcap she had confiscated from Sinister's wheel. Where did that chip get to! toade had put that tracking chip together specifically for tracking, and it was discovered and tossed aside like a piece of rubbish. It was a masterpiece! A work of art!

toade slumped down against the wall, disillusioned.

" "10";"27";"

From: _Agrajag_ Jul-13 1:20 am
To: ALL (27 of 58)

A low hum permeated the air as mAGma transformed into his native state. Although much smaller in stature compared to those he now found surrounding him, he seemed to put the others on edge as he drew his laser sword.

\"Toade! We've got trouble here!\" he shouted toward the wall his friend was hiding behind.

mAGma said nothing as he slowly turned on the spot as the others encircled him, laser sword drawn and ready to cut metal.

He was the 'speak softly and carry a big stick' sort, and he didn't know who among these strangers he could trust.

\"Toade!\"

" "10";"28";"

From: HenryDurga Jul-13 7:35 pm
To: toade (28 of 58)

I DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE TOASTED, BUT I LIKED THIS PART:

\"JAJAJAJAJJAJAAAJAJAJ! THE WET THING MAKES ME LAFF LIKE A COW PUKING ON MADONNA. GAWD I LOVE MADONNA!\"

AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ

" "10";"29";"

From: Aqrn I Jul-13 10:50 pm
To: HenryDurga (29 of 58)

I'll pretend I don't know who you are as well, Hernia. ;)

" "10";"30";"

From: HenryDurga Jul-14 9:44 am
To: Aqrn I (30 of 58)

HEY TOASTED:

I DON'T LIKE MADONNA ANYMORE....

I LIKE GWEN STEFANI....

BECAUSE IM FROM ITALY LMAO

" "10";"31";"

From: AluminusKann Staff Jul-16 12:47 am
To: ALL (31 of 58)

>At the Font Gates!

\"Gettign to be more and more like the Wizard of Oz here\" Aluminus muttered amusedly as he tapped out some code checks at one of many entrances to the newly landed cityship.

\"Alumithy I don't think we're in Kansas anymore\" Shear chuckled sweetle over his shoulder \"How's the techy button pushing coming along?\"

\"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, Shear, we are at the wizard projection itself so to speak but the real deal's inside. I don't think Sinister's telling us everything.\"

\"Always helps to take stock of the situation dearie. Ticking it off we got a giant golden bullrobot with a thunderous voice and a god complex, two amphibions of exceptional size wit and mischief who I have to assume are not native to this planet either, Bloodgeon who's cobbled together from our former enemies and betrayors and has been far too peaceful considering, an intergalactic smuggler longtime associate of our's Sinister never very trustworthy for starters but now back from the dead with an extra something to him I just can't put a digit on, and now mAGma, who by all appearances has been tracking us since who knows where.\"

Aluminus smiled \"Well when ya put it all like that, we don't sound all that bad off!\" His handheld decoder pinged urgently \"POwer surge at the Gate's Pneumetre, thi's baby;s gonna crack open,\" Aluminus looked over hsi shoulder at the assemblage of frogs, chips, van & bull and whatever else this journey would bring \"Okay group we're in, anyone coming in follow suit, quiet and close, anyone choosing the known evil of the outdoors see to perimeter recon if you could.\"

\"Spoken like a true Prime.\"

Aluminus froze at the gate, it was open, the voice issued from the darkness from nowhere and yet it knew that?! The exposure of that ancient long buried connection froze in his spark like the coldness of lost space.

From somewhere or everywhere within the Metatron laughed.<

" "10";"32";"

From: toade Jul-19 12:38 pm
To: AluminusKann unread (32 of 58)

\"MY TRACKING CHIP! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!\" toade screeched.

Shear hissed, \"Your tracking chip?\"

\"Yes, my tracking chip!\" toade spluttered. \"What did you robots do! It's a... a... a robot!\"

\"As this is your tracking chip, we were thinking mayhap you could explain it,\" Sinister growled.

\"We?\" Shear inquired. \"I'm against agreeing with you on anything Sinny! Let us just not worry about it!\" she bubbled, turning to Aluminus.

\"I'll worry about!\" toade squeaked. \"My most greatest creation turned into a robosapien!\"

\"With a light sword!\" mAGma added.

\"WHAT IS LIGHT SWORD! ISN'T IT HEAVY?!!!!!\" ZAGRETRONIAN boomed.

\"No no! It's a sword made of light,\" Ag corrected.

\"Like a light saber?\" asked Shear.

\"Something very much like that. Watch!\" mAGma stealthily crept up behind ZAGRETRONIAN and smoothly removed his bull manliness with a quick swing of his light sword. \"And there you have a cleanly castrated bull!\"

\"OOOOWOOWWWOOOWWWWOWOWOWWOW! PUT THOSE BACK! WHAT WOMAN WILL MAKE LOVE WITH ME IF I CAN NOT MAKE THEM WITH BABIES!\" ZAG bawled.

\"Not a problem,\" mAGma replied as he slammed the still steaming testes back in place. Good as new!\"

\"What are you called then comrade?\" Aluminus chuckled. \"And do mind you keep that sword of yours sheathed around me!\"

\"I'm mAGma. I was created by toade from some scraps of robot she rummaged up, and a life was instilled in me which allowed me to generate into this which you see.\"

\"But why are you called mAGma?\"

" "10";"33";"

From: HenryDurga Jul-20 10:09 am
To: toade (33 of 58)

ZAGRETRONIAN HAS DIED LIKE GOD PAN!!!!

HE IS NOW DOING PORN SITES!!!!

HE NEEDS HELP...I' LL ASK ALUMINUS!!!!

LMAO

" "10";"34";"

From: _Agrajag_ Jul-24 10:21 pm
To: ALL (34 of 58)

\"When Toade constructed me, she used liquid hot magma to fuse my components together.\" replied mAGma, unsure of who it was that had asked.

\"You really shouldn't mumble...\" he said as he glanced around at the others.

" "10";"35";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Jul-29 6:02 am
To: ALL (35 of 58)

Metatron could have rumbled with impatience, but he was as infinitely patient as the dark metter of space itself, or so he was trying to imagine he was. Sensors picked up ....... 7 potential entrants. Dropping the Prime connotation on Aluminus had clearly rattled his smaller friend heh heh it was still a sore spot he observed. One matrix away from greatness, that just had to smart. He shifted his city mode to gloss over some afterthoughts in mode and form to accomodate what he wanted known and what little surprises in store he did not want found out yet, if at all, far from the proverbial naughty bits, no other word pairing immediately bring to mind the technological aspects Metatron had at his disposal, speaking of disposal? \"Sinister,\" he waited for that mental nod and recognition \"Good, mental speak only, no alerting them to our connection, kindly begin escorting our guests inside, keep the frogs in sight, and closely monitor the chip, he alone with that dreaded Suriv could truly pose a threat to my internals.\" Sinister tilted his head, nodded and proceeded to the door, looking like an entranced penitent, walking into the mouth of a sharkticon.

" "10";"36";"

From: toade Aug-2 2:08 pm
To: Metaphorm I (36 of 58)

toade glibly pranced into the awesome metal city. \"I can't wait to find a wading pool! Hope there's slides someplace! It's been so long since I had a good wet down!\"

\"How about a hot tub? Boiled toad anyone?\" Sinister snickered.

\"We still have a job to do. Everybody keep your wits about you. I bet the chlorine wouldn't treat your warty hide too well anyhow,\" Aluminus muttered. \"What are we doing here anyways Sinny old buddy?\"

\"Ah yes, about that.... I need to go find something. I'll be right back. Why don't you check out the skylights in that big grossly intimidating building over there. It'll change your life, I mean it.\"

\"I can't imagine how seeing the sky from inside a building is going to be anything earth shatteringly resplendent or life altering,\" Shear pondered. \"But curiosity's got the best of me.\" Shear slowly moved towards the big black building as Sinister noisily tramped his way further into the city.

\"It's pretty well fortified,\" Aluminus noted. \"We could set up base here. I'm not sure what we're going to be up against. Sin's been pretty vague.\"

\"I'm pretty sure he hasn't told us anything whatsoever,\" Shear quietly murmured as she approached the opened doors and tried to sneak a peak at the ceiling. \"I can't see the skylights. I guess we'll have to go right inside.\"

\"Me first! ME FIRST!\" toade squeaked excitedly as she bolted towards the vaulted hall that awaited the group.

\"No no! Me!\" Shear blared as she leaped into the lead.

Aluminus glared after the pair as they scrambled into the hall. \"What's got into those two! It could be dangerous in here.\"

\"JAJAJAJ! DON'T YOU TRUST YOUR FRIEND, GREAT LEADER?! HE SAYS IT IS GOOD AND SAFE!\" Zagretronian laffed as he charged after the ladies.

Alumins shrugged. \"Guess we better see what's in there then.\"

When Aluminus, Bloodgeon, Amphibitron, and mAGma finally caught up with the others, they found their friends staring at the ceiling in spellbound fascination. \"I thought it was all grey and overcast out there,\" Shear managed to whisper.

\"It is!\" mAGma piped up, gazing up at the ceiling. \"Ooo, look at the red swirls! I like red, reminds me of magma....\"

\"There's purple sparkles over there,\" toade said as she mechanically moved further into the hall.

\"There's something very strange about this,\" Aluminus sighed as he also walked further into the hall. \"Have you ever seen such a complete blackness as the sky is through this skylight? So black, so very distracting.\"

\"I SEE MYSELF UP THERE,\" Zag marveled. \"I LIKE IT!\"

A loud creaking sounded from the walls about the group as they all stared transfixed at the ceiling. A moaning wind blew through the still open doors, and then all at once, half of the group vanished!

\"HEY! WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS!\"

\"Holy robobits! It's a giant magnet!\" toade screeched at Amphibitron and the bull who were the only ones still standing on the floor.

\"I wouldn't try running anywhere my froggy friend,\" Sinister intoned from the doorway. \"There's no way out.\"

\"Traitor!\" Shear yelled.

Aluminus cursed. \"How didn't I see this coming!\"

\"You are all my prisoners now, throw down your weapons. If you can!\" Sinister giggled.

toade willingly obliged and then threw her hands in the air. \"Don't kill me!!\"

Amph slid her strangely unmagnetized pocket knife across the floor away from herself and sat, waiting.

\"BRING BACK THE PICTURE THAT WAS OF ME!!\" Zagretronian bellowed as he charged at Sinister who coolly pulled out a taser gun and immobilized the bull.

\"Good. Now that that's all wrapped up, we can move on with my plans.\" But just then, mAGma started dripping down off the ceiling. He was liquid mAGma!

The pool of mAGma quickly slid across the floor and down a drain in the floor.

\"Hm, now you've got magma in your water works,\" Aluminus observed.

" "10";"37";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-3 10:35 am
To: toade unread (37 of 58)

All caught up and firmly contained, inwardly Metatron smiled, this KZZZRTK! Something was amisszzzzk buzzz sure buzzz, someONE was amiss! \"Hmmmnot PoZZZZssible!\" Metatron scrambled to scan all internal functionings, something was lodging itself too consciously, too sentiently into his core processors. \"Must guard spark! Itttttttt canNo010101010t be eggsx3po0zzzzsed!\" Metatron shuddered, electronic doors slamming down with shuddering wheezes. \"Ss$51iniste3rrzz! Zseek and locate the la la la I'm only this many years old, the Intruder is crosbridguigfgset my mainframe! Destroy it now or you too shall suffer the same fate, let's go on a blind date, NOw sinister! You have your orderszzt!\"

Sinister pulled off his canopy shield and cocked his rifle, it was time to go puddle jumping \"Thy will be done.\" [for now] He charged off down a hallway to the coolant reservoirs.

\"HEY GUAO JAJA FROM UP HERE I CAN DO POO FROM VERY HIGH!\"

Aluminus grimaced, and then smiled, Kup once told a story of how they beat the Shrykebats of Dromedon, they inverted polarities! But then there were an awful lot of casualties that day, well no sacrifice no victory. He struggled to get an arm free to press those few critical buttons.

" "10";"38";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-4 9:41 am
To: Metaphorm I (38 of 58)

\"HEY GUAO JAJA FROM UP HERE I CAN DO POO FROM VERY HIGH!\"

IT SEEMED TO ME VEEEEERY FAMILIAR THAT EXPRESSION...MMMMMM

ahahahhaahahhaahahahaahahahahaahahah

Pitiful my english sucks... I'll take classes...

" "10";"39";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-5 8:48 pm
To: HenryDurga (39 of 58)

(Like a commercial up here in the cold north says, \"You can Do it, We can Help.\"

Language is one thing, interpretation is another lol. Just ask! Americans ReGuLaRLy mis understand eachother. It's a countrywide tradition.)

Speaking of Language, anyone manages to find a Transformers language lexicon gets a big metal compactor hug from Aluminus.

" "10";"40";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-6 12:46 pm
To: Metaphorm I (40 of 58)

Then I will ask ZAGRETRONIAN for that TRANSFORMER'S LANGUAGE

jijijijiji

" "10";"41";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-6 7:38 pm
To: ALL (41 of 58)

Shear shakily tensed and managed to roll her head to the side. \"Inverted Polarities? Al we haven't got a generator.\" Aluminus smirked, \"Yet! Can you free your strongest Rotor arm up?\" Shear Tensed further, fighting the overstrong magnetic current until her arm got stiffly free and then clanged UP near Aluminus, microns closer she could have taken out an optic!

Aluminus wielded up his Photon Blade and head mounted laser and began a busy droning whirring as his towing cable unreeled a length of cable from his shoulder mounted winch. \"Winch wench Winch haha kidding, okay catch hold of an end of that, rotate anterior blades 200 x Spin to 50x Spiral linear windup ratio.\" Shear paused trying to put that all together then \"What the kinky slag are you proposing?\"

Aluminus sighed, \"Just do it!\"

Shear tied the cable hook to her Wakizashi Tailblades array and proceeded a slow steady spinning windup process. Bloodgeon watched all this steadily, not curiously but some interest kept his optics following proceedings.

Aluminus Zapped with his head laser a thin cutting beam of light severing the cable, he was almost down to 10% length on his spool, he would need to get more reel, as funny as that sounded. \"SHear ok good, not start spinning, we're going to make a reverse polarity antimagnetic field generator. Bloodgeon, wake up handsome. I need you to supply an electrical power, can you do this?\" Bloodgeon looked down at himself, thinking, this poor clumped collected frankenstein bot didn't quite know himself yet beyond the intuitive. Bloodgeon flipped his shovel arm open and revealed a previously undiscovered Arc Cannon array. He nodded \"Yes, Aluminus. I do appear to have something like this.\"

Aluminus thumbsupped, that was one well designed robot! He'd worry about the rest later. \"Give her a few volts then, on the blades, not enough to fry her, but get those badblades nice and sparky. Shear? Spin and spin fast.\"

Shear was confused! \"Nononono wait wait which way? Clockwise or counterclockwise? Righty tighty? Lefty loosey?\"

Bloodgeon shrugged and looked to the more archaic ZAGRETRONIAN \"SORRY CLOCKWISE? I DUNNO WHAT MEANS THAT! I ONLY KNOW DIGITAL AND HOURGLASS TIME! SUNDIALS TIME JAJAJA.\" Bloodgeon guessed, and spun his finger slowly from 12 a half crescent down to 6, Shear nodded and spun with Bloodgeon helping hold her arm up and out of the magnetic trap surface to keep from chopping herself up. Being as mixed up and arranged of so many different alloys and anomalous currents he had less problem with the magnetic gravity well than the puresteels did. The plan was slowly working!

Shear's reverse polarity magnetic buffer was expanding and the ZAGRETRONIAN being of his heavy gold surface dropped first but quickly grabbed Bloodgeon's ankle \"YEOWP!\" Bloodgeon flailed in midair and fell down with the bullbot. He was still holding onto Shear who was pulled weightily down with them, but with her went the reverse current! And there was still Aluminus left! \"Well that certainly worked out as expected.\" Shear was having none of this \"We'll haveto destroy the magnet on you to bring you down!\"

Aluminus looked at Bloodgeon suddenly exposing and arming more cannons than he remembered installing on him and the ZAGRETRONIAN ready to generate an earthquake! THat looked way too dangerous, and those two were still unstable variables. Aluminus shook his head frantically, \"No uh uh no way, no. You three go after Sinister and mAGma stop them both if you have to but nothing inside this place must be allowed to be damaged.\"

Shear paused at the door undecided then tore herself away on after the pursuing twosome with the ZAGRETRONIAN and Bloodgeon rumbling behind in their Bull and Tankractor modes.

\"Oh yeah, She's in Gooood hands, sigh..\" Aluminus looked around, \"Okay now big guy it's just you and me and...,\" He looked quickly around for the two frog things. Where did those things go off to now? \"...and me and you then. Let us... talk?\"

A tremor passed through the ceiling and plates moved aside symetrically, forming a face. Metatron! Aluminus gasped in horrid recognition! \"Ssszztate your m1nd! I'm eye aye in no00 mo0d for four 4 sm4l7 T@Lk.\"

" "10";"42";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-6 7:54 pm
To: Metaphorm I (42 of 58)

Damn!

ZAGRETRONIAN IS BACK! But my english is limitated!!!!

Why ZAGRETRONIAN don't speak spanish???? uh? lol

" "10";"43";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-6 7:56 pm
To: Metaphorm I (43 of 58)

I NEED TO REMEMBER HOW IT LOOKS ZAGRETRONIAN!!!!!

MY ROBOT MEMORY IS OUT!!!!!

ALUMINUS HELP ME!!!!

" "10";"44";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-6 9:11 pm
To: HenryDurga (44 of 58)

(It should be in the Transformer profiles one. Or in Zagretronian's old profile, ya want me to dig him up for a quick look?)

" "10";"45";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-8 1:35 am
To: ALL (45 of 58)

Sinister sped up his running, holstering his rifle he figured this speed wasinsufficient for scouring the Metascape for his metascaped target. He figured it was time to \"Get Wheel\"! He dove for the floor and in mid air rapidly reconfigured to his Van mode. He sped up faster than most ordinary terrestrial vans go.

\"Scanning, I'll find you yet. What are you my chippy friend? How are you doing this voodoo you're doing so well?\" He skidded around a corner in a fury of squeeling custom fatboy tires and roaring engine \"I mean what is it? Nanites? Polyalloys? Mercurochromium Dextronics?\"

He flicked on headlights as he entered a tunnel without thinking, without thought is what led to what happened next. \"Shoulda known anything arriving in with that amoral amphibian pair couldn't be good for the interiors.\" What he missed was a slick glowing red puddle, without thought he slid spinning, desperately trying to regain control he hopped up out of van form and planted his feet in mid slide, but cartwheel tumbled and crashed unceremoniously into an unforgivign steel wall! |oo<<KLASH!<<< Laying in a heap, furious at himself he strggled to pull out his muffler rifle and frowned, the thing was bent into a U shape by the impact. Then the glowing firebrick red matter began flowing up over his leg joints and hands. Sinister panicked, he had few phobias left over in this newest incarnation, but losing control of any situation was still one of them. He tried to supress a scream.

" "10";"46";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-8 11:27 am
To: CryptoKnight (46 of 58)

.but it froze Bloodgeon in his tracks, and nearly clotheslined the running of the bull ZAGRETRONIAN with Bloodgeon's arm in his path. \"Ssshhh, hoof in mouth, loud one!\" Bloodgeon waved his hand down cautiously \"Did you just hear that music?\"

The ZAGRETRONIAN winced, shrugged \"I HEAR NOTHING BLOODBRO, OR MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE SHAKIRA SITTING ON A HOT ROCK?\" His horned head swiveled left and right scanning, and sniffing. \"PHEW!\"

Bloodgeon mused at the transorganic scanning abilities, an odd twitch in his left eye, and assumed his own scanning. \"Hmmm, plasmic corrosive or hypoactive molecular dissimilant ahead, temperature volcanic, configuration mutable.\"

\"WHAT MEANS THAT?\"

\"It means mAGma, my bullowing cohunter, mAGma.\"

\"MAGMA? WHAT'S HE DOING?\"

\"He's zeroing in on us thanks to Your Loud Voice! Armor up and weapons locked and loaded, your urge to become browned burrito stuffing isn't going to take me with it. Defend yourself or it's every bot for itself, and I flat promise you will perish before I do.\" Bloodgeon shifted gruesomely to a robotoid mass of bristling weaponry and clawed limbs with the growl of deviant hydraulic setups and the howl of condensed evils.
\"WHAT?! BUT DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST WHAT? MAGMA OR YOU?\"

Bloodgeon settled into final modings with an oddly happy sigh, \"Good question..,\"

" "10";"47";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-10 2:35 pm
To: Stargoyle (47 of 58)

LMAO

BURRITOS jajajajajaajajaj

" "10";"48";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-10 2:36 pm
To: Metaphorm I (48 of 58)

(It should be in the Transformer profiles one. Or in Zagretronian's old profile, ya want me to dig him up for a quick look?)

YES, YES!!!!

IM TOTALLY LOST!

" "10";"49";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-10 11:09 pm
To: HenryDurga (49 of 58)

{(It should be in the Create Your Own Transformer RPG Profiles one. Or in Zagretronian's old profile, ya want to dig him up for a quick look, his link is there now.)}

" "10";"50";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-14 12:07 am
To: ALL (50 of 58)

[Sinister was on his last fringes of insanity here, the glowing red glop was co-opting his hardware intent unknown. But a guess attempted to read it's purpose as restraint, and analysis while it waited on a decision as to what to do with him. His useless bent into a U shapped Muffler rifle lay just out of reach, but a feigned slump of defeat to the left put it in his quick grasp and he fired! Noxious black exhaust smoke issued from the barrel in sickening quantities, coating and almost diluting the pure substance of the magma causing it to hiss and withdraw freeing up some movement!

He stood up quickly, carefully and backed away from the still puddle, noting some corrosion to his paintjob and minor joint fusing but otherwise workable condition. Out of the corner of his sensors he could hear voices, The ZAGRETRONIAN and that other one Bloodgeon from what he could tell. If ever there was a twosome he did NOT want seeing him in this sorry state.., Still they had to be better than that damnable Shear, the prismatic turncoat who eons unspoken had left him for the cold callous reworkings and machinations of his one time close friend Aluminus Kann, now uncertain distant acquaintance.

The detestable rotor whirling vixenbot who in a new form still attracted him almost magnetically in ways he disgusted himself for. The very same who had managed to get the drop on him, blades to his throat and pulling him down and out of sight around a corner with a whispered admonishment! \"Move and you die, so much as compress one single tiny solenoid in your entire chassis and your headware comes off..,\"]

" "10";"51";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-17 5:05 am
To: CryptoKnight unread (51 of 58)

The Zagretronian is getting stronger!!!!

Danger!!!!

He acts stupidly!!! He farts all over the place!!!!

" "10";"52";"From: HenryDurga Aug-17 8:30 am
To: Metaphorm I (52 of 58)

META:
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS NOT THE ZAGRETRONIAN!!!!
Austin shred

¡YO SOY ZAGRETRONIAN!!!!
¡NO SE METAN CONMIGO PORQUE SOY MUY VIOLENTO!!!!
¡ESTOY COMIENDO!!!! ¡NO SOY UNA VACA, SOY UN TORO FURIOSO!
¡SOY HERMANO DEL MINOTAURO!!!!
¡VÁYANSE!!!!" "10";"53";"Message 53 of 58 was Deleted" "10";"54";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-17 10:28 am
To: HenryDurga (54 of 58)

(Lmao, usted dijo Aluminus una vez de la manera que usted quisiera que su carácter fuera un toro de oro gigante que podría hacer terremotos. Eso es un jajaja muy bonito del cuadro sin embargo. So you prefer a Minotaur type of robot then. I think that one can be found too.)

" "10";"55";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-17 6:59 pm
To: Metaphorm I (55 of 58)

Meta:

I prefer a MINOTAURUS TYPE... UN TORO DE ORO NO ME GUSTA...ME VEO FEO Y DISGUSTING lol

I LIKE THE IDEA OF CAUSING TERREMOTOS!!!!!

We are having the perfect SPANGLISH ajjajaajaj

¡Saludos, hermano!

" "10";"56";"From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-17 8:13 pm
To: HenryDurga (56 of 58)

" "10";"57";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-18 7:33 am
To: Metaphorm I (57 of 58)

DAMN!!!

I LOOK SO PREHISTORIC!!!! lol

" "10";"58";"

From: AluminusKann Staff Aug-19 1:16 am
To: ALL (58 of 58)

>I'm all audiographs, let's talk already, Aluminus thought, suspended high above the floor stuck magnetized to Metatron's bottrap. \"I say HEY! Big ominous voice in charge of this place, it's just you and me now! I have questions.\" The walls shuddered with irritation, seems it's attention was elsewhere and it hated being pulled away from inane trivium. A squelching feedback erupted until finally a radio transmission was heard, incomplete but poignant? \"You got Questions? We got Answers, Just call-\" Aluminus mused, so it was games now was it? Who was this to think he would believe any 'bot could only talk in scrambled radio phrases?

\"Fine then, tell me who you are and why you know too uncomfortably much about me, what are your intentions with us?\"

A pause then \"Your own Personal Jesus, Someone to- I hear the Secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep- I just want you to know, you're one of my Kind.\"

Aluminus had his audiograph tuned and detected somehow this immense system was clipping bits of amplitude modulated radio wave transmissions and splicing them up for language, maybe the speech centers were damaged somehow, it seemed to speak into his mind just fine before. Still it was like speaking pidgin Junkion.., \"Can you tell me just one thing then.\"

\"HeY yEaH!\"

\"What are you doing here? On Earth? Terra? Sol-3? PaxCybertronian Treaty zone Class 5P1K3?\"

\"Free your miiind and the Rest will follow!\" And with a hissing of displaced air and shadow, whirling light particles rushed form and filled in shapes with colors to resolve themselves into whatever the beginning of an explanation this complex had to offer. \"I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, til I met yooou- If I could turn back time, if I could find some way- Sweet dreams are made of these-\" Gradually a picture of an immense horned shadow that blotted out the stars behind Cybertron was displayed! \"Shout, Shout Shout, Shout at the Devil!\"

Aluminus felt a chill like freon flow through his circuitry, this was the one! That lost one of centuries ago! An AstroSentinel maybe. A CityShip Guardian Class Autocruiser! History was real vague on these behemoths but one thing was clear, they feared nothing, nothing but the ultra small or intrusive bots, or Unicron Himself. And the heavens help us all if The Chaos Bringer has truly returned to life and to known space.<

" "10";"59";"I like that blue bull! That is awesome. I haven't checked this thread in while, must get to reading. :-&" "12";"1";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 1/12/2004 5:20 pm
To: ALL (1 of 126)

{Assuming Christians have any sense of humour, I'm boldly posting these!}

The Metaverse!
Religions/Mythologies: Metaversal Home of All Gods! Christianity! Monotheistic Religion founded in the Middle East!
(Moderator: Metaphorm)
Christian Humor!

{Bloodgeon!}
[They do have a sense of humor right?]

[Hope so..,]

[Here goes..]

E-mail message

Fish Story

On the last day of his vacation trip, the priest hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in. The guide, holding a net, yelled, \"Look at the size of that Son of a [™þçª]!\"

\"Son, I'm a priest,\" said the priest.
\"Your language is uncalled
for!\"

\"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is -- it's called a Son of a
[™þçª] fish!\"

\"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a [™þçª]!\" Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. \"Father, that's the biggest Son of a [™þçª] I've ever seen.\" \"Yes, it is a big Son of a [™þçª]. What should I do with it?\" \"Why, eat it, of course. You've never tasted anything as good as a Son of a [™þçª]!\"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip. \"Take a look at t his big Son of a [™þçª] I caught!\" said the priest.

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, \"Father!\" \"It's OK, Sister.

That's what kind of fish it is -- it's a Son of a [™þçª] fish!\"

\"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a
[™þçª]?\"

\"Why, eat it, of course. The guide said nothing compares to the taste of a Son of a [™þçª].\"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a [™þçª] for his dinner.

\"I'll even clean the Son of a [™þçª]\", she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. \"What are you
doing, Sister?\" he asked.

\"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a [™þçª] for the new
Bishops' dinner.\"

\"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!\"

\"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a [™þçª] fish.\" \"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a [™þçª] can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a [™þçª].\" On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent!

The new Bishop said, \"This is great fish. Where did you get it?\" \"I caught that Son of a [™þçª]!\" proclaimed the proud priest. The Bishop's eyes opened wide, but he said nothing. \"And I cleaned the Son of a [™þçª]!\" exclaimed the Sister. The Bishop sat silent in disbelief.

The Friar added, \"And I prepared the Son of a [™þçª], using a
special recipe!\"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them. Slowly a big smile crept across his face as he said, \"You mother [ƒç†]ers are my kind of people!\"

Jojara
The pastor was talking to a group of young children about believing in Jesus and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, \"Where do you want to go?\"
\"Heaven!\" they all piped up.
\"And what do you have to be to get there?\"
\"Dead!\", one boy yelled.

Jojara
\"NEVER\" QUOTES

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier. -Anonymous

Never accept a drink from a urologist. --Erma Bombeck

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial. --Sydney Biddle Barrows, the \"Mayflower Madam\"

Never say \"Oops\" in the operating room. --Dr. Leo Troy

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. --Dan Zevin

Never kick a fresh cow pie on a hot day. --Harry S. Truman

Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's 16-year-old daughter on your lap. --Anonymous member of a chain gang

Never use while sleeping. --Instruction on Conair hair dryer

Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, \"Look, it's always gonna be me!\" --Rita Rudner

Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. --Woodrow Wilson

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.--Winston Churchill

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. --John Peers

Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel. --American
adage about newspaper editors.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. --Kimberly Johnson

Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, if he doesn't like what you have to say, it'll be OK because you'll be a mile way and you'll have his shoes.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. --Hanlon's Razor

Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a hammer or get a splinter in it. --Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb

Never eat more than you can lift. --Miss Piggy

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. --Sam Brown, The Washington Post

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. --Salvor Hardin

Never try to out-stubborn a cat. --Lazarus Long

Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing.

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked \"petite\" and hold on to the receipt.

Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.

{Bloodgeon!}
» That all reads like the 25 commandments...,

Jojara
What else would it be?
I say live by these 25 commandments....and you will be fine

{That's all I think there really is to it, live as good as you can for yourself and others, be decent, be mellow, etc. None of this BURN IN HELL Outdated, Superstitious, Paranoid, Puritan, Conformist, Rigid, Pompousity, that called itself a Religion for far too long. If it works for you, great, keep it there, because I outgrew the need for an angry, neglectful parent figure long ago.}}

" "12";"2";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 1/12/2004 6:14 pm
To: Bloodgeon (2 of 126)

{And right after I post all that, this ad comes atop the Metascreen! Would it be bad to advert the advertisers? ;) I think not, Let's do diss!}

Christian singles looking for love, romance, friends, dating, relationships, personal, classified, matchmaking & dating services. A single site with Christian chat rooms for a Christian Single.
{I think in some extreme cases, christian and single answers itself. Some of them are Fanatics. a major turn-off.}

seeking a: {DemonQueen or Femalticore.}

between the age of: {250 to 350.}

located in: {A dark place.}

Welcome to the premier Christian singles site online. www.ChristianCafe.com is a comfortable relaxing online Cafe where Christian singles connect with each other. Whether you're looking for a companion, a date, or a soul mate, www.ChristianCafe.com is the place for you!
{Oh no, soulmates, is'nt that what those spiritual new age blasphemers like to toss around in their heretica jargon?}

Warm, romantic, inviting... Come on in!
Create your FREE TRIAL profile & browse 1000's of other Christian singles.
{I was tempted, lol, but I'm trying to be a good christian.}

Check out photos, detailed bio's, attractive men and women, all looking for love, romance, friends, fellowship, pen-pals, dating & relationships.
{Attractive? What are the doing going to Church, the could be out and about, living!}

Feature Couple 1) - Ed and Norma
When I sent Norma an instant message in Feb. 2002, all I really expected was a new penpal. She lived in Brazil, and I thought she was too far away (she did too). But it didn't take long before I realized she was someone special. Last December I flew down to meet her and at the end of that visit we knew we wanted to be married. We did marry: on October 18 in Brazil! I thank God and www.ChristianCafe.com for making all of this possible.
{Yw, My Child. T'was the least I could do, I know, I made sure of that. Glad to see her gold tooth and mustache were no barriers to your mutual love and all.}

Feature Couple 2) - Marlena and John
I would like to thank www.ChristianCafe.com for the excellent service and the opportunity to meet my husband Cliff. We met in April and by Sep 17 we were already married. God is awesome and He still answers prayer.
{Occasionally, but I do sleep in on Sundays, and the ringer is OFF!}

www.ChristianCafe.com is for Christian singles looking for love, romance, friends, fellowship, pen-pals, dating & relationships in a virtual Cafe. Better than personals, classifieds, matchmaking & dating services
{I don't think even there, my humour would be appreciated. I have an almost inability to keep it clean.}

www.ChristianCafe.com is a single site with Christian chat rooms, photos, and profiles for a Christian single man or a Christian single woman - everything in one Christian web site. Christian Cafe.com is for Americans, Canadians, Australians and any other singles globally. This is a national and international Christian dating site.
{So you can find another christian and christian out to your christian heart's content.}

You'll find members in our photo personals from a variety of age groups and denominations as well as Christian singles from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds. We have prayer postings from African Americans, Asians, Europeans and Caucasians, Africans & Latin Americans; Seniors and other Adults; Catholic singles, Baptists, Pentecostals and others.
{OMG, oops Oh My ME! This is worldwide! All these folks, Christian and Single! Is'nt Jesus in your heart enough? lol.}

We're a Match Maker for singles who hail from the USA, Christian singles from Canada, Mexico and Latin America, UK, Africa & Asia. Many African, American singles, Asian, Australian, Canadian, European, South American singles.
{Wowzers, golly gee, damn, oops darn it all to heck, this is flat fff-frikking amazing!}

www.ChristianCafe.com is for christiansingles in other words! Men and women looking for free dating services (we offer an excellent free trial), online dating (date, blind date), singles dating, pen pals or singles love. Christian singles: meet your soulmate in our cozy Christian Cafe!
{Yuck, my experience with christian cafes is they don't serve alcohol! Now, how the hell, oops heckydarn, are those christian singles supposed to look at all any better to eachother without at least the \"blood of christ\" irrigating their holy temples?}

{Well, Christians, give it a go. Tell them Bloodgeon sent you, tell em I was being a mean, cruel, rude example of mortal sin, something. And try to realise this was done in jest. It's sad if you can't take a joke, you must be a joke.}

" "12";"3";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 1/12/2004 6:26 pm
To: Bloodgeon (3 of 126)

{Besides, look to Astrology for your perfect mate, if you're feeling up to it? \"Yea, tho I walk through the zodiac in the shadows of space..,\"}

Subject: the best person to be with would be someone with the:

courageousness of an aries

steadfastness of a taurus

wit of a gemini

sympathy of a cancer

radiance of a leo

productiveness of a virgo

diplomacy and grace of a libra

passion and power of a scorpio

enthusiasm of a sagittarius

ambitions of a capricorn

visions of an aquarius

and empathy of a pisces

************** IMPORTANT MESSAGE

" "12";"4";"

From: ReeseElla 2/8/2004 10:21 am
To: Bloodgeon (4 of 126)

Mant, honey, I call myself a Christian, all right, but I'd rather have a colostomy than be married and would rather have a root canal than a relationship. At my age, who needs it? I earn my own living and my childbearing years are long past.

But I'm sure that web site has its uses for religious people who are blatantly looking for somebody to marry. And they know that nobody will try taking any indecent liberties until after the wedding in the church.....as least, I guess they wouldn't.....:P :P :P

Really, it's kinda neat for those who are into that stuff.

" "12";"5";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/8/2004 11:49 am
To: ReeseElla (5 of 126)

[I keep the Sasquatch stuff in it's place and Religions and Mythologies in it's own categories. They may be on the same site, but they're wholly their own sections with their own people and own perspectives. Still my favorite quote be \"God save us from your followers!\" Christianity could be taken more seriously if it were represented by finer folk such as yourself, but it's become a magnet for so much hypocracy and fanaticism that I forsook Church for more peaceful communion atop a moonlit mountain, next to a river or lake. Who says a Sasquatch can't be an Angel? Numerous Indian tales tell of them aiding lost travellers after all.]

" "12";"6";"

From: ReeseElla 2/9/2004 9:27 am
To: CryptoKnight (6 of 126)

I feel much closer to God down on my river and in the woods than I ever feel inside a church. Mant, you sound like a recovering Baptist to me. :D

I don't have a big problem with hypocrisy, as none of us always practice what we preach 100% of the time. My big problem is with bigotry. It turns me off like little else. Hypocrisy is about what we do. Bigotry is about what we are. \"Holier than thou/better than thou\" attitudes elicit my profoundest impatience and crankiness. I have to tell myself that they aren't jerks, they are just unenlightened.

I still go to church, now and then--only when I feel like it--because a worship service don't hoit. But I take what I want and leave the rest. At least I finally am able to do that in church. If the little preacher starts a rant about the evils of homosexuality, for instance, I just tune it out until he moves on to something else. In fact, this particular preacher is so hilarious--think redneck, goatroping, subliterate, Texas born-again--that it's all I can do to stifle my loud guffaws when he gets on a roll. But usually, my Sunday morning 12-step meeting in Rosenberg is church to me. There's infinitely more love, compassion, tolerance and empathy there than you'll find in any church on this earth. JMO.

For five years or so, I was unable to attend a church service at all because I would get so indignant at the bigotry expressed there and would cop a resentment, which is the number one offender. So now, even at my advanced age, I feel like I'm still growing, to have reached a point of being able to laugh at it instead fuming and puffing up. (:

" "12";"7";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/9/2004 11:17 am
To: ReeseElla (7 of 126)

{churches for some folks, are a way to make money, not having a real job, get to tell people how to live and be looked up t and even mildly feared. Christianity, is being degraded and/or replaced by the representations it gives people. God's become more of an individualised experience, sans the sunday crowds and monotonous sermons. and for recovering from religious onslaught I've a recoervering everything, but I must be a glutton for that kinda punishment cause I attract Saviours And Damners alike.}

" "12";"8";"

From: AriesPhoenix 2/10/2004 3:26 am
To: ReeseElla (8 of 126)

Hiya Ella ellaphant (i was the MonotarRach nic ya never could type)...next to posts on the phorum there is a blue box and in it says 'CHAT NOW' under that is the name of his room...click the name of the room and you can chat with him in person...in warning he comes and checks and waits but he can't be patient about the waiting cause he starts to think he's being too caring...but he does check...love and light and i hope that this works...Ella i thank you for your light it always makes him smile(oh and he aint back til after 7am his time the 10th ;)

" "12";"9";"

From: ReeseElla 2/10/2004 10:12 am
To: AriesPhoenix (9 of 126)

Yeah, but right now it's my bedtime.....I had a bad experience and worried all night. Two of my beloved dogs disappeared for two days and I just knew the nappy neighbors down the road, who despise me, had shot them dead or poisoned them. Well, one of them showed up this morning like nothing had happened, and I hope the other one will. At least, I know now that if Topaz (the one still missing) doesn't come back, he may have been run over or lost a fight with some coyotes, who are out in force right now. Anyway, I still had to work from 12-7, so I'm going back to sleep....but as soon as I can get on there and chat with Mant, I will, when I'm awake. He's such a great young man in every respect and I'm so happy he married the right young woman. There's not a lot of that going around.

Guess I was being paranoid, but those neighbors are a real piece of work. He's a chronic drunkard in his sixties, and she's as nutty as it gets, sicker than he is, also in her sixties! LOL, God doesn't need to waste any time on punishing them, their own self-inflicted misery and bitterness is a worse punishment than God would ever do to anybody. :P Love, Ella Ellaphant

ELLAPHANTS RULE! Nappy neigbors drool....and typoes and mispeled wrods are real aggravating to have to go back and corect!

" "12";"10";"From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/12/2004 2:02 pm
To: ReeseElla (10 of 126)

{LOL Thisone's for Aries'/Mono's No Caring quip, lol seems fitting..,}

(Aqrn saw fit to not move the picture over) NEW!! Which Angel are you?

{After all everyone's an Angel On Earth, Right? Annnnd not that I don't care, but but but I have the attention span of a gerbil, but likeI said earlier, if there's a reason to hang in at the dead times, I'll shoor be there!}" "12";"11";"

From: AriesPhoenix 2/13/2004 12:43 am
To: Bloodgeon (11 of 126)

More like a gaurdian than an angel you are...anyway...I hope the second dog came home Ella

" "12";"12";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/13/2004 9:14 am
To: AriesPhoenix (12 of 126)

[Guardian aye. And neighbors will do sick things to people's pets as the lesser evil than actual direct and malicious act. A neighbor of Grandma's once stole their puppy and kitten and threw them in a hole, living, then poured concrete on them, they died buried alive, because soem folks are just too sick in the head to be around people or their pets. Her's to hoping I'be overestimated thse folks capacity for sheer senseless cruelty and your canine pal makes it back home.}

" "12";"13";"

From: ReeseElla 2/13/2004 9:56 am
To: Bloodgeon (13 of 126)

Thank you both, yes, all dogs are present and accounted for. I suspected the nappy neighbors because they are so ugly to me. I don't know if I ever posted it, but they despise me because I gave my pasture to my friends instead of them. Because their 40-year-old daughter is a cocaine addict and notorious thief, on probation right now, and the proceeds of everything she steals go right up her arm. I don't want her coming over here for any reason. A few years ago I offered to take her to a meeting with me any time, but of course she refused.

They have never done one neighborly thing where I'm concerned in all these years. They are two of the most miserable, bitter people in the world. But as long as they leave me alone, I'll leave them alone.

Now, let me take that quiz.

" "12";"14";"

From: ReeseElla 2/13/2004 10:00 am
To: Bloodgeon (14 of 126)

Well, I got an error message saying \"Page not available\", oh well.

" "12";"15";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/13/2004 10:44 am
To: ReeseElla (15 of 126)

{I'll check it out.}

" "12";"16";"From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/13/2004 10:49 am
To: Bloodgeon (16 of 126)

{Okay maybe a direct link will do, I read a little bit of the MyDoom worm messed with them a bit so they hda to limit certain things, like say ACCESSIBILITY! lol, anyways, try this one.}

NEW!! Which Angel are you?(pics for anyone/14 outcomes!!) - Quizilla


http://quizilla.com/users/Meka/quizzes/NEW!!%20Which%20Angel%20are%20you%3F(pics%20for%20anyone%5C14%20outcomes!!)" "12";"17";"

From: ReeseElla 2/13/2004 11:33 am
To: Bloodgeon (17 of 126)

\"yellow/gold Angel You are a happy angel and you love life Yes you have your up and downs but you look on the positive side, You enjoy life and you know what your goal in life is at first you weren't quit sure but now you know. Stay the way you are and life will be good to you\"

BOY, DO I HAVE THAT QUIZMAKER FOOLED! I'm a crabby ole woman!

" "12";"18";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/13/2004 10:59 pm
To: ReeseElla (18 of 126)

{Now who's being modest?}

" "12";"19";"

From: ReeseElla 2/14/2004 7:55 pm
To: Bloodgeon (19 of 126)

I'm not modest, just reality-oriented. The sweet ole lady that I show publicly is just a front for a cantankerous old Ellaphant! :P

" "12";"20";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/16/2004 10:53 am
To: ReeseElla (20 of 126)

{And inside me hides one angry raging bloodthirsty Manticore! Especially since I found out that www.christiancafe.com, the singles site for christians, oops the christian site fr singles, whatever THEY AINT GOT ANY SINGLE FEMALE CHRISTIANS OVER 65 IN ZIMBABWE! I mean, daaamn wha if was INTO that kinda thing? lmao!}

" "12";"21";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/18/2004 12:55 am
To: Bloodgeon unread (21 of 126)

{Okay that WAS a LITTLE weird, lol. Anyways, more Christian Humor for ya!}


E-mail message

Subject: Christianity section condom joke

Note: forwarded message attached.
---------------------------------
______________________________________________

-------Original Message-------

Subject: Fw: Staying healthy!!!!

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. \"Miss Bea,\" he said, \"I wonder if you would tell me about this?\" pointing to the bowl. \"Oh, yes,\" she replied, \"isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent the spread of disease. And you know I haven't had a cold
all winter!\"
**********************************************
**********************************************
______________________________________________

" "12";"22";"

From: ReeseElla 2/18/2004 9:26 am
To: Bloodgeon (22 of 126)

ROTFLM*O!!!!!

" "12";"23";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 2/18/2004 10:54 am
To: ReeseElla (23 of 126)

{lol.}

" "12";"24";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/18/2004 11:36 am
To: Bloodgeon (24 of 126)

[From City of Angeles, comes a song that sums it all up rather well for us little-known creatures who just want to be accepted for who (or what) we are!]

http://jewleelyn.com/tunage/ggdolls-iris.mid.gz

" "12";"25";"

From: ReeseElla 2/20/2004 4:43 pm
To: CryptoKnight (25 of 126)

Ratso rizzo! My Windows Media player told me, \"file format invalid.\" No idea what that means.....oh well.

" "12";"26";"

From: AriesPhoenix 2/20/2004 11:23 pm
To: ReeseElla (26 of 126)

They mostly work automatically via msn Ella Media player is a seperate type of link up to them

" "12";"27";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/21/2004 7:46 pm
To: AriesPhoenix (27 of 126)

[It doesnt work for me either, disregard that link. Hey did find a christian quote semi-related to relict hominids.

\"And the lord said unto her, Two nations are in the womb, and two manner of people shall be seperated from they bowels: ANd the one people shall be stronger than the other.\"

In the source using this biblical phrase one would be led to believe it was in reference to the struggle between Cromagnon and Neanderthal. The bible is so over-and-mis-interpretted I almost could'nt give a damn anymore, just another opinion on God an vision/interpretation/something. Churches are confused and confusing, and IMHO run by loudmouthed control freaks who psychologically and mentally couldnt keep up in the real world of real jobs/careers. and My Aunt is suggesting that would be good at this?!? I should be insulted, lol.]

" "12";"28";"

From: ReeseElla 2/24/2004 1:03 pm
To: CryptoKnight (28 of 126)

I think what your aunt means is that you'd make a great public speaker, Mant.

" "12";"29";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/24/2004 11:48 pm
To: ReeseElla (29 of 126)

[Whew, cause I can't see myself as a God salesman, when self sufficiency and faith in one creative source is a far more profitable sell. Downside is, gotta deal with the public, and seems like some days I'm totally against being in the public.]

" "12";"30";"

From: ReeseElla 2/27/2004 11:29 am
To: CryptoKnight (30 of 126)

Well, you deal with the public on your own site....just not in the F&B! Sometimes I feel so fat that I don't want to be in public view either, but I do it anyway. Whoever don't like it can look in another direction. :P

" "12";"31";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/27/2004 3:50 pm
To: ReeseElla (31 of 126)

[Aawh Ellaphants are my favorite Texas Cryptid then. I've rarely been seen too. Noone online can confirm whether those pictures are of me or a semifamous hollywood actor turned pro wrestler, lol]

" "12";"32";"

From: ReeseElla 2/29/2004 3:30 pm
To: CryptoKnight (32 of 126)

Well, at least you have the proper Christian humility, Mant! :P ROTFL!!!

" "12";"33";"From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/3/2004 10:06 pm
To: ReeseElla (33 of 126)

You are Revelation
You are Revelation.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla" "12";"34";"

From: AriesPhoenix 3/3/2004 10:23 pm
To: Bloodgeon (34 of 126)

Phew hahahahahaha

<img src=\"http://images.quizilla.com/R/reflectedgrace/1036812660_ktopromans.gif\" border=\"0\" alt=\"You Are Romans\" />
You are Romans.

<a href=\"http://quizilla.com/users/reflectedgrace/quizzes/Which%20book%20of%20the%20Bible%20are%20you%3F/\"> <font size=\"-1\">Which book of the Bible are you?</font></a>
<font size=\"-3\">brought to you by <a href=\"Quizillahttp://quizilla.com\">Quizilla</a></font>

" "12";"35";"From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/4/2004 4:32 am
To: AriesPhoenix (35 of 126)

Phew hahahahahaha
You Are Romans
You are Romans.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla" "12";"36";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/4/2004 4:36 am
To: Bloodgeon (36 of 126)

Use Staff Badge

Want to e-mail someone a copy of this post? (optional)

Check here if HTML tags are in the message (not including signature).

Post to the Message Board - all members can read it.
Reply via E-Mail - only \"To:\" person above can read it.

Check here if HTML tags are in the message (not including signature).
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" "12";"37";"

From: AriesPhoenix 3/4/2004 12:32 pm
To: Bloodgeon (37 of 126)

I do not have that on mine :P

" "12";"38";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/5/2004 4:47 am
To: AriesPhoenix (38 of 126)

{Dang, oh well just post em and I can go back and edit to Visible HTML translation then.}

" "12";"39";"

From: AriesPhoenix 3/5/2004 6:30 am
To: Bloodgeon (39 of 126)

Oh really? you'll do that for little old me? (hahahaha) Seriously though it is much appreciated :D

" "12";"40";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/6/2004 10:03 am
To: AriesPhoenix (40 of 126)

{Surely, as long as I know what it is and where, I can translate.}

" "12";"41";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 3/6/2004 6:55 pm
To: Bloodgeon (41 of 126)

[Something else they're getting stirred up about...]

Why Is The Passion of the Christ So Controversial?

Subject: The Film Is Bad for Jews, Worse for Christians

As we have been hearing for too many months, there is a good deal of alarm among Jewish audiences that Mel
Gibson's The Passion of the Christ will prove to be bad for the Jews. Now that the film, surely one of the most extravagantly over-heralded movies of the last several decades, has opened, there is confirmation enough of those fears to be seen by all. But that misses the point of what is really wrong with this film.

The Jews, of course, do not figure very favorably in the original Gospel narratives, and especially not in John, on which Gibson has drawn heavily. Gibson's claim all along has been that he means to offer a faithful representation of the Passion narrative as it appears in the New Testament, and this involves an implicit rejection of any high-minded revisionist efforts on the part of the Vatican to exculpate the Jews when the plain intent of the Gospels was to inculpate them. Thus the Jews throw stones at Jesus, as in John, and in all four Gospels, quite spectacularly, when Pilate tells them he has no case against Jesus and is prepared to free him, they shout, \"Crucify him, crucify,\" and Pilate is compelled to succumb to the demands of the blood-thirsty Jewish mob. In Matthew, he actually washes his hands in the presence of the crowd, announcing, \"My hands are clean of this man's blood.\"

Bent on fidelity, Gibson has incorporated all this in the film, but it should be said that he has also ratcheted everything up a couple of notches. Pilate comes across not merely as a hesitant, not altogether bad Roman official but as an eminently civilized man, reflective, fair-minded, disinclined to use violent measures, in the end constrained to act against his own better instincts by the brutal, vengeful Jews. (Pilate, who speaks Aramaic to the mob in the film, has a chance to engage in some Latin conversation with Jesus. Though the fluency in that language on the part of a Galilean carpenter may seem a little surprising, one must assume that divinity here trumps linguistic plausibility.) The lingering shots of the screaming, fist-shaking Jewish crowd are not likely to endear their descendants to Christian audiences, though perhaps this effect is somewhat mitigated by the fact that the High Priest and his ecclesiastical cronies, no doubt intended to appear vaguely rabbinical, actually look more like Greek Orthodox priests by the cut of their beards and the elegant design of their pseudo-sacerdotal costumes.

In any case, the hostility with which the Jews are drawn is not the fundamental problem of the film. The Roman soldiers, in fact, who torture Jesus and hammer him to the cross are even scarier, far outdoing the Jews in sheer physical brutality. I detect a certain anti-populist tilt in these images. You can be a Roman and a decent person if you happen to be a member of the aristocratic elite--Pilate, his wife, his chief military officer--but the simple foot soldiers are almost all vicious animals. On the Jewish side, the mob is nothing but ugly, and the priestly officials are a false elite, no more than a pompous extension of the savage mob. The only redeemable Jews, of course, are Jesus' loyal followers, who constitute a small, embattled spiritual elite.

If The Passion of the Christ is, inescapably, bad for the Jews (at an unfortunate moment, it should be said, when old anti-Semitic fires have been rekindled), it is worse for Catholicism and worst of all for film, at least as a medium for representing spiritual subjects. Gibson works from the first frame to the last on the assumption that cinematic truth is the truth of the literal physical image, and the result is altogether mind-numbing. The decision to do the dialogue, apart from a bit of Latin, in subtitled Aramaic, is driven by this same literalist notion of authenticity. The Aramaic is a mixed success, some of it a little garbled, including, of all things, the word for messiah, meshikha, pronounced here, in a conflation of the Hebrew, as meshiakha.

We get very little of the Passion story or of the Christ figure except the sheer, unspeakable physical suffering of the victim of the crucifixion. A bare indication in the Gospel text, \"Pilate now took Jesus and had him flogged,\" is turned into 15 minutes onscreen of nonstop beating with hideous barbed whips and worse.

The maceration of Jesus' flesh is so overdone that it becomes, as my companion at the movie remarked, a kind of barbecue-sauce version of the Suffering Servant. After all that, it is scarcely credible that Jesus is still conscious, not to say sufficiently erect to walk on the Via Dolorosa. Gibson in effect has given us an extreme concentration of the sadomasochistic element in Catholic iconography with most of the spirituality left out. One wonders, in fact, how film might go about seriously representing spirituality.

There surely must be some way to transcend this sheer wallowing in violence, counterpointed by old Hollywood cliches such as swelling choruses of sublime music on the soundtrack and panning shots of the sky with beams of sunlight breaking through the clouds.
Robert

Robert Alter teaches Hebrew and comparative literature at the University of California at Berkeley and has written on literary aspects of the ####. Stephen Prothero is the chairman of the Department of Religion at Boston University and is the author of American Jesus: How the Son of God Became a National Icon.

" "12";"42";"

From: ReeseElla 3/7/2004 4:56 pm
To: CryptoKnight (42 of 126)

Mine was Ephesians....but I'm sure not holy! Sheeeesshhh!

" "12";"43";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 3/8/2004 11:31 am
To: ReeseElla (43 of 126)

[I may be more godless than the pope's left little toenail, but I have read the #### straight through. and there's something for everyone in each book, hence so many different versions of the same darn story, lol.]

" "12";"44";"

From: Derkein 3/8/2004 4:48 pm
To: CryptoKnight unread (44 of 126)

Mine turned out to be Lamentations. How depressing. lol

" "12";"45";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/9/2004 10:44 am
To: Derkein (45 of 126)

{Here's something to cheer you both up!}

FW: A new Priest

Love, Light and Peace ...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, \" When I am worried about getting nervous
On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.\"
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the \"Big T.\"

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, \"take this and eat it for it is my body.\" He did not say \" Eat me\" .

12)The Virgin Mary is not called \" Mary with the Cher ry,.

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

" "12";"46";"

From: ReeseElla 3/10/2004 6:38 am
To: Bloodgeon (46 of 126)

Sounds like that preacher can't handle his liquor, so he better leave it alone from now on!

" "12";"47";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/10/2004 10:55 am
To: ReeseElla (47 of 126)

{Thank Gods that never happens, I hope? lol Grrr ticked-off-at-the-religious-right's invasion of government and subsequent control of freedom of speech and right to live how one pleases. Scary stuff.}

" "12";"48";"

From: ReeseElla 3/11/2004 9:57 am
To: Bloodgeon (48 of 126)

Could you be more specific, Mant? What you said could be mean any number of things that I have not paid any attention to.....

" "12";"49";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/11/2004 10:19 am
To: ReeseElla (49 of 126)

{Oh it's just the FCC cancellation of certain favorite radio shows, love him or hate him, Howard Stern's got some points. Bush has'nt really been the best of presidents, and it dont look like it's gonna get any better. The Church telling the White House telling the TV/Radio Industry what the can and cannot do is something I cannot abide! Is'nt this the same eligious persecution we claim to have escaped from in England way back? (glares and throws an american made teabag into the sink, a mini boston teaparty, and stomps off trying not to laugh at himself.) It's all silly to me, Bush and his holy mission.}

" "12";"50";"

From: ReeseElla 3/12/2004 3:48 pm
To: Bloodgeon (50 of 126)

Oh.

" "12";"51";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/12/2004 10:14 pm
To: ReeseElla (51 of 126)

{Yeah, when the Church gets to control the 1st amendment eeeek, run to the hills, lol.}

" "12";"52";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/13/2004 6:42 am
To: Bloodgeon (52 of 126)

*:-.,_,.-:*'``´*:-.,_,.-:*´``´*:-.,_,.-:*´``´*
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Ruth Ann decided it was time that her three sons get baptized. So, after weeks of suitable instruction one bright Sunday morning they were on their way to church where the three boys, 8, 9, and 11, would have their sins washed away. The 9 year old was particularly pensive that day, and when Ruth Ann asked him what he was thinking about, his reply was in the form of a question. \"Mom, may I go first?\" \"Why?\" \"Because, I don't want to be baptized in water that has all of my brother's sins floating around in it.\"
*:-.,_,.-:*'``´*:-.,_,.-:*´``´*:-.,_,.-:*´``´*
*:-.,_,.-:*'``´*:-.,_,.-:*´``´*:-.,_,.-:*´``´*

" "12";"53";"

From: ReeseElla 3/24/2004 1:34 pm
To: Bloodgeon (53 of 126)

I know a good baptism joke, but it shouldn't be on a public message board as it involves going to the bathroom, oh well.

" "12";"54";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/25/2004 6:40 am
To: ReeseElla (54 of 126)

{Poop, Doodie, Dookie, Doodoo, Ka-kah, Feces, Droppings, PostDigestive Wastematter, usedfood, Scat, Fecal matter are accepable, but who wants them? Urine, Wizz, Pee, Tinkles, sprinkles, spritzes, sprays, and all are acceptable subsitutes, if not write me a long note on toilet paper using a permanent marker, lol.}

" "12";"55";"

From: ReeseElla 3/30/2004 9:44 am
To: Bloodgeon (55 of 126)

Never mind. It involved two drunkards who got baptized in a commode in a church, and as they were leaving, they decided that the denomination of that church must have been \"Pisscopalian\". \"P

" "12";"56";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 3/31/2004 8:27 am
To: ReeseElla (56 of 126)

{lol, here's another piss joke for ya! Kinda explains the whole thing from the beginning...,}

Why do men pee standing up? God was just about done creating man, but
he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how
to split them between Adam and Eve.He thought He might just as well ask
them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would
allow the owner to pee while standing up. \"It's a very handy thing,\" God
told them, \"and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference
for it.\" Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, \"Oh, please give that
to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort
of thing a man should have.Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!\" On and on
he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled andtold God that if
Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the
thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just
started whizzin all over th e place - first on the side of a rock, then
he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could
hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while. God
and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, \"Well, I
guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left. \"What's it
called?\" asked Eve.

\"Brains\", said God

" "12";"57";"

From: ReeseElla 4/3/2004 3:24 am
To: Bloodgeon unread (57 of 126)

It's a cute joke..... but I absolutely abhor male-bashing, even if it's done by a guy. Whenever any of my female friends send me a male-bashing joke, ridiculing men, I just delete it without reading it once I see what it contains. Or I write them back, telling them to knock it off, because I find such \"humor\" grossly distasteful. I tell them not to send me anything else like that. Now, most of them don't.

Men and women are equally important and equally valuable, and any opinion should be formed about the individual, regardless of which gender. Women who promote such sick humor are, IMHO, hanging on to a resentment at some man or other in their own past, whom they chose out of their own dysfunctional way of life, and it makes them look so bad as human beings, not just as women, that they become disgusting in every respect. Case closed.

Well, I'm getting cranky, so see ya later. Ellafink out.

" "12";"58";"

From: AriesPhoenix 4/3/2004 4:16 am
To: ReeseElla (58 of 126)

Wow Ella :S so if i told you the humourous side of the female quirk you would shun me too?... funny is funny...we are all equally able to enable ourselves... some of us use humour to enlighten the next generation that there are still differences of thinking via sarcasm...men think differently from women...science fact...and i am laughing i'm a woman that thinks closer to the male psyche so most women shun me...when men jest that they mostly think of food , cars, comfort and etc it actually is a fact...the majority of women still want to help them find that and the man wants it ( now it gets heavily confusing) because he's 'earned' it the hard part for both sex's is understanding that if she's working too it means it's a team. It comes down to the crunch every generation we are here...how much value is life and love? and each of us decide what we want to learn

..so enlightening both sides of their right as a human to 'choose' is hard...but laughter also works it's charms to make some see that things can be fixed...every message told is a message to self Ella, i'm forever reminding myself of the differences between my actual thinking and males thinking (helps that my real male brain friends think back at me)...but women and men are different...we are equal but we are different...and sometimes humour gives that extra lacking insight that makes people like my Great Aunt stay married to my Great Uncle for going on 63 years as they now keep each other alive...love and light Ella

" "12";"59";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/3/2004 8:05 pm
To: Bloodgeon unread (59 of 126)

---------------------------------
----- Original Message -----
ANOTHER 40 YEARS

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the
hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked \"Is my time up?\"

God said, \"No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have
a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come
in and change her hair colour.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, \"I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the
ambulance?\"
( You'll love this!!!) ..

God replied, \"I didn't recognize you.\"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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____________________________________________________

" "12";"60";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 4/4/2004 10:58 am
To: ReeseElla (60 of 126)

[Ah I don't let the manbashing get to me, I reconcile myself with they either do it because they're single, or single because they do it, lol. Well, that's a harsh assesment or assumption anyways. I think what makes Gender so cool is that we are different, I mean, we see things differently, and the key to smoothing over all of that is laughing at our own absurd beliefs about eachother. You can look at a joke like that and maybe think of any certain somebody, but never generalize. People are way to diverse for even God to categorize, hence why he/she/it lets us be different.]

[Yeah I know, I said the God word, I profess to an understanding as close as I can allow myself, without going back to the Dark Ages, of the Idea that there's someone or two or three or more, that is'nt gonna burn us to a crisp if we cuss on a sunday, but still watches us using our gift of free choice to find our way to him and what comes after our last breaths.]

" "12";"61";"

From: ReeseElla 4/4/2004 1:54 pm
To: CryptoKnight (61 of 126)

I went through a period of my life that lasted years, after my second divorce, in which I truly hated men and believed they have no feelings and that they only want one thing: To hurt women. Now I understand that it was a survival skill that I no longer have any use for. I realized that about four years ago, and while I sure don't want any R-word (\"relationship\", as they're calling it now), I finally realized that when forming my opinion of someone, it should be on an individual basis and not based on gender. It's easier to believe that all men are evil, exploitative brutes than to admit that my experience of them had been based on my own dysfunctional choices. A lot of guys feel the same about women as I used to feel about men, and their opinion is equally invalid and mistaken.

But oh, how I used to rant and rave against the guys like a terminally broken record, and I shudder to think of how it must have sounded to sane human beings. That's why I hate to hear male-bashing, even as a joke.

Even though I'm too old and set in my ways to have any desire for a man in my life at this point, I do love men. They have always distracted my heart. Why, some of my best friends are men, and yes, I WOULD like my daughter to marry one. In fact, she is now engaged to marry a fine young man who thinks as much of her as she thinks of herself, and vice versa. They have not set a date, but sometime around the first of the coming year. Better her than me. :P

" "12";"62";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/5/2004 10:48 am
To: ReeseElla (62 of 126)

It took me forever to get the Mrs to trust me, she's been burnt to a crisp by coldhearted male types, and here I am been brainfried by most female authority figures in my family and all.

How we manage is we lump it all together as US and THEM, and some of them aint all that bad, so instead of being judged, we do the judging, lol. ere's another joke, this one a little less edgy.

---------------------------------
__________________________________----- Original Message -----
A Rabbi, a Minister and a Wiccan Priestess…

A rabbi, a Unitarian Universalist minister, and a Wiccan priestess decided to go on a fishing trip together. They went down to their local lake, rented a boat, and went out on to the lake for a day of fishing.

As the afternoon approached, the trio got hungry—and realized that they left their lunches on the shore of the lake.

The minister got out of the boat, walked across the lake, got his lunch, walked back, and sat down to eat his lunch.

\"You should have gotten all of our lunches!\" scolded the priestess. She then got up, walked across the lake, picked up her lunch as well as the rabbi's, walked back across the lake, and sat down, handing the rabbi his afternoon meal.

The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind, his eyes wide with shock. He manages to sputter, \"Wha... what... how did you...?\"

The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and asks \"Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?\"

The priestess looks at the minister, raises an eyebrow, and replies \"What rocks?\"

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky.
It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites.

As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.

" "12";"63";"

From: ReeseElla 4/9/2004 8:00 am
To: Metaphorm I (63 of 126)

Hee hee, I never mind religious jokes....I bet Jesus would see the humor in the one about the \"Piscopalian church\".

" "12";"64";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/10/2004 10:50 am
To: ReeseElla (64 of 126)

Son of God or Not, he displayed very human traits, remember when he unleashed his wrath at those moneychangers? He went ballistic about the church taking money in the name of God. Good thing that practice has ceased, NOT! They're still at it. Oh well. if and when he returns, there'll be Hell to pay, literally, after all Money's the Circulation of Satan, and the Heartbeat of Hell, but damn I could sure use a transfusion, lol.

" "12";"65";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 4/11/2004 5:58 pm
To: ALL (65 of 126)

Happy Easter To All!

----- Original Message -----
A while ago I tried to write some poetry/songs. Here is a spiritual one that the group might like. I hear it with a waltz
melody....
I can't read or write music :-)
************
Twice A Day
by Rebecca Strecker 01/11/02

Twice a day,
God sends us His pictures.

At dawn's early moments,
and at twilight time at night.

Twice a day,
God sends us his pictures.

A reminder of His blessings,
in the form of brilliant light.

If your heart is heavy,
with troubles and pain.

If you can't see the answers,
or shelter from the rains.

Remember to look up above twice a day.
at God's reassurance that help is on the way.

Twice a day,
look up at God's pictures.

Take the time to remember,
that you are not alone.

Twice a day,
look up at God's pictures.

It is something you can do,
whether you are small or grown.

Look at the gifts,
He's bestowed without your prayer.

The song of a bird,
as it glides along the air.

A place to rest your head,
when you need to sleep.

The memories of loved ones,
for your heart to keep.

And twice a day,
God sends us His pictures.

At dawn's early moments,
and at twilight time at night.

Twice a day,
God sends us His pictures.

A reminder of His blessings,
in the form of brilliant light.

A reminder of His blessings,
in the form of brilliant light.

" "12";"66";"

From: ReeseElla 4/12/2004 8:12 am
To: Bloodgeon (66 of 126)

What a fine poem by Rebecca!

Mant, anything in this world that we obsess about is self-destructive, be it money, alcohol, other drugs, food, social positon, people, what other people think....you name it. I wouldn't say no to a $ transfusion either, but enough is as good as a feast. :)

" "12";"67";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 4/12/2004 10:50 am
To: ReeseElla (67 of 126)

{Totally, money may be the root of all evil, but I'm not lying to a congregation aout it's uses then buying a bigscreen TV. Ever see the inside of some Reverend's houses? I did one! Posh, rich, stylish, sickening. i'LL take all that without tha having t pontificate, lol.}

" "12";"68";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/13/2004 12:39 am
To: Bloodgeon unread (68 of 126)

E-mail message
---------------------------------
__________________________________----- Original Message -----
Subject: Fw: The Lost Chapter Of Genesis

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, \"What's wrong with you?\"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, \"This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will
praise you!

She will bear your children.
and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

\"She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.\"

Adam asked God, \"What will a woman like this cost?\"

God replied, \"An arm and a leg.\"

Then Adam asked, \"What can I get for a rib?\"

Of course the rest is history......................
____________________________________________________

" "12";"69";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/14/2004 9:32 am
To: Metaphorm I (69 of 126)

Help Us Remember
Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity.
Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.
- Author Unknown

Pray for D.J.J.
Young father has been in Iraq for 12 months and will be there for at least six more

" "12";"70";"

From: ReeseElla 5/2/2004 9:55 am
To: Metaphorm I (70 of 126)

One definition of sin is the inability to empathize. As for the homeless man on the corner, I used to be enslaved to the same addictions that he still is. Unfortunately, the Program is not for those who need it but for those who want it. All the need in the world can't motivate anyone to make that phone call or check out that meeting. You have to believe that a better life is possible, and have the ambition to get it....and the desire to stop drinking and/or using in order to get out of the h*ll you are in. We can't do that for anybody, it has to come from the person who is suffering from the addiction.

Well, speaking of that, gotta get off and get ready to go--not to church, but to my 11:00 meeting in Rosenberg at the Club. That is church to me and far better than any church service I've ever attended in terms of unconditional love and spiritual help. JMO. Later dude....

P. S. Haste does make waste...edditted for typoes and mispeled wrods.

" "12";"71";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 5/3/2004 10:47 am
To: ReeseElla (71 of 126)

God didnt give us free choice only to totally control us.

God may have built the planet, but as responsible guests or tenants shoud'nt we be taking better care of it?

Gdo deosnt liek some typos, Dog takes offesne at soem of them.

lol jk have a great day all.

" "12";"72";"

From: ReeseElla 5/14/2004 7:21 pm
To: Metaphorm I (72 of 126)

God isn't the one who tries to control us, Mant. It's people who are hyper-religious control freaks. IMO, we are here to do God's work, not His job. Some people just don't know the difference.

" "12";"73";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 5/15/2004 10:35 am
To: ReeseElla unread (73 of 126)

I'll do the work I do and let God label it. lol. Man's first laws from God included Judge Not lest ye be judged yourself. Even if a person thinks God does'nt like so and so, it's not for them to put word's in the creator's mouth. We were given mouths so we could speak our own minds.

" "12";"74";"

From: AluminusKann Staff 6/2/2004 1:04 pm
To: ALL (74 of 126)

>IMHAO, There are too many versions of the Bible, and they are'nt doing too well either, take a look!<

Today's question:Funny Bibles
Well, there is a brisk trade in misprinted (errant, the printed version of the idea of infallibility is inerrancy) Bibles.

I've listed some of the most famous (should I say infamous?) below, with the gaffes that made them so funny to us bibliophile types.

The \"Charing Cross Bible\" and the \"Buggre Alle This Bible\", mentioned in Pratchett and Gaiman's hilarious 'Good Omens' book, do not actually exist, sadly. It would have made Sunday school a lot more fun.

The Orange Catholic Bible, also doesn't exist anyplace but in Frank Herbert's Dune novels. However, any book that's holiest commandment is \"Thou shalt not disfigure the soul\" doesn't seem to bad, either.I was arguing with someone about the infallibility of the Bible. They said that the Bible is always right and every word is sacred. I say that's not true. What do you think?The Most famous Misprints:

The Breeches Bible, 1560 Adam and Eve \"sowed figge-tree leaves together and made themselves breeches\" (Genesis 3:7)

The Bug Bible, 1535 \"Thou shalt not need to be afrayd for eny bugges by night\" (Psalm 91:5)

The Denial Bible, 1792 The name Philip is substituted for Peter as the apostle who would deny Jesus. (Luke 22:34)

The Discharge Bible, 1806 \"I discharge theee... that thou observe these things\", instead of \"I charge thee\"

The Ears to Ear Bible, 1810 \"Who hath ears to ear, let him hear\" (Matt 13:43)

The Fool Bible (Unknown) \"the fool hath said in his heart there is a God\" [instead of no God]. The printers wher fined 3,000 pounds and all copies were supressed. (Psalm 14:1)

The Judas Bible, 1611 reads \"Judas\" instead of \"Jesus\".( Matthew 26:36)

The Idle Shepherd Bible, 1809 \"idol shepherd\" printed as \"the idle shephard\" (Zechariah 11:17)

The Large Family Bible, 1820 \"Shall I bring to birth and not cease to bring forth?\" for \"for cause to bring forth\"( Isaiah 66:9)

The Lions Bible, 1804 \"The murderer shall surely be put together\" instead of \"to death\" (Num. 25:18)

And\"…but thy son that shall come forth out of thy lions…\" instead of \"out of thy loins\"(Kings 8:19)

The More Sea Bible, 1641 \"the first heaven and the first earth were passed away and there was more sea.\" Instead of \"…there was no more sea.\"

The Murderers Bible, 1801\"These are murderers, complainers...\", instead of \"murmurers\" (Jude 16)

The Placemakers Bible, 1562\" Blessed are the placemakers\" instead of peacemakers (Matt 5:9)

The Printers' Bible, 1702\"Printers have persecuted me without a cause\", instead of \"princes\" (Psalm 119:161)

The Rebekah's Camels Bible, 1823\"Rebekah arose, and her camels\", instead of \"her damsels\" (Genesis 24:61)

The Sin On Bible, 1716\"Go and sin on more\" instead of \"sin no more.\" (John 5:14)

The Standing Fishes Bible 1806\"And it shall come to pass that the fishes shall stand on it\" instead of \"fishers\" (Ezekiel 47:10)

The Sting Bible, 1746 \"straightway his ears were opened, and the sting of his tongue was loosed, and he spake plain.\" Instead of \"and the string of his tongue was loosed \"(Mark 7:35)

The To Remain Bible 1805 \"he that was born after the flesh persecuted him that was born after the spirit to remain, even so it is now\" (Galations 4:29) (A proofreader queried a comma after 'the spirit' and the editor pencilled in \"to remain\")

The Treacle Bible, Bishops Bible \"Is there no tryacle in Gilead?\" instead of \"Is there no balm in Gilead?\" (Jeremiah 8:22)

The Unrighteous Bible, 1653 \"the unrighteous shall inherit the kingdom of god\" instead of \"the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of god\" (1 Corinth 6:9)

and \"Neither yield ye your members as instruments of righteousness unto sin\", instead of \"unrighteousness\" (Romans 6:13)

The Vinegar Bible 1717The heading in Luke 20 reads \"Parable of the Vinegar\" instead of \"Vineyard\"

The Wicked Bible, Adulterous Bible, 1632 the word \"not\" was omitted from the seventh commandment. (Ex. 20:14)

The Wife-hater Bible, 1810 \"If any man come to me, and hates not his father... and his own wife also\", instead of \"his own life\". (Luke 14:26)

" "12";"75";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 8/31/2004 12:52 am
To: ALL (75 of 126)

Subject: Forest Gump goes to heaven

AMEN to all of us who look at life a little differently...........

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, \"Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.

I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.\"

Forrest responds, \"It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But ain't nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.\"

St. Peter goes on, \"Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions:

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?\"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, \"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.\"

Forrest says, \"Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin
with the letter \"T\"?

Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.\"

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, \"Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?\" asks St. Peter. \"How many seconds in a year?\"

Now that one's harder,\" says Forrest,\"but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.\"

Astounded, St. Peter says, \"Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?\" Forrest says \"Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . .\"

\"Hold it,\" interrupts St. Peter.
\"I see where you're going with this, and I see your point,though that wasn't quite what I had in mind..... but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name\"?

\"Sure\" Forrest replied, \"its Andy.\"

ANDY!!!!!,exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. \"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name ANDY as the first name of God?\"
\"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,\" Forrest replied. \"I learnt it from the song. . . .

\"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...\"

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said:

\"RUN,FORREST,RUN!!!!\"

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folks.
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!

" "12";"76";"

From: toade 8/31/2004 7:55 pm
To: Stargoyle (76 of 126)

haaahaaaahaaaaaaaah... lol.

" "12";"77";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 12/25/2004 12:08 am
To: ALL (77 of 126)

Thought this was kind of funny. Thought I would share. I hope you enjoy.

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone \"brother\"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:


1. He went into His Fathers business.

2. He lived at home until he was 33.

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he
was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a
Californian:

1. He never cut his hair.

2. He walked around barefoot all the time.

3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all---3 proofs that Jesus was a
woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who
just didn't get it.

3. And even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was
more work to do

" "12";"78";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 3/25/2005 12:12 am
To: ALL (78 of 126)

(Image no longer exists)

(Happy Easter Everyone!)

" "12";"79";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 3/27/2005 5:35 pm
To: ALL (79 of 126)

The top 16 signs God is appearing on your TV

\"See Rabbi Schwartz, Father Flanagan, and Master Yogi in a theological grudge match in the Steel Confessional of Death in Biblemania XIV!\" *YOgi's got my vote, Go Yogi, break a Commandment over his head!!!*

That \"John 3:16\" guy at the football game is now holding a sign saying \"Channel 5, right now!\" *Eek!*

The Weather Channel broadcasting 24-hour a day \"Ark Advisory.\" *40days and 40nights, remember?*

Bearded guy in the window outside \"The Today Show\" keeps sending telepathic messages. *I get that all the time, hasn't anyone tried to help the poor fellow?*

NBC starts plugging \"THOU SHALT SEE TV\" *And another reason I don't watch NBC, or FOX, or any other of them stations!*

That older gentleman announcing the new \"Fig Leaf Policy\" on the Playboy channel ain't Hef. *Cack, tree of knowledge anyone?*

At last, somebody smote those idiotic Mentos commercials!! *HEY! I LIKE THOSE DEMENTOS COMMERCIALS!*

Guest on Entertainment Tonight squashes James Cameron like a bug, raises arms and exclaims, \"No, *I'm* the king of the world!\" *Sounds like that Zagretronian.*

MTV's Vatican Spring Break '98 *Watch the Pope shake that moneymaker, get down with your good self, padre'!*

Maximum possible Jeopardy score: $783,200. Contestant who looks like George Burns: $700,000 and climbing. *Oh God, You Millionaire!*

Flurry of white people sighted on UPN and WB networks. *Oh My God! An infestation of CRACKERS!*

Jerry Springer only gets out the words \"Today our topic is...\" before he bursts into flames. *For once I agree on this point, YAY!!!*

For sixth straight day, \"Kenny G. live from Branson\" cancelled due to technical difficulties. *Again, YAY!*

When Oprah says \"My next guest wrote his bestselling book thousands of years ago, and he hasn't been seen in public since,\" she ain't talking about Salinger! *Uhuhm, but for one little thing, God and Jesus didnt Write the bible..,*

Your first two clues? Mohammed as sidekick and Buddha as bandleader. *???*

and the Number 1 Sign God is Appearing on Your TV...

Normally standoffish Amish family from down the street drops by with a bundt cake and a bottle of Amaretto. *Yep, that'd just about signal the end.*

" "12";"80";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 4/2/2005 9:08 pm
To: ALL (80 of 126)

*An Experiment in Translating this from Italian and Back proved very interesting!*
Translation › Translated Text
In English:
In Italian: The world reacts to pass of John Paul II many Muslims the hope successor that continues exceeds clear candles to the tailandesi children Non-Cattolici di Chaiwat Subprasom/Reuters for Pope John Paul II during the mass to the presupposed church of in the province of Phuket, approximately 536 miles of south of Bangkok, the saturday. Mourning Pope faithful The of the world ricordisi of the head of the catholic church. The NBC, MSNBC and Pope John Paul II of news services are give pain you through the world the saturday, from its earth born them of the Polonia to the square of st Peter of the somber and to the countries in which?ransformato in in the first one pontiff visiting. Poich?uo election of surprise in 1978, John Paul has travelled the world, inspiring one putsch against the comunismo in its Polonia born them and through the Soviet block, but also preaching against the consumismo, the contraception and l abortion. After l announcement, the Italian Vatican and small flags have been elsewhere lower you to the met?ersonale through Rome and. To Washington, the small flags over the House White woman moreover have been lowered to met?ersonale. the all tact like orphans the this evening, undersecretary of Declare l Archbishop that Leonardo Sandri has said to the crowd of 70.000 that had re-united under the still-illuminated windows dell apartment of the Pope. Poles cry to news people in John Paul whom hometown of the II in Polonia?aduto to theirs ginocchia and that it has I plant while the news of its dead women has caught up them all estremit?i a special mass in the church in which it has adored like boy. Lech Walesa of the Polonia, that it has lead the movement of solidariet?he it has helped the comunismo of overthrow and has been well to a friend close of the pontiff, has noticed its historical importance, [ without of he ] l?arebbe conclusion of comunismo or at least a lot pi?uccessivamente and l estremit?arebbe be bleeding. Dice of Pope John Paul II to 84 journalists of the citizen of the vigilance of Vatican: In the Bush president of memoriam the united culvert It declares in the pain of the Pope who says that a good and faithful servant of the?tato God called center. Bush, than is believed that it travelled to Rome for the funeral, adding, the catholic church has lost the relative one shepherd. The world has lost a champion of the libert?mana. The politicians through the phantom have hailed the pontiff. Sen. Edward Kennedy democratic has said that the Pope has made the people inspired of all great the objective faith us and pi?icino all of peace on earth, while the Frist invoice of the Head of majority of the senate has described it like man of the great that was vigorous and?gganciata conscience with many editions that interest the church and the Comunit?el world. The Muslims hope for continuit?el method for some, the efforts of the Pope of the Pope contributed to avoid a discord of the civilizzazioni that many feared scopperebbero after 11 september 2001, attacks from Muslim that the militants on the joined one Declares. Clerics the ordinary Muslims, theologians and the many Muslims say its race to pi?i 20 countries Muslims, its efforts to promote the dialogue, its demands for peace in the Saint earth and its opposition to the wars nell Afghanistan and Irak endeared he to many Muslims. Hour, the Muslims will watch a lot carefully in order to see if the Pope following continuous the dialogue interfaith that John Paul condutto. the successor of the Pope must continue that what this Pope has begun, Mahmoud Hamdi Zakzouk, minister dell Egypt of the religious equipments, saying to Reuters. this would eventually contribute to peace its successory ones will continue its politics of generation to understand and cooperation being left over with the Muslims, has said Zaki Badawi, main dell universit?usulmana de London, adding its successes would be hard to bind together. you see, you think it in Latin America, center to pi?ella met?ei catholics roman of the world, the remembered John of faithful Paul like figure that has fought for social justice and hope capacity to the poor one just while they are themselves gives pain to you to its dead women the saturday. The hundreds have re-united to Basilica de Mexico City di Guadalupe, the spiritoso heart of the country, many in breaches. Under a statue of the Pope, chanted you they see it, you think it: the?resente Pope! Silva of gives of the president Luiz Inacio Lula of Brasi them, pi?rande the catholic country of the world, as an example in one declaration: the rich job and multifaceted realized Pope, stiffener the hope of a world of justice and libert?Lula has said that the Pope had undertaken one untiring fight for the dignit?mana, the dialogue tried between the different cultivations and the religions. Brasi have declared they seven days of pain. The Pope has often travelled in Latin America during its 26 years poich?a head of the catholic church and of he he was popular, but to times debatable. In the political sphere, it has made tacere the priests radical that has parteggiato for the poor one in the fights against the governments repressed to you in years 80. Its rigid political against the contraception moreover have been opposite from some in a region where much poor people fight for feeding the great families. PI?DALL EREDIT of news appreciation of NBC of POPE JOHN PAUL II. The world gives pain itself to pass of Pope John Paul II. Vigilance Di Vatican: The dead women of a Pope. The world reacts to pass of John Paul II. NBC news appreciation. Journalists Of The Citizen: The readers remember themselves of. Testimonial: Moral voice for peace, justice. Taken of the shelter in Christ. Newsweek: Final weeks of the Pope. John Paul II and comunismo. A Pole reflects on its Pope. Front L eredit?el NBC of. of Pope John Paul II Section it is remembered of that Pope NBC remembers of Pope John Paul II. of NBC news the Jim Avila of the NBC American of the catholics and the Pope on the ties between the catholics Americans and the Pope. of NBC news that catches up beyond the John catholics Paul caught up outside to the Hebrew and the Muslims. Ron Allen of the NBC of attempt of Murder of. of NBC news Paul watches behind on the attempt on Pope John. of life of II the Kevin Tibbles of the NBC of race of the Pope on immense the race of Pope John Paul II. . of NBC news Pope John Paul II of first years has judged one forged sideboard suffering experimented in Polonia. Relationships of Jim Maceda of the NBC. The projection of diapositive that Mourning Pope faithful The of the world remembers itself of the head of the catholic church. INTERACTIVE Picking one look of the Pope To to like a new Pope?celto. Historical point of view of the papacy of A of projection of diapositive a timeline of the photographies that measure the life of Pope John Paul II.

" "12";"81";"

From: Aqrn I 4/2/2005 9:46 pm
To: Stargoyle (81 of 126)

um, that's most definitely not italian. lol.

" "12";"82";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 4/2/2005 11:43 pm
To: Aqrn I (82 of 126)

*It's actually not, not anymore, It's English to Italian and back, with the Babel Fish glurbling it's return to English somewhat. I figured the Vatican is in Rome, and Rome is in Italy, and well, this one got lost in translation in more ways than one, LoL!*

" "12";"83";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 5/28/2005 9:05 pm
To: ALL (83 of 126)

Once again, coming at you all with more refreshing heresy and uplifting blasphemy, not for the strong of faith:

Was the right man named Pope?

As I understand it, Ratzinger was not the Cardinal's first choice.

That was, interestingly, Cardinal Hans Grapje.

Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man he was a seminarian who aspired to become a priest; but instead joined the RAF during WWII and spent two years as a Spitfire pilot until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm.

Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain in a POW camp giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.
After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent. In 1997, Archbishop Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in.

Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rights to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye.

The high silver content in the mine's air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.

Although the now Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders felt that he should never ascend to the Papacy.
They felt that the Church would never accept a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader

" "12";"84";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 9/29/2005 11:26 pm
To: ALL (84 of 126)

E-mail message
Subject: Heaven
Welcome to Heaven
Einstein dies and goes to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter
tells him, \"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths
that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really
are?\"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, \"Could I have a blackboard
and some chalk?\"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly
appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols
his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. \"You really ARE
Einstein!\" he says. \"Welcome to heaven!\"

The next to arrive is Picasso.

Once again, Saint Peter asks for
credentials. Picasso asks, \"Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?\"

Saint Peter says, \"Go ahead.\"

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a
truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps.

\"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!\" he says. \"Come on in!\"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush

Saint Peter scratches his head and says, \"Einstein and Picasso both managed
to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?\"

George W. looks bewildered and says, \"Who are Einstein and
Picasso?\"

Saint Peter sighs and says, \"Come on in, George.\"

" "12";"85";"

From: Mulsknr1 10/8/2005 4:13 pm
To: Stargoyle (85 of 126)

thatsa good one

" "12";"86";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 10/8/2005 6:23 pm
To: ALL (86 of 126)

CindeRose: Hey Meta we lost you! Carlson is telling the Minors story

Metaphorm must be running on small cache today...,
Metaphorm: Miners?

Carlson6: What they heard changed the atheist's mind forever on the existence of hell.
Carlson6: The miners were so frightened they couldn't go back.
Carlson6: No, there are frequent references to hell in the Bible as
being located in the center of the Earth.
Carlson6: They heard the sounds of hell.
Carlson6: Do you know Jacques Cousteau, the famous underwater explorer?

Carlson6: When he was underwater in a cave, he also heard the sounds of
hell.

Carlson6: People have died and gone to hell, but came back to tell their
story.

Metaphorm: Near Hell Experiences.
Metaphorm: Like Dante's Inferno.

Carlson6: Yes, just like Dante's Inferno.

Metaphorm: Abandon all hope all ye who enter here.
Metaphorm: Funny thing is I thought it was just being used as a poem, or
epic, but satanists and demonologists make use of alot of the structure and imagery.
Metaphorm: ?

Carlson6: There did exist a giant race of people at one time.

Metaphorm: The Nephelim

Carlson6: They were the angels kicked out of heaven.

CindeRose: Jews talk of Lillith

Metaphorm: There were giants in the earth in this days.

Carlson6: They actually found the bones of giants.
Carlson6: Hold on one minute while I get my \"hell\" paper.

Metaphorm: Gigantopithicus Blackii, maybe, and some christains believe Sasquatch are the demon offspring of nephelim.

CindeRose: I wanted to name a daughter of mine Lillith

Metaphorm: Some people way back saw elephant skulls as being the skulls
of giant humans and cyclops.
Metaphorm: becauseof the shape and the central orifice where the nasal
cavity was.
Metaphorm: It was a dark and story night....

Carlson6: Ok, I have the title of the website. Sometime tonight look it
up and tell me what you think. There are also stories of people who have gone to hell and lived to tell about it.
http://amightywind.com/hell/aboutsounds.htm

Metaphorm: when saw an Elephant, no wait it was a giant.

" "12";"87";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 3/1/2006 4:55 pm
To: ALL (87 of 126)

Authors claim 'Da Vinci Code' stole ideas - BOOKS - MSNBC.com
Address: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11589138/

*This is an attempt to derail the production of a movie based on this book already a worldwide bestseller. The Christains are running scared, scrambling to defend their beliefs, and the validity of everything in the good book, catholics especially. There was another thread on this started by DaVinciDamse but I can't find it, lol.*

" "12";"88";"

From: Mulsknr1 3/1/2006 9:57 pm
To: Stargoyle (88 of 126)

Its just a lot of hub bub. , I thought it was all fiction, No such thing as an original idea. all this does is drag another source into the controversy against the catholic church, and I think its more Hype than, actuall anger and protest from the catholic church. Its all designed to get people to say , whats all the hub bub. besides what the hell does dan brown care or hollywood if they have to settle out of court for a couple of million to the guy who they stole it from as long as they get the benifit of the negative advertising. There is more energy spent on creating problems in this world where there are none.

The whole schism between science and chritianity is a good example. and intelligent design. Its apples and oranges. In my mind, and its a fine mind, Chrtistianity or should say \"God\" will never be science , or vicE verA. True faith is not based on facts and figures nor is it based on fairy tales. Everyone needs to chill out, and have pause for thought about what god and life are about for them. Thats where organized religion loses me. If you want to talk about immorality, thats another thing, and I think it has been proven there are \"Bad Actors\" acting badly, on both sides of the isle. I think that it is good to believe in something larger than yourself. there aren't to many more challenging things in this world than that. However, I find it hard to understand why anyone would get upset about it. I think the fairy tales in christianity were important as a tool to teach complex ideas about life. Ideas that maybe we could not comprehend as children. ideas and allegories, based on lives of real men, and women. And I think the \"illuminati\" is just as guilty of attacking christians as heritics, by trying to simplify and reduce the concepts to \" bad entertainment\" I also think the church has gone out of its way to try and foul up the \"supreme logic\" of science. Science is just one side of the equation to me. The real problem is that people themselves Are seduced by the ideas of one or the other , and stop using their commom sense, they stop believing in themselves and there beliefs. Who's to say. Science is a tool for creating order where there is chaos. so is God. No matter who you ask I think they might aggree , there are just somethings that can't be explained. I don't consider that proof. I just think it is an example of our limitations, as human beings. Eventually we will explain it all, and yet that will not negate the existance of god. Apples and Oranges, don't get me started!

" "12";"89";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 3/2/2006 4:22 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (89 of 126)

*I do believe in but a few things larger than myself and of officially unsubstantiated value. And they are, Sasquatch, the Scorpio Constellation, the Paranormal, the Validity of All mythologies, somewhere out there in the infinite everything there is a race or two of transforming robots, a universe where a different version of us is Living all those wishes getting all those wants and finding all those perfect loves that to me would be heaven. You look at a house, you talk to a person, you ogle a hot sportscar, and you what if that was mine. I think I got more Wishes than Faith, but 'm not so naive as to think I'll get any of them by clasping my hands and whispering reverently, seems insane to me. But we live on a crazy planet.*

" "12";"90";"

From: Mulsknr1 3/2/2006 5:48 pm
To: Stargoyle (90 of 126)

I see you are much more alive than I am my freind, since I have stopped wanting for anything , a long long time ago. I sometimes say things I think sound pretty good, but I am full of shit.

" "12";"91";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 3/3/2006 5:11 pm
To: ALL (91 of 126)

*My key was to forge for myself my own personal mythology, the core of my own so called being above any and all gods and beings whose values I could emulate. I start to think the key to all religions is unifying all those archetypes of each pantheon and each worthy applicable statute of all the other religions and making it your own. In that way we remake ourselves in the image of the Godself most true to Ourself. This seperation and categorization, imposition of right religion and wrong religion nobody can seem to agree on is actually fracturing the whole of everyone's total and true potential. Maybe a bit like wearing only one sock when a whole outfit that's totally us lies forgotten on the floor. One of my Aunts said I should have considered a career as a man of the Cloth, and I have... Denim. Irreverend Stargoyle, Holy Arm of the Metaphorm, the guiding darkness in false lights, and general all around goofball at your service, lol.*

" "12";"92";"

From: Aqrn I 3/4/2006 2:59 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (92 of 126)

Me says: live and let live. Other people have said: live and let live. Me likes the quote: live and let live.

Davinci Code book? Go ahead, write your heart out! Davinci Code movie? You're making money, good for you! Church unhappy? What else is new? Complain away!

God, to me, is what explains the things that I with my finite thoughts and imagination can't explain. God has somehow made up something infinite, and I can't fathom that, so it's just one of those god things. I don't know if there is a heaven or hell. I think that we make our own heaven and/or hell in life, and after that... I only hope there is more. Yeah, my faith is hope.

And btw, you all with no hope, no faith, no nice things in your lives, little or no happiness: I would just like to say that I have it all. :)

I have a place that is my home, and it is with the man I love and could not live without. I have two cats that entertain me and entertain themselves by making me clean up their poop, but we're all happy that way. I also have family outside of my home that would help me out with the nothing they have should I ever need help.

I owe about $15,000 to the gov't for my education that got me nowhere. My hubby-to-be will owe at least twice that. I gots me own health problems that keep my home, all warm and safe from the big bad outside. I have my computer, and bills paid for at least this month and two more.

I'm happy with my life and I couldn't be happier!

" "12";"93";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 3/13/2006 5:45 pm
To: ALL (93 of 126)

E-mail message
>
>Subject: No fishin'
>
>A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the
>subject and after finally getting all the necessary tools together,
>she made for the ice.
>
> After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a
>circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
>
> \"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.\"
>
> Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos
>of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the
>heavens the voice bellowed,
>
> \"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.\"
>
> The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end
>of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut
>her hole.
>
> The voice came once more,
>
> \"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.\"
>
> She stopped, looked skyward, and said,
> \"IS THAT YOU
>LORD?\"
>
> The voice replied,
>
> \"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK
>
>_________________________________________________________________

" "12";"94";"

From: Aqrn I 3/28/2006 1:55 pm
To: Metaphorm I (94 of 126)

LOL! I can totally see somebody doing this. Somebody like myself. Yessss, maybe I will make a hole here... No? Perhaps here? Still no good. Ah, this is the spot for a hole. No?! Who in hell do you think you are?! Don't you know? Cats love the fishes 'cause they're so delicious! No no, that wasn't me, that was Ellie. Teeheeehee. Oh yes. Ellie, what a silly kittie. <STOP CHEWING ON THOSE CURSED PLASTIC BAGS CAT!!>

" "12";"95";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 3/31/2006 8:38 pm
To: ALL (95 of 126)

LoL!

The more I hear, the more I am coming to believe, Religion Will End The World. Nature wants to survive, nature's very pun intended nature is to survive, religion lives to die, doomsday apocalypse revelations, keep it. I'd rather survive, but then the majority rules, it's been nice knowing you all, lol.

What's the major difference between a religion and a mythology? Time, Belief, and who's god's armies what whats battles and wars.

" "12";"96";"

From: Mulsknr1 4/10/2006 10:29 pm
To: Metaphorm I (96 of 126)

you might be right. pat robertson is taking most of the idiots to hell with him tho so lets wait and see?

" "12";"97";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/11/2006 4:27 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (97 of 126)

*They say the abuse of false religions and falser religious people will ultimately be the downfall of theology and usher in a new age of reason and science. Some people's idea of the Christian way to act has got to go. As of last night if I do Any religion at All I'm removing the middleman. No Church, No Preacher, no paying someone who tells hellfire and brimstone fables because he was too lazy or crazy to get a real job.*

{Me and the Creator are going hiking sometime, leave church to the flock.}

" "12";"98";"

From: Mulsknr1 4/11/2006 5:50 pm
To: Metaphorm I (98 of 126)

Amen lol

" "12";"99";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I 4/18/2006 5:35 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (99 of 126)

Hallelujah and pass the gas, Brother Mulsk, lol.

You guys get any of the new news on the Judas papers being found in ancient Egypt? Problem there is there is no way for the common man to know for certain the truth of that matter! It's an interesting plot twist on what we knew of the bible's version, and seemst point to doomsday, but ... raise your hand of you've personally carbondated that document and can verify it's authenticity?

" "12";"100";"

From: Mulsknr1 4/18/2006 8:25 pm
To: ALL (100 of 126)

When it comes to carbon dating, I am not skeptical.

How about this? What if the catholic church, one of the many diverse branches of christianity, back at the time after christ , possibly the most powerful, then and now, did in fact steer the peasants and anyone else to the \"truth\" by elimanating and editing the various books of the bible. So what?

Why? So they could hone the message of christ and the resurection and the afterlife in heaven with the heavenly father. All of the miricles and supernatural events sorrounding his life her on earth were designed to help sell the idea of christianity. Just as entertainment tonight sells all of the primetime crap you have to watch on NBC. I ask, What difference does it make if it is factual or not? There is no proof of a life after death anyway . You have faith or you don't. You either believe in God or you don't. It is that simple. However if it weren't for the church , no one would even know enough about christianity to even have a debate like this. We wouldn't be able to speak the language , we would have no common ground. Somebody knew what they were doing. You gotta start somewhere. In kindergarten you learned the alphabet , and then you started to make words , and now you can right your thiesis , on tolstoys war and peace. Its a process. Maybe the church didn't want to get bogged down in its part of the process debating the facts and junk? maybe the saw the importance and value in the story of christ. and turned it into a story that still lives on til this day, long after his death.

The thing I believe should be of concern are the documents that are being made as we live and breathe, via Emails phone call recordings and cameras in cell phones. everything we do is factual evidence. Dna toast crumbs and hair in your toothbrush. LOL Big Brother and all of that. The fear of God is being replaced by a paranoia of being caught in an embarrasing situation and exposed via technology. FORENSICS of course if you don't do anything your ashamed of you have nothing to worry about and surely you will go to heaven. All I am saying is that I think that some smart men in the first century, had reasons for what the allowed to be known, and what the didn't. Knowledge is power. etc. and that made them powerful by default , becuase the church kept the secrets, and knew the truth. Who are we to tear it all apart and say God doesn't exist just becuase, in a court of law, ( our contemporary concept of good and evil ) the facts don't add up, and because some unfortunate bastard got caught contradicting himself in writing. Just a thought.

" "12";"101";"

From: yelosnow 5/3/2006 3:31 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (101 of 126)

this should clear a few things up

 

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Optimus_Prime
moo sez mee

" "12";"102";"

From: yelosnow 5/3/2006 3:55 pm
To: ALL (102 of 126)

oops was supposed to be to all sorry .. im a newb here

this should clear a few things up

 

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Optimus_Prime
moo sez mee

" "12";"103";"

From: Saphyra 5/15/2006 10:34 am
To: Mulsknr1 (103 of 126)

Well all I have to say is the scientist prove the bible more everyday, when all the time they are trying to disprove it.Go figure.The ones who dont believe trying to make it a false thing proves it really happen

" "12";"104";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 5/15/2006 3:53 pm
To: ALL (104 of 126)

*Uncyclopedia also has a Beeeautiful picture of Moses conversing with the Archangel Megatron, lol, through the burning bush, lmao.*

{ƒç†ing classic, hilarious.}

" "12";"105";"

From: Mulsknr1 5/16/2006 10:46 pm
To: Saphyra (105 of 126)

I Think you are right. I don't have a lot of time for people who like to go thru the Bible and point out the inconsistancies and argue the point with science as an alternate religion. Who ever said science was the anti-thesis to religion anyway. Apples and Oranges. A man who studies the bible all of his life and has set out from the beginning beliving everything he has read has taken a journey of truth. To him, he knows the truth, and it is true. And a person who has taken the road of science and has never questioned critical theroy and knows that it is obviously the gospel knows just as much and just as little as the man who spent his life , with his nose in the bible. Thats my opinion. Its not about truth, is not about an answer to a question. Its just an idea. An Idea that might expand and improve, and continue. If the devil hadn't bogged us all down in proofs and answers. Its about faith. Its about how you handle the situations in your life when you really can't see. and when you don't understand at all. When it makes no sense to you at all. Its an idea that you are not alone in the world. An idea that your not the first and not the last. An idea that others have come to this point in there lives too. we are all saved by grace , and intelect, and perserverence , and help form people , with good hearts, who may have or may not have ever been in the same situtation before. You move on, if you have faith. Its not by good calculations alone. Its not about answers , there are no answers to some things. And if you are suggesting that eventually the bible will be obselete, and science will be all you need. I don't think it even applys. If you ask me, It is the bastard who decided to try and make everyone think that science was evil that caused all of the problems. And i would bet he is related to the guy who started the idea that science is God. I bet people would have embraced science a long time ago, centuries infact, as a part of the human experience, a tool for living, just like the Bible. I am guessing you won't need science after your dead. Where ever you go.

" "12";"106";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 5/17/2006 5:22 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (106 of 126)

*Heh, here's a holy trinity for ya. WHat about a balance? The human expression is made up of three significant aspects. Body Mind and Spirit. The Body needs the Sciences of chemical electronic physics biology etc etc. The Mind needs knowledge, to learn to teach to think. The Spirit, now this is the cool one. It needs Faith. It's a thing of faith anyaways, science doesn't officially recognized the soul yet, hasn't dissected one yet, lol. Logicaly the mind can learn aot from the science of body and the faith in spirit. Religion is a pathway to realization of the soul, as it should be. I'm against religions that choke off and supress the soul, therfore retarding the mind, and depriving the body.*

" "12";"107";"

From: Mulsknr1 5/17/2006 7:39 pm
To: Stargoyle (107 of 126)

hmmmm, there you go again making up religions lol

" "12";"108";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 5/18/2006 5:44 pm
To: Mulsknr1 (108 of 126)

{Neh, lol, it's a time killer.}

" "12";"109";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 11/8/2006 4:22 pm
To: ALL (109 of 126)

E-mail message
Subject: Sister Mary Katherine

 

--


Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest says, \"Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are
welcome here as long as you like,
but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.\"

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before
the Priest said to her, \"Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here
for 5years. You may speak two words.\"

Sister Mary Katherine said, \"Hard bed.\"

I'm sorry to hear that,\" the Priest said, \"We will get you a
better bed.\"

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the
Priest. You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.\"
Cold food,\" said Sister Mary Katherine,

The Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again
called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. \"You may say
two words today.

I quit.\" said Sister Mary Katherine.

It's probably best,\" said the Priest. You've done nothing but bitch
since you got here.\"

{Friggin whiny aint she!?}

" "12";"110";"

From: MysticWolf1 11/22/2006 10:26 am
To: Stargoyle (110 of 126)

ohhh do you care if I snag this? lol

too cute!

" "12";"111";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 11/22/2006 5:28 pm
To: MysticWolf1 (111 of 126)

*Absolutely not, {spread the good word I say!} and Meta's been cooking up a whole line of bull somewhere if I can remind him to get it, it's the most controversial stuff yet, lol.*

" "12";"112";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 12/6/2006 4:41 pm
To: ALL (112 of 126)

E-mail message
From: gl4dius / Mr.GLaD
Subject: (no subject)
TWO PRIESTS DECIDED TO GO TO HAWAII ON VACATION!

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing
anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some outrageous
shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they
went to the beach dressed in their \"tourist\" garb!

They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine
and the scenery when a \"drop dead gorgeous\" topless blond in a
thong came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said: \"Good Morning, Father. Good Morning, Father.\", nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know that
they were priests??

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought
even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud, you could
hear them before you even saw them!

Once again, in their new attire, they settled on their chairs to enjoy the sunshine!

After a while, the same gorgeous topless blond, wearing a different colored
thong, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them!

Again, she nodded at each of them, and said\" \"Good Morning, Father. Good Morning, Father.\", and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, \"Just a minute, young
lady!\"

\"Yes, Father?\"

\"We are priests and proud of it, but I have to
know, how in the world do you know we are Priests, dressed as
we are?\"

She replied, \"Father, it's me, Sister Mary Kathleen!\"

{I thought for sure Sister Mary Katherine had made another joke appearance here, one of the coolest nuns ever in online jokery. I got a whopper o a humdinger god ringer t bring over sometime, unless Metaphorm wants to reveal it himself?}

" "12";"113";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-15 9:40 pm
To: ALL (113 of 126)

E-mail message

From: GL4DIUS
Subject: The Pastor's Donkey :this is very funny
The Priest's Donkey

The priest entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered
in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:
PRIEST'S ASS IS HOT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the priest not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey.

The priest decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, Posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas, The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery
and even shorten your life.

So, be yourself and enjoy life !!!

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

" "12";"114";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-15 10:30 pm
To: ALL (114 of 126)

*Fallen Stargoyle.

Guess you could call me a born again antichristian lol. I lost the faith decades ago dropped like a bad nun's habit lol. When I say AntiChristian I personally mean that I am not Satanic, I do believe faintly in one central creative force, I just distrust christians as naive, sheltered, goodygoody, egotistical and arrogant, deliberately insulting, patronizing, pontificating, overzealous, idealistic, anal, subservient, meek, psychotic, mental, obsessive, narrowminded, prejudicial, and they dress boringly.

I Fired God way early on. I lived the kind of life that really tests the presence of a benevolent god, and I think if you still believe then evidently you haven't in the direst need looked to see it's Just Not There. I lose someone close to me and the reverend says it's God's Plan? Well, screw god, I don't like his plan. Hey if a reverend preacher pastor priest is gonna speak for god I can take it as gospel. Gospel that god is like a giant bored kid with a magnifying glass viewing judging and frying us like bugs on a whim. Doesn't sound like a god I really want hanging around.

I did have one brief moment of uplifting religious fervor, it was a really very charismatic night of AWANAS, kinda a fun and games night at the country church. I had just completed my gold leather with copper vynil seams bible cover and was feeling like this really cool cared for christian child of god. Hey I was eleven lol I also had Hulk Hogan up on a pedestal too. I read the bible passages as if I had a clue what all the repetitive contradictory thee thou talk was really talking about. Me and my glow in the dark Praying Hands statue, and bible, and king solomon bookmark were just glowing, my new imaginary friend God was with me lol.

I was bursting with pride at this! I announced to Dad I was now a Christian! :D I believed in God now! Dad stopped and looked at me grinning like a lunatic, but grn starting to quaver~ and said \"So?\". But that got me thinking, yes so, so what, now what? Klunk! That brought my godulism to a halt. Sure I occasionally jumped back on the biblewagon for a quick scripture look, an attempt at prayer, or just talking to god acting like god existed and could hear me. That condition has been in remission for decades now, with the exception of cursing god for bad traffic, people's misbehavior, poor scheduling and bad timing.

I have lived the life that tested the presence of a benevolent god, if he realy existed he'd have helped by now. Unless you take the uberpious route and say all my suffering and travails were god's punishment for me or to make me stronger? No thanks. Should be up to diamond strength already, back off. In my darkest hours, prayers to god, no answer, the god you are trying to call has been disbelieved or no longer in reverence. Please try again. Nice god you guys got here. I'd fire him if I were you. He's lazy neglects his given duties and when he can be bothered to apply himself to his task of interaction it's only to cause natural disasters? Wow huh? How very lame.

I've tasked myself towards killing god lol one believer at a time. I'm an Irreverend. It's time to stop the nonsense. Of course I will leave the christians to their devout worships, some people aren't ready to let go yet. Alot of folks merely need something else to jump onto, being that SelfReliance isn't confident enough footing for them quite yet. But I appeal to the people who belive in any religion that endorses war. Let's see your god/s come down and fight alongside you. If he really wanted war, even victory, imagine what a god could do on the battlefield! We're talking some major shock and awe there.

Shoot, all it would take is a God appearing in Iraq, even an Angel. We're so media interlaced an event like that would spread through the world view like wildfire! Now ya think if there was a god he would have done that by now? No? God doesn't work like that? Well I don't think god works anyways. But how does God work? How can we claim to know the mind of an unknowable god, passing down edicts verbatim when his plan is always so mysterious? If his plan is to let us destroy eachother then I don't think it matters if he's worshipped or not. You can't persuade or dissuade a god like that, cajoling a giant icy distant cruel vengeful angry god, sounds like fun. No thank you.

It's time to move past the need for this. Hey, adopt a few stray gods, learn from all religions equally, take what works for you and own it. Customize a pantheon. But place yourself as the center. You'll be the god of your own life. Only by creating your own heavens and hells and knowing you're doing it can you create the rest of your own reality. Sure it's subject to everyone else's realities and alot of them aren't going in the same direction you are but you can own your part. There won't be a God to claim your good on, there won't be a devil to blame your bad on.

That's the problem with people these days, too goddamn stuck in their ruts to own up to some self responsibility. There's gotta be this reason that starts with God wants, God told, God demands, God blessed, God likes God hates, God god god. Maybe it's time to find something better to do than kneeling praying bowing scraping worshipping adoring blaaah. Maybe it's time for our scientific outlook on things to look back at our present selves with our outdated monotheistic population control system that still serves as the backbone of law and taxes and government.

Maybe there's a reason why things work the way they do besides God made them that way. Maybe there are forces in this universe that religion is Not responsible for. Maybe just maybe things happen for no reason at all other than they just can. Are any of you ready for that realization? That kind of Revelation? We got fanatics all over the place trying to bring about their religious endtimes prophecies, their faith is fading so they need that affirming stimuli I guess. Like dumping water on your head for 40 days and nights and saying it's The Flood! The Flood! Is it too late to stop this? Wouldn't we all rather live? Are we that afraid of surviving as a species and civilization that we gotta cut off proceedings post haste? Fearing the future.

Sounds like fun.*

" "12";"115";"

From: Aqrn I Aug-18 12:51 am
To: Stargoyle (115 of 126)

Wow, that's quite the rant d00d. =P

I don't practice any religion, nor do I feel compelled to do so. I'm pretty damn happy just having one person in which I can completely confide in and trust with my every dark secret and those horrible mistakes past. I'm not perfect, and he shares that with me. We're just people living and learning and enjoying each other's company and thoughts.

If there is a god, I'm gonna need a little bit of proof. Why do I need proof? Because that bum on the street that's telling me he's god and that I'm a sinner and should read the bible is in fact not god, and so the one fella that wants to be this one and only all powerful god is going to have to do something pretty significant to have my belief. And how do I know that bum wasn't god? I can claim to be god and that does not make me god. People can lie. And that does not move me to believe in what they say. The bible is man's word. Not god's. I flatly do not believe in a thing the bible says.

It's not that I'm unwilling to believe. I do not believe in creationism. I believe in science and evolutionism. I'm mortal and can't understand infinite stuff. How can god be infinite, how can the universe be infinite? It's always been there, forever! It's stuff that we're not meant to understand. The things that are in my life are finite and definable. Science explains everything I need to understand. I just don't see a whole lot of space for god in my life.

" "12";"116";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-18 1:15 am
To: Aqrn I (116 of 126)

{I'm a ranty guy lol and God always taks the form of bums, it's what he most identifies with, but he's giving bums a bad name.}

Alanis Morissette - What If God Was One Of Us
If god had a name, what would it be?
And would you call it his face if you were faced with him and all his glory
what would you ask if you had just one question
yeah yeah god is great
yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
What if god was one of us ?
just a slob like one of us
just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home
If god had a face, what would it look like?
And would you want to
if seeing meant that you would have to believe in things like heaven
and in Jesus and the saints and all the profits
and yeah yeah god is great
and yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if god was one of us
just a slob like one of us
just a stranger on the bus
trying to make his way home
back up to heaven all alone
nobody calling on the phone
except for the pope maybe in rome
(instrumental)
yeah yeah god is great
yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
what if god was one of us
just a slob like one of us
just a stranger on the bus
trying to make his way home
just trying to make his way home
like a holy rolling stone
back up to heaven all alone
just trying to make his way home
nobody calling on the phone
except for the pope maybe in rome

{Oddly later Alanis herself got to play God on the Dogma movie. I was homeless for awhile, can I be god? I knew I was missing out on something there.}

" "12";"117";"

From: Aqrn I Aug-24 9:54 pm
To: Stargoyle (117 of 126)

We have the Joan Osbourne version of that song. I didn't know Alanis sang it too! It's prolly better than Joan's version, bah!

" "12";"118";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-24 11:27 pm
To: ALL (118 of 126)

It's on my old MySpace, so I'm not sure it all exists yet, and it's ten times as controversial as Anything that Stargoyle has ever said lol. But if you mortals think you're ready for it, well then I'll go see if I can go get it.

" "12";"119";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Aug-24 11:47 pm
To: ALL (119 of 126)

Soul/itar/y Re/define/meant Probably just a Blog
SouLTroN
Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 33
Sign: Scorpio
City: BELLINGHAM
State: Washington
Country: US
My Blog Groups
Judges, Juries & Executioners
The Ultimate NonTopic OffTopic AntiTopic Ever!
Current mood: mischievous

\"Hi kids, I'm god! No no wait hear me out. Now I know I haven't been seen or heard from in some 5000 years of known history nor 41,4356,4387,398 years 3 months and 4 days of UNknown history but I just wanted to drop a note and let you kids know I'm still around. I don't have much a hand in earthly doings as you all seem to wish I did, but I do have some suggestions! Anyone claiming to speak for me, including myself? Liar liar.

Pants, blabla fire all that. Nobody speaks for me, mainly cause nobody listens anyways. Sorry to say all the spent martyrisms, all the wars fought in my name, all the prayers and worship, real yawners, why dont you kids go outside and play. I'll pray to me instead. ou kids go and live.

Sheesh, thinking you were created instantly, my original design took Time to improve upon! A single enzymatic molecule and well I gave an inch you all took a mile! Very nice!

You can have the patience to go from primordial ooze to jello pudding pops, but you can't even get along with eachother. Bush? I didn't appoint him to office, he doesn't speak for me. He's very entertaining, thought I was watching someone making fun of presidency in general listening to his comedic stutterings and malaprops, but scary part is he's serious. Oh no, someone's reading another bible. Listen, it may be about me, but it's 101% WRONGO. I don't send people to any hells they haven't sent themselves to in the first place. Angels? You want one of those flying over your car? Sitting on telephone lines? Interesting but ridiculous concept. Thanks anyway.

The DEVIL! Oh yes now he's real, very real, in fact he's me! At least for my part of it, the rest of the evil is actually humans evilling eachother. See the god part of me takes credit for all the material, the devil part of me takes the blame for letting it all go to hell. And right smack dab inbetween comes Free Choice! This is where you humans can do what even I as God could not imagine you doing! I built the house, you do the maintenance, actually it just kinda exploded and fell in on itself in a usable form, but if ya wanna say I did it, hell thanks, that's high praise. But it's your earth, your reality, as you defined it, but not as you defined me. So in closing I suggest you quit putting words in my mouth and focus on the being of the yourselves, yes including the smartass jerkoid typing this for me, lol. GOOD NIGHT!\"

Hiya kids, god again, yes I'm still on that tired played out god riff.

But hey you get a listen to the news coverage of the election 06? Such a topic for another blog category I suppose, hey god may have finally gotten a myspace, but he's still shaky on organization. If I was totally like had it together, well we wouldn't have Australia now then would we? I was having a weird time then, so sue me. Still very funny, I wanted a giant mouse with a deer head, rabbit ears, the body of a furred velociraptor. Okay a beaver, with a duck bill, poisonous quills and could lay eggs. A teddy bear like mammal that was grouchy smelled bad and was addicted to a certain type of leaf. I was feeling Explorative! Yes that's the one. All bad humor aside, it's probably time to see to quelling some of the possible negative flak I see coming from the not as understanding of ye readers. My point is, and you are just going to love this. You're gods too! That's right you all have my power. I'm so weary of people who can't be good and charitable of their own accord, for instance I disguised myself as a homeless person once, got 20 bucks, and was told why too. It was their christian duty! Duty? Work? Is god paying you for this? You couldn't be decent and respectful on your own?

Shee, bad or good don't blame me. Bad or good it was your own personal and human nature. Nobody tells you to be a virtuous or villainous person, you do it on yor own. Leave me and lucipher outta this, we're too busy playing mortal kombat, and he is slick with 14 hit combos, but he doesn't know about my wicked skills swanging fatalities on his candy ass.

Anyways, you do have the power of gods. You can claim credit for the miracles and maladies that this world evidences, you can claim imperical knowledge of the hidden workings of this universe and reality, all that becomes clearer and clearer with research. Science is putting me right outta business, but I don't mind, sooner or later they grow up and leave the nest so to speak, and the further you get away from using religion as a crutch, the closer you get to full spiritual maturity! Now you can agree or disagree to this maturely preferred, but fully indignantly angered is ok as well.

This is your power of free choice.

Not to say you now have divine permission to be evil! Good is always the preference, to do good for yourself and others. personally, I feel that as god you're all ready to start taking your first baby steps as a new enlightened planetary civilization and stop with the old boogieman superstition big brother god watches us type of behavior. It's time you did well for the sake of wellness. Yes I'm partly submitting this for the sake of spice and controversy but if you don't shake up the fishtank everynow and then, all the fishpoop settles at the bottom to cement into an uncleanable mess. My sediments exactly. So hey listen kids, it's been great and I hope I smoothed out some ruffled feathers, although feathers were not included in your original mammalian primate design, and sleep smoothly, dream well, and think of applying your full potential to your life and the world around you. Now if you'll excuse me I gotta hover over the few remaining swing vote states and breath down some necks. Choice also means positive change, and if they gotta just gotta look to me for answers, well I think the Democrats are the hottest thing since Pikachu!

Can't type much now kids, plum wore myself out vandalizing the moon, here check this out, beautiful. Sure I'm old as time itself, but it doesn't excuse me this immature behavior! I mean wait, in that it this actually does! Sigh, ok, I'm just a giant cosmic punk. But I still have more toys than you all!

Since inventing the Alphabet I've seen not many other better uses than this, you're asking me? Oh wait, yes? You wanna know more about God? Avoid church, read here. A- Available: Sometimes I wish, lol, if only for a day. Whoops night?- Age: 32 nearly 33.- Annoyance: HUmans.B- Best Friend: My best friend is my ability to attract so many quality friends at once, how's that one?- Beer: OE ICE 800, malt licquors, fancy local brews, guiness, or whatever's being offered.- Birthday: 11/15C- Crush: Stomp, Mangle, Flatten, Impact, Strike, and recycle?- Car: Saturn midnite blue.- Candy: Licorice.D- Day or Night: NIGHT!- Dream vehicle: A triple changer mecha.- Easiest person to talk to: Myself.- Eggs: Spicy Omelette, peppers, cheese and meats.F- First crush: I don't remember her name, the glue girl with the curly blonde hair in kindergarten.G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Sourpatch kids, lol.- Giver or taker: Taker of what comes my way, giver cause it makes my day.H- Hair Color: Auburn, brown? Used to be red, going skin colored, lol.- Height: 6'1\"- Happy: Content.I- Ice Cream: Chocolate anything. Licorice icecream, it gives you blue poop, try it, it's a frikkin trip!- Instrument: Indian flute if I had to pick one. It comes hiking with me.J- Jewelry: Skull and bat rings, though I'm not much a ring wearer, they're nice to ogle while waiting for pages to load, lol.- Job: adult babysitting, property integrity constancy maintenance, enforcement car filling, uniform mannequin, lol.K- Kids: Gobie and Pixie, they meow, but they're just fine.- Kickboxing or karate: Ninjitsu.L- Longest Car Ride: Astoria Oregon to Butte Montana, sleepless arrived at butte me and my pal both unshaven bloodshot eyes, and ordering at McDonalds, people were a tad scared, we were laughing like way too much. M- Milk flavor: Plain, chocolate or eggnog.N- Number of Siblings: 1, deceased, numerous spiritual siblings, some also now deceased, gotta stop calling people Bro, it's killing them.- Number of Piercings: None, au natural.O- One wish: ust gimme the damn million bucks, lol.- One regret: Not picking up on clues happiness was tying to give me soon enough to receive them.P- Pet peeves: Egotism, artificiality, unforgivable damaging naivete in positions of power, and a certain type of breath and skin smell that makes me cough and gag. - Part of your personality that you like: Adaptability.Q- Quick or slow: Quick, let's get to the slowness, lol.R- Reason to smile: - Mirrors, damn I'm one handsome mutant. Reality TV Shows: - Get real, no really, get real, reality shows, are kinda not worth the watching. Reason to cry: Some current events. S- Song you last heard: Instruments Of Destruction I think by Spectre General.T- Time you woke up: Noonish- Time Now: 4;36pm, yes I still look like hell, so what, lol.- Time for bed: sually around 4 - 5 am.U- Unpredictable: EAT ߪ and DIE! YAAAUGHABOO! All your cereal are belong to me now, Yes? Sure someties WHY NOT! Stop asking me questions SAY AGAIN? Again, thank you, you're welcome, no completely stable, lol.V- Vegetable you hate: Squash.- Vegetable you love: Jalapenos.- Vacation spot: to be differnt, the astral plane, lol. W- Worst habits: Probably smoking, junk food, videogames, internet, ok I quit all at once, goodbye, lol jk. X- X-Rays:
Yesm, and mri and brochoscopy.Y- Year it is now: - 1984 Yellow: Snow.Z- Zoo animal: - Snow leopard or that one monkey who wanted to sit near me and just kinda in his thinker pose. Zodiac sign: Scorpio leo sun leo moon, basically, kinda hammy, but read between the lions. Chinese, Water Ox. Celtic White Hound. Aztec Flint. India Vrishika. Native American Medicine Wheel, Snake.

I wanna GO!Body:100. First off, what is your name? All I wana say here is B.99. Why were you named that? After a song, and it's celtic for Fighter.98. Who is your best friend? Gobie97. Do you have any siblings? Had.96. Are your parents together/divorced/seperated? May Divorce be with you.95. Favorite color? blue glass.94. Who is ur favorite NFL team? Degeneration X.93. What does the 7th message in ur text inbox say and who is it from? I got the clan creedo. I can only read and see. Not hear. I love it, very direct and to the point. Thikko!92. What about the 13th? Well I still have the cellphone so you can bug me. OtakuGrL 91. Who sits behind u in 7th period? The Undertaker90. Who sits to the left? Abraham Lincoln89. Where is your mom right now? Of all places visitting my aunt in Roswell NM88. Do u have any kids? NO87. Who is the 5th person u got a missed call from? Crycell Gryphone86. Closest black object. Keyboard85. Closest silver object. Skull ring84. Have u ever jumped a fence running from a cop? Lmao no, 83. Do u sing in the shower? I used to until I fuond out how thin those apartment walls really are by accidentally doing a duet with the neighbor, gods I hate apartment life.82. Do u own any pets? 2.81. How does ur hair look right now? Drying curly, unruly.80. Last time u listened to country music? 2 days ago79. Have u ever been to a concert? Yes, weird al and willie nelson78. If u could kill someone, who? one of my bosses?77. What are ur fears? Scary.76. Do u still pee ur pants? Only with the zipper open75. What do u hear right now? Northern Exposure74. How many drugs are in ur system right now? One caffeine73. What kind of drunk are u? Philosophical drunk.72. What are u wearing? Uniform71. Last person u commented? Cant remember.70. Do u sing? Yezzz.69. Since were on the number, have u ever 69ed? Yep, a few times.68. Screamo or Country? Techno67. Rock or Rap? Mixtures of both66. Last person u sent naked pictures to? Lmao do I hate anyone that much..,65. Who did u last call? The automatic checking out system.64. Who last called u? Mr. Alonzo63. What jewelry do u wear daily? Ring62. Are u happy right now? Happy is an act to simulate thigns going right in the world, they aren't, I'm not.61. Who did u last say u loved? Janine Turner60. Would u die for someone? Only for myself.59. If so, who? Myself.58. Who wants to hang out with u tonight? Dispatch people who're aspiring security guards? With ductape, lol so they can be sirens.57. What do u smell right now? Drying soap56. Do u have to pee right now? Mildly but it can wait a few more hours.55. What did u do last night? Absolutely nothing.54. What are u doin today? Wwwwworking53. If an ex asked u back out, would u say yes? Depends on which ex, and how loudly I'd fking laugh.52. Do u pick ur nose? No I choose or select it.51. Do u cuss? Fuck yeah50. Bedsheet color. Blue again49. Wall color. white48. Have u ever had sperm in ur eyeball? lmao that's fking sick.47. Do u cut urself? accidentally every now and tehn46. Wildest rumor uve ever heard about urself? I'm faking my illness.45. Do u have makeup on right now? NO43. Are u shy? No cmment42. Your hero? Chris Stevens.41. Last alcoholic beverage u consumed? Red Sangria40. Favorite ice cream? English Toffee this time.39. Have u ever layed with a member of the opposite sex? Yes, a few times, and not enough.38. America or Canada? Amerida, Canica.37. What makes u mad? Humans 36. What if u found out u were adopted? Oh thakn gods, where are my real parents, lol.35. Jeans or Sweatpants? Both34. Do u like boys with short or shaggy hair? I dont like boys.33. Name 5 things in ur room. Coffeecup, cellphone,. cats, leobreaker, gargoyle collection.32. Do u have socks on? o but should cause I gtta get to wrk soon.31. Do u own any big sunglasses? Huge ones, very comfy.30. Have u ever cried so hard u puked? No29. Have u ever cried urself to sleep? probably28. Black or White? Black27. Hollister or Hot Topic? Dunno hollister so hot topic ii is26. Have u recently talked to an ex? No25. Been dumped? no24. Can you touch your toes? Yes23. Been in a dangerous situation? No22. Fave tv show? This time it's Trinity Blood or Bleach21. Do you like 80s movies? Are tey really any other kids?20. Been fired? Yep.19. Worn someone elses underwear? No.18. Most embarassing cd? Spice World soundtrack, lmao17. What kinda music do you like? All kinds, kinda16. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, 15. Are you a crazy stalker? I stalk and I'm crazy, but people bore me too much to bother stalking.14. Best city you've visited? This time butte montana, two wods, raw amethyst gravel, three words, lol13. Been to London? No.12. Do you have any bad habits? plenty11. Fave subject at school? Drama10. Been to college? Aye9. Fave jello? Green8. Fave actor/actress? Thomas Jane / SaaaaawhatsherfaceSALMA HAYAK!7. Do you ever walk around the house naked? Yes, it's kinda fun, lol6. Ever shoplifted? Way way back5. Fascinated by the macabre? Macrame? I wish I cuold do that stuff, macabre yes, totally, lol4. Favourite holidays? Birthday halloween, 4th of july3. What are you looking forward to? Somethign that will never happen.2. Ever gotten lost in the dark? Nope. I live int he dark.1. Do you snore/talk/walk in your sleep? Snore, talk.

Kids, God here is known by many names, alot like Metaphorm, but not as good loking as him, my finest creation if he allows me to take credit, lol. So anyway, here's a shocker chair rocker, but did you all know you're all basicaly worshipping the same guy? Gimme a ozzy black sabbath 'do and some nice silver copper armor, and I'm Odin. Eating binge and a shweet tan I'm Buddha.

You name it I'm there, I'm only limited by your imaginations. This is why holy wars, or battles fought in my name are so redundant, it's all in whose imaginary friend is cooler.

It's now al in really who's version of the same me ismore correct, like I've said before nobody is truly completely correct, but there are some interesting variations of me that even I couldn't have thought up.
SouLTroN's version of me is right dandy, still not totally correct, am right in saying I am the unknowable?

SouL's version of me is alike to the Galactic Trickster, the spirit of fun and life and love. I am the best in humanity because I was made up of alot of the best of humanity. Aspire to be me? No. Aspire t be the best you that you can be? Yes. I'll spare you the pop positivity and inspirational styrofoam, but I believe in you more than any of you believe in me. I'm in the mod to disect the bible for a bit. You with me? Good. Genesis, it took 7 days to create Phil COllins, on the 8th day cuold hear Phill Collins in the air tonight, Oh Lawd. Well I remembah!

Adam and Lilith? Yes. Lii was a strong spiritted gal, think she got that from female grunge rockers and alanis moronette and Sarah MacClachalachagackle, lol. Jk. Ironic that Alanis potrays mein DOGMA, I've never looked hotter in a fluffy skirt I tellya. Kevin Smith is a visionary.
The flood, 40 days and forty nights.

That was Global Warming. Should have been your first global warning. SHeep fart methane, ok that was theory.

Thins happen on this earth even when I'm not involved, if you can believe that, sometimes ߪ just happens. I mean It'd be a fulltime job for me if I myself had to cause everything that happens to happen. Chaos and chance and fortune and fate need their place. Sunday's coming up, and dare you to do something. Do not go to church, those people need to get real jobs. have no ned of your money and it never really reaches me anyway. It pays teh cable bill and gas money of that frocking podium standing lawgiver tat claims to represent me on earth. Do your own thing, and do it wel, do it for youself and do it for your own best benefit. Let church preach to itself, you alone can do what's best for you, and I repeat, that preacher reverend bible salesman should be made to get a real job. His usage of my name should demand royalties for anyhow, but like I said I don't need the money! I already have all I want and need.

The WAGES OF SIN Quiz. Fill it out like so and I'll explain it all after, now TO THE CONFESSIONAL! Give it about as close to an exact approximate number of each thing, these are not exactly sins, but some things you might not want known the specifics of, Number and then total. Had sex: Alot, innumerable.Smoked: Likewise.Got drunk: 0kay maybe the number system isn't gonna work all that well.Went skinny dipping: 2. Kissed someone of the opposite sex: Many many times. Kissed someone of the same sex: 0!Cheated: 1.Fell asleep in class: 24.Been expelled: 5.Been in a fist fight: 8.Given oral: 5.Got oral: 10.Prank called the cops: 0.Stole something: 9. Done drugs: 13.Dyed your hair: 0. Done something with someone older (like a few years): Something's kinda vague, n/a then.Went out with someone OVER 18 (if your under 18): 2. Ate a whole thing of oreos: 9.Cried yourself to sleep: 3.Said you love someone but didnt mean it: 100.Been in love: 6.Got caught doing something that you shouldnt have been doing: You have no idea, this defies numbers, and infinitutde the times I was NOT caught.Went streaking: 1. Got arrested: 2.Madeout with someone at the movies: 1.Peed in the pool: 3. Played spin the bottle: I spun a bottle and came up with the number 8.Done something you regret: Innumerable again.

Let's discuss Sin, sin is according tot he oldest and original meanings, simply means Missing The Mark, imperfection, in other words being human, which you can see by this quiz above is actally quite fun, I'd incarnate into a human form as many times as possible if it meant cuold have this much damn wrong fun, lol. MY TOTAL!: 212 , Okay if you cannot beat that score, then you are actually doing better than me, oops God, lol. And are just fine in the eyes of God. Keep in mind this over the course of this whole human lifetime, not only in recent memory.

Damn if all that happened just recently I'd be one hell of a hedonistic wastebasket! Point I'm making here is LIVE = EVIL, how we define evil may not be how it should really be classified. arm against yourself and others IS bad at least, as in just definitely not good, but all in all a learning experience.

It's not a race to perfection, it's a marathon, how long you last, if you still survived, you're at least still on track, keep on moving.he World makes the You go around. Amen, now stop asking me questions about the specifics of all that, lol.

Holy Trinity Quiz, the father the son and the holy answers, lol.THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: Meta, Cat, Brian.THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Republicans, religious fanatics, insane emotional clingy people.THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY: Money, free time, friends.THREE THINGS YOU HATE: Haters, hypocracy, and and meat puppets.THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Nicotine caffeine, alcohol and cholestrol.THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: Security, Guard, Uniform.THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE (OR SAME) SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: Being the opposite sex, being a female version of me, and yet being enough unlike me to keep me guessing.THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Collecting, RPGaming, Coffee.THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW: A birthday Gift, for peope to stop asking if I want a birthday gift, a full contact rent to own lapdancer, lol.THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED: D.J., Hospital / Rodeo Clown, and for a scary unthinking instant of my life I wanted to join the army as a form of suicide, lol.THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION: Ireland, Canada, or deep deep in the woods.THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Vengeance or just to outlive all my enemies, dabble in a multi lol, say all the things that are on my mind about the people I see right to the people I see. Father Son and Holy Spirit? Am I the father or the son? Who's the baby daddy to dis daddy baby? And why is our house haunted?

If anyone can explain to me the concept of this trinity and somehow make sense doing it please give it a try, after you try this quiz, lol. And how come I haven't gotten any hatemail from this? I gotta have soemthing to work offa ya know?

You scored as Unipolar Depression. Congraulations! You are depressed! You know just how it feels to bear all the world's burdens, and the value of a 19-hour night's sleep. And you really hate that circle-guy thing on your Zoloft pill packets.
Unipolar Depression
75%Borderline Personality Disorder
42%Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
17%Antisocial Personality Disorder
17%Eating Disorders
8%Schizophrenia
8%
Which mental disorder do you have?
created with QuizFarm.comSanity is overrated, and a harmingful misnomer.
I wil need two volunteers from the audience, a sane person and someone who's crazy. Mr. Sane Person, if you saw a crazy person drowning wuold you save them? This this make you sane that you didn't or crazy that you did. Mrs. Crazy person, if you were drowning wuold you even ask Mr. Sane here to help or wuold you just not bother knowing he'd walk right on past. Now ya see how this goes. There is actually realy clinically insane, and then there is outcast, which is also caled insane,. and someone told that enough begins to believe it, and fgoes insane, congrats, the human race has just ruined another one, thank you all and good night..., Why do I keep delaying Armageddon on this lot, lol, oh yeah the movies coming out this summer, for one. Here I am now, Entertain Me!

Hey kids, God here again and it's about that time of year. Yes, when my whiter kids came across teh seas and made themselves at home in America, despite any and all nonexistent immigration laws not in effect at that time. They came t america t escape religious persecution in order to go somewhere else and do it to eachother and others of my creations.
The burned witches, those most natural, in touch and helpful of religious practicers, and they forced native americans into reservations and missoins to drill the old monotheistic control principle into their minds as it was done to them thousands of years ago. I can't turn my back on you all for a mere millenia can I? I swear, it's all can do to keep from pullingthe universe over and paddling the lot of you. I had the rare and funny discomfort of having a thanksgiving ON an indian reservation, and don't think I didn't haveany reservations about that stupid joke outta the way NEXT, but it was an interesting experience.

Heard some great white people jokes and even though I'm currently carnated in a whitey body I found myself nervously laughing despite in spite of myself. Stuff like ah yes cuold you my red brother pass me those potatoes? That turkey? that cranberry sauce? Oregon? California, and that delicious stuffing! Since when did whites get the lion share and you put the natives at teh geographical equivalent of the kids table? This isn't t offend anyone, it's like all this other stuff another way offered oflooking at things and traditions we take for granted that in many cases needs some re evaluating. I myself God will be working Tgiving night, and I don't celebrate it much anways, too much bad memories, of mushy stews, dry as helleck turkey, flaky dusty pies and obligated familial group feastings wth unliked family. God needs a drink, lol afk, ... Ah and he drank it and it was good. Jesus said red wine was his blood? He was never that much of a lush, but he would havea rough swig if he ever found out he was not my biological son, but an adopted human. Well helleck, he wandered around for nearly 30 years claiming he was my direct offspring and he was basically a nice kid, but he looks nothing like me, and I don't recall ever getting intimate in the unreligious sense with any woman with a beard like the one he inheritted, 'd remember that, trust me, no matter how much of his blood drank. But this is a topic for Hismas and Feaster.

We're discussing Thanks and Misgivings. Guess wanna see it all turned around, don't just go out and weary out your poor beleagured retail grocer workers with your stupid traditional compulsions just to have weeks of leftovers and a few more unlosable lbs, your challenge, your homework, if you will is t give of yourself the surplus of your own home and take it to a food bank. Canned goods, boxed stuff, nonperishables please. That rotten fruit and vegetable matter you people call donation and the flies call pure heaven is totally unacceptable and almost casually insulting. No, give of yourself. ANd in that way you say thanks for the presence of your felow man and the chance to help someone else and feel good about it. Don't do it for me, don't do it outta any wasted christian duty, do it because it's the community thing to do. If you are all going to insist on living so close to eachother, in such large stressful groups all fo the sake of some convenience the least you can do is ensure someone else gets to share in the benefit of living in the city community, not bein swept under the rug like so much guilty refuse. As a parent one of the few things I ask of you is to clean your rooms, share your toys, play well with others, and wash your hands before eating, you don't know where you've been! Givvy HappsThanking kids, and definitely give that mince pie an extra indulgence, it'll give you a needed excuse for not trying the fruitcake.

Puh-Leaze!

Hey kiddos, GOD here, again, yep the ol big G to the O to the D is a little ticked off still. STILL!

Armageddon around to it I swear, Yall gonna make me go revelations on your monkey arses, make ya famous. Aherm, Need I say again wars fought over religion are just plain silly? Who's imaginary friend is cooler? What are we back in the Crusades or something?
Do you think this impresses your god/s? No it doesn't. I've been quiteunimpressed at these extinction and genocide attempts I see in the news lately. Man if I had to rely on just the news t tel me what was going on of Earth I'd have scrapped the whole Human project and started over, whatta lotta drama. No good news, just ratings news, you all want bad weather, death misery controversy conspiracy and a general coverall excuse for apathy. The world's going to hell so what else is there to do but survive, great pep me up with morning coffee. Say did you watch the news today? Oh yeah we're doomed, ya wana go out for java saturday? Sounds great seeya there. I wuold urge all of you to sit back and relax a bit, negotiations is not the sissy thing to do. Gandhi was the world's ultimate type dude cause he negotiated! I know of one sanitly figure who faced down a whole line of firing soldiers, all their bullets turned to flowers at her feet! That was all me baby, lol, would have had the bullets transfigurate into skittles or sarah machclachallaghlan cd's, but those at the time had not been invented yet, so I let it go cliche. DOVES! SNAP! Doves, damit, well maybe some other time I'll try that, I'm only concerned about the effect, guns firing birds at any speed is a little disconcerting and might not be peace inducing! God's a little distracted watching tv and having morning coffee, but later on it's off to an unknown corner of the world to inspire one small child to write the perfect bit of poetry to her ailing grandmother in estonia, and then cause some electrical disturbances somewhere where they're abusing power anyways, amongst millions of other things that am given credit for by the minute.

Well, as we now turn to closing this myspace page down to passive we reflect, noooo we REVELATE! In this here minibile fr our modern times, written by the hand of god on the keyboard of God, it's time for Revelations. Your world will end like so. First, we will coat the very atmosphere of human society with a sickened apathy towards anything that doesn't involve our own menial vices and selfish pleasures. We'll take away more and more freedoms, enforcing controls fr your own good, it's gonna save ya alotta work down the line, and alot of that bothersome freethinking. Then, we'll govern by fear with our newly minted boogiemen, human and abstract both, and your only solace will be the tabloid headlines of celebrity relationship anomalies and media electronic escapisms. We'll fatten up your foods with weightening non abosorbable chemicals and other inorganic unnatural matter, creating our mastered race of slow sickly overweight foggy headed docile slugs.
We'll keep making the wealthy wealthier, and the rest of you barely living, because let's faceit, the will of the people must be heeded, but it's rawdaddy ching ching that pays the paychecks. Take a backseat.

Take a number. Take a break. Take a powder. Take a pill. Take a long long long look at what al you're taking without so much as a look. We dont even need to bait the traps anymore to poison you all like vermin. Who is we? We are the ruling majority, we are the power in the engine of the machinery that runs this planet, and guess what, we don't give a good god damn. A huma lifetime rarely exceeds 100 yrs, the planet has at least twice that before things really get bad, s that's not exactly our most immediate concern. Tank you all for worshipping god, it keeps you well behaved, less work for us. Who is god really? Is he a force for good and compassoin all over the world who just.... happens to have been uh distracted for the past 3000 years or so now? Or is instead of Man being the creation of the mind of God, God being a creation in the mind of Man?

God created in Man's likeness. A very effective and efficiently applied monotheistic control principle tat's borrowed and stolen from smaller subjugated and enslaved other religions in an effort to keep relevant? Relevant. Revelant. Your world will end because you let it, because get the irony of this, but organized religion will be the end of the world, says so in about every religion. Read the endtext of many of the more radical extremist religions, forthough even that they have successfully controlled, decimated, absorbed and assimilated every other minor facet before it, it lacked the stamina to carry on. It wrote in a nice handy little ending to itself.

An eject seat, a finish line, a very definite conclusion. Question is, d you wat this? DO you really want this? You want the beast, the archangels, the fires floods famines and french's mustard gas? You still hve a choice you know, just as I do.

I took one new years resolution and mutated it over and moreover. I said ok I'm gonna find religion, no religion totally suited, so I customized. It seemed to be such a good workin mechanism that I then opted to Found a religion. Still aint come up with a name for it yet. n

Finding and Founding gods, salvaging older but still valid beliefs, I decided on grasping the principle to the fullest, to the hilt, and weilding it to it's fullest by BEING A GOD! And as you see it's fairly easy to do too. You take credit for all that is created, claim credit for the god in the world, spread a little too, blame evils on a devil. Sure I'll claim credit for all that, but I'll let ya damn well know where the evil's coming from, they're these nearly hairless bipeds whose buzzing honking clicking hissing language and neurotic mindsets seem t power the very earth forward for the rst of us.
Now I cuold have typed this all under the religion part of MySpace, but this isn't religion as me or may of you think of it, it's mostly a joke, a spoof, a odd strange controversial liberal bashing of all the icons we've laid too much weight upon. I do admit I go back and read some of this crap spew with a genuine surprise that all came outta lil ol me, but this is cald functional insanity, lol. Still, I'm eager to wrap this all up. The main inspiration for me even starting up a myspace has sort of departed and a good part of my will to continue using this has diminished. You know where I can be found, and you don't have to pray either, lol.

Http://forums.talkcity.com/tc-metacore or you can get outside, take a walk at night, wish on a star, sing to the moon, and breath in that crystalline pristine nighttime air. I'm not there, but you are, and I as if I was a God, now leave you in charge of yourselves, amen.

" "12";"120";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-26 11:00 am
To: Aqrn I (120 of 126)

*DUnno no Joan Osbourne, but maybe so, unless she Does sound like Ozzy. Then it's even better Go Joan!*

{eard something interesting, did you guys know that Ozzy Ozbourne was the son of Benny Hill?}

" "12";"121";"

From: Aqrn I Aug-26 6:03 pm
To: Stargoyle (121 of 126)

I don't know who Benny Hill is!

" "12";"122";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-30 1:24 am
To: Aqrn I (122 of 126)

{Wiki it I say, gettin Wiki wit it.}

" "12";"123";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-30 11:50 am
To: Stargoyle (123 of 126)

[Careful you don't get that mixed up with Benny Hinn, I think that Is a Christian figure if I remember right, but it would get us back ontopic lol jk no carry on, please. I'm getting the Benny Hill trumpet theme mixed in with Ozzy's Crazy Train playing in my head thinking about it.]

" "12";"124";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Sep-3 12:03 am
To: ALL (124 of 126)

*Bah, what's in a name?*

{I'll Wiki the Ozzy & Benny connection, now I'm curious lol.}

" "12";"125";"

From: Aqrn I Sep-13 1:20 pm
To: Stargoyle (125 of 126)

Uh huh, 10 days later... Got any results for us? =P

" "12";"126";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 1:46 am
To: Aqrn I (126 of 126)

{Huhwhat?}

*I was uh, sleeping, dormant, er doormat lol I was at work.*

" "13";"1";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 12/1/2003 5:40 am
To: ALL (1 of 3)

By: Ngilah

The Goddesses and Gods of AncientEgypt

Amon (Amen, Amun): the great god of Thebes of uncertain origin; represented as a man, the sun, and sometimes as ithyphallic; identified with Re as Amen-Re; his sacred animals were the ram and goose.

Anat: goddess of Syrian origin, with warlike character; represented as a woman holding a shield and an axe.

Anubis (Anpu): the jackal-god, patron of embalmers, healers, and surgeons; in both healing and mummification ceremonies, Anubis was the patron deity which prepared the dead and healed the living. Anubis is considered to be the great necropolis-god.

Anukis (Anqet): goddess of the cataract-region at Aswan; wife of Khnum; represented as a woman with a high feather head-dress.

Arsaphes (Herishef): ram-headed god from, Heracleopolis.

Astarte (As-start-a): goddess of Syrian origin; introduced into Egypt during the 18th Dynasty. She is also known as The Queen of Heaven and her cult often times overlapped with Isian worshipers.

Aten: god of the sun-disk, worshipped as the great creator-god by Akhenaten.

Atum (Tum): the original sun-god of Heliopolis, later identified with Re; represented as a man.

Bastet (Bast): A cat-goddess whose cult-center was at Bubastis in the Delta; in the Late Period regarded as a beneficent deity. She was seen as the patron of cats, of women, and protection.

Bes: A dwarf-deity with leonine features. Seen as a domestic god, protector against snakes and various terrors; helper of women in child-birth.

Edjo (Wadjet, Buto): the cobra-goddess of Buto in the Delta; tutelary deity of Lower Egypt, appearing on the royal diadem, protecting the king.

Geb: the earth-god; husband of Nut; member of the ennead of Heliopolis; represented as a man.

Hapy: god of the Nile in inundation; represented as a man with full, heavy breasts, a clump of papyrus on his head, and bearing heavily laden offering-tables.

Haroeris: a form of Horus, the 'Elder Horus'; identified with the falcon-god and particularly the patron of the king.

Harpocrates (Hor-Pa-Khred): A late form of Horus in his aspect of being son of Isis and Osiris; represented as a naked child wearing the lock of youth and holding one finger to his mouth.

Harsiesis: A form of Horus, specifically designated 'son of Isis'.

Hathor: Goddess of many functions and attributes; represented often as a cow or a cow-headed woman, or as a woman with horned head-dress; the suckler of the king; the 'Golden One'; cult-centers at Memphis, Cusae, Gebelein, Dendera; the patron deity of the mining-region of Sinai; identified by the Greeks with Aphrodite. She was sent by Re to cleanse the land of disbelievers. After slaying all who opposed Re, she asked to rest, and became the equivalent to the Greek form of Aphrodite, the goddess of love, fertility, women, and also their protector. There are many myths surrounding the goddess Hathor.
Hat-mehit: Fish-goddess of Mendes in the Delta; sometimes represented as a woman with a fish on her head.
Heqet: Frog-goddess of Antinoopolis where she was associated with Khnum; a helper of women in child-birth.

Horus (Haroeris, Harpocrates, Harsiesis, Re-Harakhty): The falcon-deity, originally the sky-god, identified with the king during his lifetime. Known more importantly as the son of Osiris and Isis. Horus was also the avenger of his father Osirius, who was killed by Set. The eye of Horus came from a myth of his battles where Horus gave up his right eye in battle. Since then the Eye of Horus, has come to represent strength, vigor, and self-sacrifice. His cult-centers were in many places, Behdet in the Delta, Hierakonpolis and Edfu in Upper Egypt.

Imhotep (Imouthes): The deified chief minister of Djoser, and architect of the Step Pyramid; in the Late Period venerated as the god of learning and medicine; represented as a seated man holding an open papyrus; equated by the Greeks with Asklepios.

Isis: Isis is known as the divine mother, and as wife of Osiris and mother of Horus; Isis is one of the four great protector goddesses (Bast, Nephythes, and Hathor), guarding coffins and Canopic jars. Isis is sister of Nephthys with whom she acted as a divine mourner for the dead, and is divinely represented by the Ankh.

In the Late Period Philae was her principal cult-center. She is also known as The Queen of Heaven (similar to Astarte), and rules over all matters concerning life, mothering, and sorcery. In the origin myth of Re and the world, it was written that she found out Re's name by enchanting a poisonous snake to bite him. The snake bit Re, and Isis could only heal him by knowing Re's true name. By knowing Re's name, she then had power equal to him and was then given all of her magical power and was thenceforth known as the divine sorceress. Another of the Isian myths concerns, both Isis, Osiris, and Horus. In this myth, Set kills Osiris and scatters his body in fourteen pieces around the world. Isis goes to find these pieces. After she find all of the peices, she reassembles Osiris and he comes back to life for one night during which Isis conceives their son, Horus. Osiris then becomes Lord of the Dead. Horus was given birth to and was committed to avenging his fathers death by killing Set. Isis from then on lived as the divine mourner on earth and in heaven.

Khepri: The scarab-beetle god, identified with Re as a creator-god; often represented as a beetle within the sun-disk.

Khnum: Ram-headed god of Elephantine, god of the Cataract-region; thought to have molded man on a potter's wheel.

Khons: The moon-god, represented as a man; with Amun and Mut as father and mother, forming the Theban triad.

Maat: Goddess of truth, right, and orderly conduct; represented as a woman with an ostrich-feather on her head. It is said that in the judgement of the dead she holds the scales which weigh the human heart.

Min: The primeval god of Coptos; later revered as a god of fertility, and closely associated with Amun; represented as an ithyphallic human statue, holding a flagellum.

Month (Munt): Originally the local deity of Hermonthis, just south of Thebes; later the war-god of the Egyptian king; represented as falcon-headed.

Mut (Mutt): The divine wife of Amun; cult-center at Asheru, south of the main temple of Amen-Re at Karnak; originally a vulture-goddess, later represented usually as a woman.

Nefertum: The god of the lotus, and hence of unguents; worshipped at Memphis as the son of Ptah and Sakhmet; represented as a man with a lotus-flower head-dress.

Neheb-kau: A serpent deity of the underworld, sometimes represented with a man's body and holding the eye of Horus.

Neith (Net): Goddess of Sais; represented as a woman wearing the red crown; her emblem, a shield with crossed arrows; one of the four 'protector'-goddesses who guarded coffins and Canopic jars; identified by the Greeks with Athena.

Nekhbet: Vulture-goddess of Nekheb (modern El-Kab); tutelary deity of Upper Egypt, sometimes appearing on the royal diadem beside the cobra (Edjo).

Nephthys (Nebet-het): Sister of Isis; one of the four 'protector'-goddesses, who guarded coffins and Canopic jars; with Isis acted as mourner for Osiris and hence for other dead people; represented as a woman.

Nun (Nu): god of the primeval chaos, the Nu was also seen as the primeval water from which the gods, earth, and humans were created from, i.e. the chaos from which order was created.

Nut (Nuit): the sky-goddess, wife of Geb, the earth-god; represented as a woman, her naked body is curved to form the arch of heaven.

Onuris (Anhur): God of This in Upper Egypt; the divine huntsman; represented as a man.

Osiris (Asar): The god of the underworld, identified as the king of the dead; also a god of the inundation and vegetation; represented as a mummified king; principal cult-center, Abydos.Osiris is seen as the great judge of the dead.

Ptah: Creator-god of Memphis, represented as a man, mummiform, possibly originally as a statue; the patron god of craftsmen; equated by the Greeks with Hephaestus.

Ptah-seker-osiris: Composite deity, incorporating the principal gods of creation, death, and after-life; represented like Osiris as a mummified king.

Qadesh: Goddess of Syrian origin, often represented as a woman standing on a lion's back.

Re (Ra): The sun-god of Heliopolis; head of the great ennead, supreme judge; often linked with other gods aspiring to universality, e.g.

Amen-Re, Sobk-Re; represented as falcon-headed. Seem as the father of the gods, it was from him that all the gods and goddesses were created. He is also known by three aspects, which correspond to the positions of the sun, Amen at dawn, Re in the evening, and Set at dusk.

Re-harakhty: A god in the form of a falcon, embodying the characteristics of Re and Horus (here called 'Horus of the Horizon').

Renenutet (Ernutet, Thermuthis): Goddess of harvest and fertility; represented as a snake or a snake-headed woman.

Reshef (Reshpu): God of war and thunder, of Syrian origin.

Sekhmet: (Sakhmet) A lion-headed goddess worshipped in the area of Memphis; wife of Ptah; regarded as the bringer of destruction to the enemies of Re.

Sarapis: a god introduced into Egypt in the Ptolemaic Perod having the characteristics of Egyptian (Osiris) and Greek (Zeus) gods; represented as a bearded man wearing the modius head-dress; the Egyptian writing of the (i.e. Osiris-Apis) may not signify the true origin of this god.

Satis (Satet): A goddess of the Island of Siheil in the Cataract-region; represented as a woman wearing the white crown with antelope horns; the daughter of Khnum and Anukis.

Selkis (Selkit, Selkhet, Serqet): A scorpion-goddess, identified with the scorching heat of the sun; one of the four 'protector'-goddesses, guarding coffins and Canopic jars; shown sometimes as a woman with a scorpion on her head.

Seshat: The goddess of writing; the divine keeper of royal annals; represented as a woman.

Seth (Set, Sutekh): The god of storms and violence; identified with many animals, including the pig, ass, okapi, and hippopotamus; represented as an animal of unidentified type; brother of Osiris and his murderer; the rival of Horus; equated by the Greeks with Typhon.

Shu: The god of air; with Tefnut, forming the first pair of gods in the Heliopolitan ennead; shown often as a man separating Nut (sky) from Geb (earth).

Sobk (Sebek, Suchos): The crocodile-god, worshipped throughout Egypt, but especially in the Faiyum, and at Gebelein and Kom Ombo in Upper Egypt.

Sokaris (Sokar, Seker): A falcon-headed god of the necropolis; cult-center in Memphis.

Sopdu: The ancient falcon-god of Saft el-Henna in the Delta; a warrior-god, protector of the eastern frontier; represented often as an Asiatic warrior.

Sothis (Sepdet): The dog-star Sirius (see the constellation Canis), defined as a goddess; shown as a woman with a star on her head.

Tatjenen: The primeval earth-god of Memphis; later identified with Ptah.

Tefnut: The goddess of moisture; with Shu forming the first pair of the Heliopolitan ennead.

Thoeris (Taurt, Taweret): The hippopotamus-goddess; a beneficent deity, the patron of woman in child-birth.

Thoth: the ibis-headed god of Hermopolis; the scribe of the gods, the inventor of writing, and the great god of all knowledge; the ape as well as the ibis are sacred to him. In the judgment of the dead he was the scribe who recorded the confessions and affirmations of the dead on his scrolls, and also kept a record of who went into paradise and who was eaten by the dogs of judgment.

Unnefer (Wenen-nefer, Onnophris): A name meaning 'he who is continually happy', given to Osiris after his resurrection.

Wepwawet (Upuaut): The jackal-god of Asyut in Middle Egypt; a god of the necropolis and an avenger of Osiris.

To read more on the 96 Gods and Goddesses of Egypt:

http://www.nemo.nu/ibisportal/0egyptintro/1egypt/index.htm

{\"I have the Power now, no questions, no justifications!\"}

Gender:
Posts: 573
Re: The Goddesses and Gods of Ancient Egypt
« Reply #2 on: Oct 14th, 2003, 4:59pm »

Khobahlt: Khobbie, Khob, Mahnti, Mahnt and\"Hey You\"!
Egyptian God of Video Games. Thought to be the pivotal figure behind the highest scores and scorers of history.

" "13";"2";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Sep-11 10:30 pm
To: ALL (2 of 3)

The MetaPhorum!: ~Phacts~&~Phantasies!~ TheMetaPhorumAstrology From: Bloodgeon 11/15/2003 2:20 pm To: ALL 103.1 The Metaverse!
« Egyptian Mythology »
The Metaverse!
Religions/Mythologies: Metaversal Home of All Gods!
/\\Egyptian/\\Mythology!/\\ (Moderator: Metaphorm)

Egyptian Mythology
Pages: 1
Ngilah
Egyptian Mythology«

Mythology is defined as a collection of interrelated stories of a given culture.

Myths tend to describe the creation of the world and give a culture an understanding of the events of nature and the world around them.

Myths are also generated to tell the story of the first people to inhabit the earth.

These people are elevated to gods and goddesses, which usually associate them as having supernatural and special powers. Myths also express the values or beliefs of a culture, and every culture studied has their own myths distinctive to their group.

Ancient Egyptians tried to understand their place in the universe and their mythology centers itself on nature, the earth, sky, moon, sun, stars, and the Nile River. Heliopolis, the City of the Sun, is located in the ruins of Yunu in northeast Cairo.

This is where the cosmic creation of Egyptian myth began. Ancient Egyptian mythology states that in the beginning of time everything began with Nu. Nu is the description of what the planet was before land appeared. Nu was a vast area of swirling watery chaos and as the floods receded the land appeared. The first god to appear out of this watery mess was Atum.

This myth was probably created because of the large source of water from the Nile River. In one interpretation, Atum is credited with the fertile land that springs up when the water's of the Nile River recedes, because he was the first to arise out of the watery mess.

Atum emerged from Nu as the sun god at the beginning of time and is the creator of the world. Since Atum was all alone he chose to mate with his shadow. The god Atum was known as the `Great He-She´, and a bisexual. The ancient Egyptians found this act acceptable, as they found all types of sexual orientations acceptable. Atum gave birth to two children by spitting out his son (Shu) and vomiting up is daughter (Tefnut). Shu represented the air and the principles of life and Tefnut represented rain and principles of order. The three remained in the watery chaos of Nu and after some time Atum was separated from his children.

When they were finally reunited, Atum wept with tears of joy. When his tears hit the ground men grew and he then began to create the world.

Shu and Tefnut later gave birth to Geb, the god of the earth in which the throne of the Pharaoh would be decided. Nut was also born from Tefnut and Shu as the Goddess of the sky, the separator between earth and Nu. Geb and Nut then gave birth to Osiris, Isis, Seth, and Nephthys. In ancient Egyptian mythology there is an established kinship of the gods and goddesses.

Atum is known also as Khepri, the great scarab beetle, Ra-Harakhte, the winged-solar disk, Ra, the midday sun, Aten, the solar-disk, or Horus on the Horizon. By whatever name you call him Atum, is the one and only creator in the universe.

The sun god Atum travels along Nut during the day and then is swallowed by Nut at night. At dawn it is seen as Nut giving birth to Atum as the sky opens up to the light.

One of the most famous Egyptian myths is the myth of Osiris.

Osiris has been credited with many different titles, god of fertility, king of the dead, god of agriculture, and god of the underworld, controller of the Nile floods, and the rising and setting of the sun. All of these titles have one thing in common: life, death, and rebirth because the myth of Osiris is attributed to his life, murder, and eternal life after death. The myth of Osiris begins when he sets out to spread law and order across the land and to teach people how to farm.

Because Osiris was a powerful king and popular with the people, his jealous brother lured him into a coffin and sealed his fate with molten lead. Seth then sent him down the Nile River in the coffin.

Later the coffin washed ashore in Lebanon and a tree encased it. A king of Lebanon was impressed by the size of the tree and cut it down and put it in his palace.

Isis was the wife and sister to Osiris who gave birth to Horus and was the protector of the dead.

When she received the news of Osiris's death, she knew the dead could not rest without a proper burial. Isis searched and found Osiris' body and brought it back to Egypt. Seth found this unacceptable and cut Osiris into many pieces and scattered them throughout Egypt. Isis set out again and had all the pieces she found made into wax duplicates.

All the wax duplicates were placed in the temple to be worshipped.

Isis preserved his body with linen bandages, used her magic and breathed life back into Osiris.

Osiris then rose as a God-King and he chose to rule the underworld.

This is where the roots of mummification and rebirth into the afterworld began.

Ngilah
Re: Egyptian Mythology
Ancient Egyptian gods:

Amen (Amon): Amen has his origin in Thebes. He is known as Lord of Creation and Protector of the Poor and Weak.
His name means \"The Hidden One.\" He is considered the father of all gods; thus he does not have a mother or father but is husband to Mut, the Great Mother.

During the Middle Kingdom, Uast became the state capitol of Egypt and since Amen was the central god of Uast, he became the state god and was later combined with Ra (another creator god) to become Amen-Ra, and worshipped as the King of Gods. Egyptians represent him in art and statue as man or the sun. His sacred animals were the ram and the goose, which were bred and kept at all of his temples throughout Egypt.

Bastet: The Egyptian cat-headed goddess, Bastet was strictly a solar deity until the arrival of Greek influence on Egyptian society, when she became a lunar goddess due to the Greeks associating her with their Artemis. Dating from the 2nd Dynasty (roughly 2890-2686 BC), Bastet was originally portrayed as either a wild desert cat or as a lioness, and only became associated with the domesticated feline around 1000 BC. She was commonly paired with Sakhmet, the lion-headed goddess of Memphis, Wadjet, and Hathor. Bastet was the \"Daughter of Ra\", a designation that placed her in the same ranks as such goddesses as Maat and Tefnut. Additionally, Bastet was one of the \"Eyes of Ra\", the title of an \"avenger\" god who is sent out specifically to lay waste to the enemies of Egypt and her gods.

Geb: Geb was the \"Father Earth\" or the earth-god. He is said to live forever below his wife Nut, the goddess of the sky. He is the brother and husband of Nut and together they had five children.

Geb's sign is the goose, which is thought, according to the mythological creation story, to be the form that the creator took on the day of creation.

Geb is thought to be the first ruler of Kemet and some of the ancient king-lists have Geb and his immediate descendants as actual physical kings.

Horus (Heru, Haroeris, Harpocrates): Horus is the son of Isis and Osiris. When Osiris was killed by Set, Horus set out to avenge him. He is the god of the living and lord of the heavens. His name means \"He who is above.\"

Horus is represented as a falcon or hawk-headed deity because of his status as god of the sky and horizon. There are several myths about the eye or eyes of Horus.

One source says that Horus gave up his right eye in battle and that it represents strength, vigor and self-sacrifice.

Another source simply says that one of his eyes represents the sun and the other represents the moon. During the time he was worshipped in Ancient Egypt, his cult-centers were Behdet in Lower Egypt, and Hierakonpolis and Edfu in Upper Egypt.

Ma'at (Maat): Ma'at was the goddess of truth, justice and harmony. Ra, the sun god, was her father. Offerings were often made of Ma'at to the gods by the pharaohs to show that they wanted to keep harmony and justice on the earth. Ma'at is represented as a woman with an ostrich feather on her head. A vizier, who was a high official in the government and advisor to the pharaohs, were often known as \"priests of Ma'at\".

Nut (Nuit): Nut was the goddess of the sky. She created the casing over the earth with her body. She was the sister and wife of Geb, the god of the earth. Shu, the god of air, separated nut and Geb when he lifted Nut up to become the canopy over the earth. Ancient Egyptians believed that in the evenings, Nut would swallow Ra, the sun god, and in the mornings give birth to him. Nut appears as a goddess wearing a blue dress covered in stars.

Ptah: Ptah is the creator god of Memphis, the capital of the dual Kemetic for most of its history.

Ptah is symbolized as a mummified man wearing a skullcap and holding the symbols of life, power, and stability in his arms. Ptah is sometimes seen as an abstract form of the self-created one, who effected creation through the actions of his heart and gave all things the breath of life with his tongue. Ptah represents the sun at the time when it begins to rise above the horizon and or right after it has risen. As early as the Second Dynasty, he is regarded as a creator god. He is the patron of painters, builders. architects, artists and sculptors. It was Ptah who built the boats for the souls of the dead to use in the afterlife. In the Book of the Dead we learn that he was a master architect, and responsible for building the framework of the universe. It was said that Ptah created the great metal plate that was the floor of heaven and the roof of the sky. He also constructed the supports that held it up.

Some creation legends say that by speaking the names of all things, Ptah caused them to be.
Ra (Re): Another deity represented in human form with the head of a falcon, like Horus. Ra, like Amen, is also thought to be a god of creation. His cult-center is Heliopolis, where he is known as the sun god and supreme judge. Ra is also known as the father of kings and the most important gods.

Followers of Ra believe that life on earth was created from the tears of Ra as he wept at the beauty of mankind and his creation. He is considered a living god during the day and a dead one at night. He is born at dawn as a small child, an adult in prime at midday and an old man at sunset. He dies at dark and is reborn again at next dawn.

Seth: Seth was the god of wind and storms and ruler of the deserts. He is seen as the one who brings chaos to Egypt and is the enemy of Osiris and Horus. Nephthys is the wife to Seth and sister to Osiris, Isis, and Seth. She is usually depicted as a protector of the dead. From Osiris and Isis comes Horus, the King of Egypt.
Tawaret (Thoeris, Taurt): Tawaret, or \"The Great One\", is the goddess who protects women during their pregnancy and childbirth. Often temples were built to honor gods and goddesses but Tawaret was a goddess who was worshiped by ancient Egyptians in their own homes. Often an amulet of Tawaret was worn or at least kept in a person's home to keep them safe from evil spells or actions.

Tawaret has the head of a hippopotamus and arms and legs of a lion. She has the back and tail of a crocodile and the breasts and stomach of a pregnant woman.

These are the gods with whom ancient Egyptians had a relationship for thousands of years. By careful study of the gods and the myths that surround them, we can develop a picture in our own minds of what the ancient Egyptians were like as emotional beings. We know what they did on an everyday basis. We know what kind of jobs they worked, how they ate, their medical technology, their government, and how they created their magnificent monuments. But within the hieroglyphs containing the myths of the gods we can learn what motivated the Egyptians spiritual lives. We can learn why they did the things that they did, what the purpose of the pyramids were, their relationship with the pharaoh, their burial practices and their belief in the afterlife.

Maybe the ancient Egyptians knew something about the afterlife or the realm of the spirits that we don't know, or will never know, unless we take the time to understand their mythology as they understood it.

ref.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/faq/blfaq-mythology.htm
Pages: 1

(I have it on good knowledge that BarnCat is a furrivent follower of Bastet, Sehkmet & Sehlket lol.)

(Currently cycling back through my Vampire Chronicles books, now on Pandora, an ancient greek vampire who in mortal life was known as Lydia and was an Initiate to the Temple of Isis, but she's about to find out some of her old beliefs are more real and and yet still dangerously mistaken than she could have ever imagined.)

(Eat your heart out Anne Rice, how's that for a bookend lol, Incidentally Pandora eats the hearts of all her bloodvictims, maybe thinking she herself had her heart eaten out. But then this is a topic for another thread lol, herein we Walk Like an Egyptian.)

" "13";"3";"

From: Metaphorm Staff I Sep-11 10:35 pm
To: _Kauket unread (3 of 3)

Kuk
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Kauket)

Kuk (also spelled as Keku) is the deification of the primordial concept of darkness in Egyptian mythology. In the Ogdoad cosmogony, his name meant darkness. As a concept, Kuk was viewed as androgynous, his female form being known as Kauket (also spelled as Keket), which is simply the female form of the word Kuk. Like all 4 dualistic concepts in the Ogdoad, Kuk's male form was depicted as a frog, or as a frog-headed man, and the female form as a snake, or a snake-headed woman. As a symbol of darkness, Kuk also represented obscurity and the unknown, and thus chaos.[citation needed] Also,

Kuk was seen as that which occurred before light, thus was known as the bringer-in of light.

Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuk

Categories: All articles with unsourced statements | Articles with unsourced statements since April 2007 | Creator goddesses | Creator gods | Egyptian goddesses | Egyptian gods | Night gods | Night goddesses

(Here you go, a Metaphorum Doorprize, awarded just because the name intrigued me lol apologies if you were trying to lay low.)

" "14";"1";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 11/14/2003 7:21 am
To: ALL (1 of 7)

The Metaverse!
« Norse Iconography »

The Metaverse!
Religions/Mythologies:
Metaversal Home of All Gods!
Norse Mythology! Gods of the Vikings and Nordic Peoples!

Thors Hammer Mjollnir
Norse Iconography
I would like to discuss symbology and iconography of old norse gods items and representation of their powers. I have chosen thors hammer as a starting point because alot of people know thors hammer.

What does a hammer represent to all of you, if you had a hammer that created lightning and thunder how would you use it?
Psi

Metaphorm
Re: Norse Iconography
»
I'd SWING IT WITH MY MOODS!! HAIYAAAH!!

ANd anyone have a problem with that? Screw you IM A GOD!!! Bring it [™þçª]!!

Wow I gotta lower my caffeine dosage...,

" "14";"2";"

From: Bloodgeon Staff 11/14/2003 7:31 am
To: Bloodgeon (2 of 7)

{Actually that was maybe a dosage of a different liquid that induced that Viking-like Battlemood. Here's a...little, lol.. more on this topic.}

The Metaverse!
Religions/Mythologies: Metaversal Home of All Gods!
Norse Mythology! Gods of the Vikings and Nordic Peoples (Moderator: Metaphorm)
Norse Mythology

Ngilah
Norse Mythology

Sif

In Norse Mythology Sif is the wife of Thor and as such one could justifiably expect her to hold a high position among the Asynjur. To the contrary Sif is bearly mentioned in the Eddas. In Snorri Sturluson's 'Gylfaaginning' she is not even mentioned in his list of the Norse Goddesses. Sif's name means 'relative', presumably an abbreviation of 'wife of Thor' and on this evidence some historians consider that she was invented by the late pagan poets to fill a gap in the Aesir's family tree.

However two myths survive which suggest that Sif had a more important role than simply an ornament in Bilskirnir. In 'Skaldskaparmal' (The language of Poetry) Snorri Sturluson explains why the kenning 'Sif's Hair' is used in place of the word gold. In this famous tale Loki cut off all Sif's hair for a joke but Thor became very angry and threatened to kill him. To save his own life Loki promised to get the black elves to make Sif a magical wig which would grow like her own hair. Loki succeeded in obtaining the gold wig and by trickery managed to commission many treasures including the hammer Mjolnir and the spear Gungnir. If this kenning was well established in Snorri's time it suggests that this tale is of some antiquity.

The cutting and restoration of the golden hair suggests a representation of the corn harvest, a golden crop which is cut and grows anew. If one was to read between the lines even further Sif would become a fertility goddess, similar to Demeter of classical legend.
There is however a further concept to consider. It is common in early polytheistic religions for a sky god to be coupled with an earth goddess so that the two together bring fertility.

Thor is the most obvious sky god among the Aesir and lightning was believed to make the fields fertile. It would therefore make sense for the remnants of the sky/earth union to exist in the marriage of Thor and Sif. It is worth remembering that the last vestige of the Earth Mother in Norse Mythology, Jord, is only mentioned in connection with her son Thor. On this evidence I consider it safe to assume that Sif is a fertility goddess, although it is unlikely that she was actively worshipped during the late Viking period.

In the second myth Sif takes a more active part. In Locasenna from the Elder Edda, Loki returns to the god's banquet after being banished for killing one of the hosts servants.

Eager for revenge Loki insults the gods and goddesses, accusing the men of being cowards and the women of being flirtatious (including Gefjion goddess of virgins!). In the poem Sif approaches Loki with a mead cup saying that as she is being civil towards him, he can say no evil against her. In return Loki calls her a 'man hating woman' and accuses her of making Thor a cuckold. Whether Loki was supposed to be spreading lies or referring to lost myths is unclear, but it is interesting that Sif takes a major role in this tale when she is mentioned so little elsewhere.

Sif is described as the mother of the god Ull in several sources and he is definitely not numbered among Thor's children. Why this reference exists is a mystery, either a myth once existed to explain Ull's birth or Snorri and his colleagues were equally confused by this reference after several hundred years of Christianity.

A passing mention is made to Sif in Snorri's Skaldskaparmal where the giant Hrungnir threatens to kill the gods and drag off Freyja and Sif to his own home. Freyja is often included in the myths as being highly desirable to the giants but it is the only such reference to Sif. Freyja and Sif are both noted for their great beauty and Ellis Davidson has suggested that they are manifestations of the same goddess.
I consider this to be highly unlikely as they belong to different households among the gods, the Aesir and the Vanir. These probably resulted in a merger of two different tribes of similar religions, long before the Viking Age. Far greater confusion exists over the attributes of Frigga and Freyja for the same reason.

More evidence for a cult of Sif survives in the old Lapp religion which was recorded in the seventeenth century. The Lapps worshipped a thunder god called Hora Galles, a corruption of the Norse 'Thor Karl' meaning 'Old Man Thor'. Hora Galles had a wife called Ravdna, a name which seems to be borrowed from the Norse word 'raun' the rowan tree. The Lapps believed that the red berries of the rowan were sacred to Ravdna. The use of Norse words among the Lapps is surely evidence that they were originally titles of the equivalent Norse deities. This is supported in Thor's case as the Scandinavians have used the expression 'the Old Man's out riding' to describe thundery weather to this century. The rowan is also held sacred to Thor and was named 'Thor's Salvation' as he was said to have been saved from drowning by grasping a rowan branch. It is also interesting to note that Thor's sacred colour red is also sacred to Ravdna.

Sif appears to have partly filled the gap left by the Germanic earth goddess, Nerthus. She was possibly worshipped on a small scale as a patron of the harvest but to a lesser extent than Frey and Thor.

Sources:

Poetic Edda, Snorri Sturluson, Trans. A Faulkes.

Poems of the Elder Edda, Trans. P Terry.

Myth and Religion of the North, Turville-Petre.

Scandinavian Mythology, H R Ellis Davidson.

Dictionary of Northern Mythology, Rudolf Simek

« Last Edit: Oct 18th, 2003, 08:05am by Ngilah » Logged

" "14";"3";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-17 1:26 am
To: ALL (3 of 7)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Natives of Asgard from Marvel Comics' Thor, based of the gods of Norse mythology (see Category:Norse deities).
Pages in category \"Marvel Comics Asgardians\"

A
Asgard (Marvel Comics)
Asgardians (Marvel Comics)

B
Balder (Marvel Comics)

E
Enchantress (Marvel Comics)
Executioner (comics)

F
Fandral
Frey (Marvel Comics)
Frigga (Marvel Comics)

H
Heimdall (Marvel Comics)
Hela (Marvel Comics)
Hermod (Marvel Comics)

H cont.
Hoder (Marvel Comics)
Hogun
Hrimhari

I
Idunn (Marvel Comics)

K
Karnilla

L
Loki (comics)
Lorelei (Asgardian)

M
Magni (Marvel Comics)

O
Odin (Marvel Comics)

S
Sif (Marvel Comics)
Sigyn (Marvel Comics)

T
Thena (MC2)

T cont.
Thialfi (Marvel Comics)
Thor (Marvel Comics)
Thor (comics)
Thor Girl
Tyr (Marvel Comics)

U
Ultimate Thor

V
Valkyrie (Marvel Comics)
Vidar (Marvel Comics)
Volla (Marvel Comics)
Volstagg

W
Warriors Three

Retrieved from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Marvel_Comics_Asgardians
Categories: Marvel Comics deities | Marvel Comics immortals | Marvel Comics characters with superhuman strength | Norse mythology in comics

[Twouldst behoove us all to bone up on our Norsologies, as there appears to be the slim chance of a Thor movie coming out in late 2007! Well .. Marvel's version at least, as well as these are as well also.]

" "14";"4";"

From: peace8047 Aug-17 2:06 am
To: CryptoKnight (4 of 7)

EXCELLENT

" "14";"5";"

From: HenryDurga Aug-17 5:01 am
To: CryptoKnight (5 of 7)

And \"ZAGREOSTAFF\"?????

lol

" "14";"6";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-23 11:28 am
To: HenryDurga (6 of 7)

[More like a False staff lol Volstagg is the bulging image of Shakespeare's bumbling protagonist Falstaff, a character and an archetype frequently used in his plays!]

" "14";"7";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff Aug-23 11:31 am
To: peace8047 (7 of 7)

[I'll be watching peace too lol if he shows up in the movie anywhere.]

" "15";"1";"

From: MotherCon 9/13/2004 7:02 pm
To: ALL (1 of 9)

\"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?\"

A question given in a recent chemistry exam.

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant, but fell short in producing a demonstration argument.

One student, however, wrote this:

\"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

Considering then the postulate presented to me by Teresa K. during my first year that \"it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you\" and taking into account the fact that over two years later, I still have not succeeded in having relations with her; then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.\"

The student received the only \"A\" given.

" "15";"2";"

From: gecho 9/13/2004 7:18 pm
To: MotherCon (2 of 9)

what a cheery look on the after-life. lol. the teacher, er professor (drat college!) was definitely male, eh? brilliant kid, anyways. :) very cool.

" "15";"3";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 9/14/2004 12:05 am
To: ALL (3 of 9)

*Male... Kid... yeesh. lol. Sounds like a deal to me, but most people talk to think Hell is in the right here and now and surviving it in one piece assures a heavenly afterlife.*

" "15";"4";"

From: ZAGREO_RUFUS 9/15/2004 9:25 am
To: Stargoyle (4 of 9)

YOU ARE HELLBOY!!!!

I TOLD YA!

lol

" "15";"5";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 9/16/2004 12:09 pm
To: ZAGREO_RUFUS (5 of 9)

*Don't let that get around, or I'll feed you to The2HellCats, lol!

That must make you... ZagSapien?*

" "15";"6";"

From: ZAGREO_RUFUS 9/17/2004 7:57 am
To: Stargoyle (6 of 9)

WAIT A MINUTE, STARSAPIEN!!!!! THE2HELLCATS ARE MY FRIENDS! I CANNOT BE FOOD FOR THEM! WHY DONT YOU USE SOMEONE HATEFUL? lol

NOT ME! NO!!!!

lol

ZagSapien Fleming Lee

" "15";"7";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 9/17/2004 8:12 am
To: ZAGREO_RUFUS (7 of 9)

*LOL, the arent hateful, theyre hungry for hispanic cuisines, er citizens, whichever.*

" "15";"8";"

From: ZAGREO_RUFUS 9/17/2004 6:32 pm
To: Stargoyle (8 of 9)

ANYWAY!!!!

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS:

MEOW!!!!

lol

Zagreo Rufus Fleming Lee

" "15";"9";"

From: Stargoyle Staff Aug-19 8:17 pm
To: ALL (9 of 9)

*It's Soooo Hot!

The birds have to use potholders
to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined
by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle
makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C)
and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in August
it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get
sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand
opening the car door.

You break into a sweat
the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is,
\"What if I get knocked out
and end up lying on the pavement
and cook to death?\"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground,
so all you have to do is pull one out
and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens
crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

STAY COOL!*

" "16";"1";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/12/2006 6:36 am
To: ALL (1 of 70)

MoTD Petition for Help Legend of the Green Dragon
New to LoGD?
Create a character
Game Functions
Forgotten Password
List Warriors
Daily News
Other Info
About LoGD
Game Setup Info
LoGD Net
OwlMoon's
Drgnrdr's
Kali's
Never forget
Interests
DragonGumbo
Other
(#) Citizen Blogs
Legend of the Green Dragon


Welcome to Chilly's Legend of the Green Dragon, a browser based role playing game, based on Seth Able's Legend of the Red Dragon. We are a young kingdom but we're growing by leaps and bounds! Join us and slay the formidable Green Dragon and maybe make some friends along the way!
The current time in Dumgledorf is 9:09 am.
Next new game day in: 2h, 58m, 02s (real time)
Please welcome the newest resident of the realm: Farmboy Azarcan
The current Battle Arena Leader is: Celestial Warlord Tarl.
The most recent warrior to destroy the Penguin Overlord is: Darklord Incubus
The most recent hero of the realm is: Amazon Aymee
The current Tournament Leader is: Druid Kylara of Atlantica.
Latest News
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Today the government spent 17659723 gold on kingdom security.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Azouth has been slain in the forest by Black Knight of The Vale.
\"Maybe next time you won't be so cocky!\" laughs Black Knight of The Vale
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Today's weather is expected to be cool with blue skies.
Enter your name and password to enter the realm.


Username: Password:
Welcome to Chilly's Legend of the Green Dragon!
Game server running version: 1.0.6
Current Hit Count: 55,610
Quote: Cherry Lovin Chica Danica sneaks caterpillars into unwanted places cause she can!
--Anonymous
Characters Online
(0 Player):
none
To make donations to this site, please click on the admin link. Thanks so much!
Monthly Goal: $0 of $50 (0%)

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Game Design and Code: Copyright © 2002-2005, Eric Stevens & JT Traub
Design: ailean skin by Ben Wong, based on a concept by Ailean View PHP Source
Version: 1.0.6

Legend of the Green Dragon
Address: http://chillywhack.com/dragon/home.php?

]It's looking like a definite possibility. I'm just concerned that this game might be run by kids, which makes for some very catalystic administration, lol. I'll give it a go sometime though.[

" "16";"2";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/21/2006 6:00 pm
To: ALL (2 of 70)

[I'm having some oddities and troubles staying logged in or trying to navigate around in there, if it continues I'll just cut outta there and move on. It's still looking interesting though, I'm a Farmhand Troll armored in flannel pajamas, lol and armed with a spade!]

" "16";"3";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/22/2006 10:54 pm
To: ALL (3 of 70)

The Swamps of Glukmoore Legend of the Green Dragon
MoTD
Ye Olde Mail: 0 new, 2 old
Petition for Help
—Village Gates—
[-]
Forest
Slay Other Warriors
Sleep in the fields
Battle Arena
Travel
Colliseum
Around the bend
Lost Ruins
(*) Help Me, I'm Lost!
—Barshem Gud—
[-]
Bluspring's Warrior Training
JCP's Hunter Lodge
The Gauntlet
Spooky Hut
City Hall
—Da Gud Stuff—
[-]
MightyE's Weaponry
Pegasus Armor
Ye Olde Bank
Ze Gypsy Tent
Funk & Wagnalls
Glukmoore jail
Mayweed's Magical Potions
Sichae's Apple Shop
Booger's Spa
Glukmoore Trading Post
Sweet Cinity's Gem Shop
—Eatz n' Such—
[-]
The Gardens
Clan Halls
Glukmoore Casino
—Da Infoz—
[-]
(?) F.A.Q. (newbies start here)
Daily News
List Warriors
Who's married to whom
Staff List
—Other—
[-]
Preferences
Chilly Forums - NEW
(#) Citizen Blogs
—Interests—
[-]
OwlMoon's
DragonGumbo
—Tournament—
[-]
Tournament Center
Tournament Scores
[-]


[-]
Glukmoore, Home of the Trolls
You are standing in a pile of mud, in the heart of a vast swamp. Around you are the fetid skin-covered hovels that trolls call home. Well actually, they call them 'ughrrnk', but that's a bit hard on the throats of non-trolls. Nearby some local peasants squabble over the rapidly decaying remains of the morning's hunt. Perched atop one of the huts, a badly scarred troll smears indescribable filth over his home's surface in an ill fated attempt to water proof it.
[-]
Based on what's left of the morning's kill, you can tell that it is 7:02 pm.
[-]
Bellows and noises around you let you know that it is Kendaei, Estoran 28, 1002.
[-]
Over the buildings of the town, the moon is visible. The moon Vordus is half full and waning.
[-]
The local villagers are busy erecting a statue to the latest dragon killer of their community, Marchioness Squishy.
[-]
Latest News
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Valiant Valkyrie Kalisiin to advance to level 5 after 4 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Playful Pandora to advance to level 4 after 4 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[-]
Picking their teeth with a sliver of bone is Farmboy andyg, still covered with bits of shell from the hatchery.
[-]
Outside the Clan Halls you can see Sativ selling Christmas trees to clans!
The biggest, sparkliest, twinkliest tree belongs to the Gallant Order of Dragon Slayers clan!
Many of the other halls, also sport beautifully decorated trees in their windows.
[-]
A Magical Potion Shoppe sits in the village.
[-]
Today's weather is expected to be hot and sunny.
[-]
Who Else is here:
No one..
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Nearby some villagers squabble:
[-]
A Gargoyle flies overhead looking for prey.
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore squabbles, \"Heya hiya howya there people! I have just up and arrived.\"
Speak

<< First Unseen < Previous Refresh Next > Last Page >>
[-]

-=-=Clickable Smilies=-=-

Vital Info
NameFarmboy Cobalt Manticore
Level5
Hitpoints50/50
Turns3
Attack10+2
Defense10
SpiritsHigh
AlignmentEvil
SpecialtyMystical Powers
Favor0
Player Kills0
RaceTroll
Personal Info
Gold608
Gems6
Experience1922
Home
CityGlukmoore
Charm0
Seen MasterNo
Next day0h 59m 30s
Souls
Equipment Info
WeaponGardening Hoe (5)
ArmorKnitted Socks (5)
InventoryOpen Inventory
Extra InfoFree Travel20
Dragonkills0Days Since DK4
Donation Points (Available)0
Donation Points (Total)0
DrunkenessSober
Player Fights (PVPs)4
Click and use
ItemsHealing Potions
FriendsFriend CountNone of your friends are logged-in.
BuffsTrollish Strength
The Absence of Proof is Not the Proof of Absence!

" "16";"4";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 4:08 am
To: ALL (4 of 70)

[I'm dead and loving it, lol.]


Land of the Shades Legend of the Green Dragon
MoTD
Ye Olde Mail: 0 new, 2 old
Petition for Help
—Places—
[-]
Read Gravestones
The Graveyard
Return to the news
(G) Haunt Esoterra
Ramius' Crystals
Log out
—Other—
[-]
(?) F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions)
Chilly Forums - NEW
(#) Citizen Blogs
—Interests—
[-]
OwlMoon's
DragonGumbo
—Things to do—
[-]
Take the tunnel
[-]


You walk among the dead now, you are a shade. Everywhere around you are the souls of those who have fallen in battle, in old age, and in grievous accidents. Each bears telltale signs of the means by which they met their end.
Their souls whisper their torments, haunting your mind with their despair:
A sepulchral voice intones, \"It is now 9:05 pm in the world above.\"
[-]
Quote: Apprentice Incubus runs out from Bluespring's flexing after whooping his master, \"WhooHoo!\"
--Anonymous
[-]
The atmosphere in Shades is currently raining fire and brimstone.
Nearby, some lost souls lament:
[-]
God of the Underworld Ramius says, \"I made a suit of flames just for you, Spiffy the Toad Squishy.\"
God of the Underworld Ramius says, \"Alright, who left the door to the above open? you're going to let the cold air in.\"
<FEAR> Marchioness Squishy runs around in the flame suit....
<FEAR> Marchioness Squishy despairs, \"it was me who left the door open...what you gonna do about it?\"
<GODS> Darklord Azarcan despairs, \"i want outta here : )\"
Sanguine Zingoleb despairs, \"But when it's good, it's really good...and when I hold you in my arms, baby...sometimes I feel like going down...\"
<WW> Lord Drakhaon Gavril floats around, Haven't been here in a long time...
God of the Underworld Ramius says, \"Captain Liselle, what is it with you and dying?\"
<DA> Amazon Aymee curls up near a headstone and catches a nap as she waits for new day
<GODS> Darklord Azarcan despairs, \"well i guess i wore out my welcome today : )\"
God of the Underworld Ramius says, \"You want to see me blow smoke out of my ears Peasant Azarcan?\"
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore despairs, \"I'm a trll farmboy shade tormenting thingy, where can this kinda thing go on my resume'?\"
Despair BuffsNone

" "16";"5";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 4:14 am
To: ALL (5 of 70)

Esoterra Legend of the Green Dragon
MoTD The Town of Esoterra
You are standing once again in the deserted ghost town, Esoterra. The strange silence no longer worries you.
Several tourists clutch each other in frightened silence, sensing rather than seeing you.
You move among them, almost invisible.
[-]
A dragon can be seen circling above the village, taunting those below
A dark shadow is cast on the ground as a dragon flies overhead
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore eerily moans, \"Yeah you better recognize the fear you're feeling that I'm giving to you as of right now, you windbags, lol.\"
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore eerily moans, \"Wait, a dragon? Ah ç®å¶! I'm only out exorcizing, get it? Jogging! Please don't eat my vapors!\"

" "16";"6";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 5:30 am
To: ALL (6 of 70)

[This game is just way too fun, funny! I'm all over the news, is this quixotic or just chaotic? The lands of the green dragon aint never seen anything like me.]

LoGD News Legend of the Green Dragon —You're dead, Jim!—
Most Recent MotD
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has been slain in the forest by Ghostly Wolfpack.
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore bangs his head against a stone...\"Stupid, stupid, stupid!\" he was heard to say.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Always cool, Farmboy Cobalt Manticore was seen walking around with a long string of toilet paper stuck to his foot.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has been destroyed by the Penguin Overlord.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has been resurrected by Ramius.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has been defeated in the graveyard by Batling.
\"ARRRGGGGGGG!!\" Farmboy Cobalt Manticore screams in frustration.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore unsuccessfully haunted Farmboy cool!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Valiant Valkyrie Kalisiin to advance to level 5 after 4 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Playful Pandora to advance to level 4 after 4 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, DragonKing to advance to level 3 after 4 days!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[I'm just blundering around man, lmao, fortune's fancy and fate's follies fun fun fun at any rate, Back To It! I goooo.]

" "16";"7";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 2:43 pm
To: ALL (7 of 70)

Referral Page Legend of the Green Dragon [Rewhat?]

Return to the Lodge [In a bit, rewhat?]

You will automatically receive 100 points for each person that you refer to this website who makes it to level 4. [Points applicable towards what?]

How does the site know that I referred a person? [Points?]

Easy! When you tell your friends about this site, give out the following link: [Points though.]
http://www.chillywhack.com/dragon/referral.php?r=Cobalt%20Manticore [Shoot, click it, it'll be fun!]

If you do, the site will know that you were the one who sent them here. When they reach level 4 for the first time, you'll get your points! [Level 4 is easy peasy I did it in just a few play sessions just on the Isle of Wen stage, rookie traiing area.]

Buffs
Wrapped in Chains (28 rounds left)
Trollish Strength [Oh yeah I appear to be bound to the dark lord Marius or whatever his name was for awhile longer, these chains make battle extremely difficult, and guarantee certain death unless I'm careful.]

" "16";"8";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:25 pm
To: ALL (8 of 70)

Town Library Legend of the Green Dragon

Starting Off
Aquiring an Alignment
Developing a Back Story
Generating a Personality
Customizing a Character
Weaving of Words
Examples of Word Weaving

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal
Starting Off
Well, there are several keys to a good Roleplay. A relationship between oneself and his/her character is a must. The better you can be your character, the more likely you are to become better at RP. Now, every good character has a background that sets up the mood for the character. Such as, \"Blank's village was destroyed when he was a child.\" This shall evoke a kind of, anger and resentment in this character. Fun, huh?

" "16";"9";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:27 pm
To: ALL (9 of 70)

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal

Aquiring an Alignment

This is choosing whether your character is good, evil or neutral.
This may make things more complicated, yet all the more fun.

A good character is bound to be nice and affectionate. While an evil character, wishes not to be around others. Keep these things in mind when developing a character of your own.

" "16";"10";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:30 pm
To: ALL (10 of 70)

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal

Developing a Back Story

Now, it gets a tad more fun. We shall take a look, more in-depth, in developing a characters past.

Most role-player's tend to choose a dark and dank past, as to it adds more options in a character. But, that is not always true. Take Sichae for example, she is kind and a wonderful person, yet, she came from a rough childhood. It all depends on the character's background, as to who they are today.

" "16";"11";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:32 pm
To: ALL (11 of 70)

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal

Generating a Personality

A character's personality, ties everything together. Most basic character's, their puppet-masters share the same personality. Whether they be too lazy, or that is just all the more comfortable for them.

Personality shall tie in with the character's alignment. Say for example, Johny is Evil. Well, Johny is most likely going to be sinister and condescending. He isn't going to be nice, he is going to be angry. Making sense?

" "16";"12";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:35 pm
To: ALL (12 of 70)

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal

Customizing a Character

Now, to make your character your own, you must come up with a certain image for a character.

Whether you decide to draw one out, or to come up with the specifics and leave it to imagination, it is all up to you. This customizing shall tie into your personality.

Say for example, Exodus is an Elf.

Well, elves be nature, tend to be kind and calm. So, you really aren't going to see a lot of Elvish Warlords, but they do come along.

It depends on the alignment of your character.

" "16";"13";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:37 pm
To: ALL (13 of 70)

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal

Weaving of Words

Your character has been constructed, it sits in the corner.
What now? Well, you must now begin to search for other RPers out there. You can find them lurking in message boards, RP Forums, MUDs and RPGs. Once you find a willing partner, begin to evoke a scene.

Let your words be imagination's playground. But, to be spellbinding and captivating, you musn't use plain everyday words. Look to http://thesaurus.reference.com for a thesaurus, or keep one handy at your desk.

" "16";"14";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 12/23/2006 3:43 pm
To: ALL (14 of 70)

The Art of Roleplay
Written by Sichae Saracen and Blackmyst Penarreal

Examples of Word Weaving

Blackmyst interjects, \"But Sichae, you must have an example...\". Yes, you are quite right Blackmyst. For example, 'The jaded woman glanced at his face, her blank look giving away nothing.' I would rather see something like this...'The jaded female glanced for a diminutive second at the stunning gent's visage. The anger and bitterness that burned within her was not evident in the cold expressionless gaze she offered him' Doesn't that sound better?

Blackmyst sets into a derelict chair, adjacent to the fireplace, \"Sichae, teach them about replacing words.\" Again, good show Blackmyst.
Okay, repeating words, such as fire every sentence, becomes rather redundant. Redundancy is a terrible way to RP. Now, pick up your thesaurus, and look for fire. You see, \"smoldering blaze, inferno.\"

Try to use there, replacing fire.

Now, let's try again. You overuse the word, \"hungry.\" What do you do? Thesaurus. You see as a synonym, \"wanton.\" Now, replace your overuse and you should be fine.

Blackmyst raises her hand. Sichae's eyes dash towards the newly risen hand. \"Sichae, what about the overuse of words? My, my, my, you are right. Okay, there are limits to the mind. Overusing the words, \"and, a, the, was\" can really wear on the eyes. Try using other words, instead of \"and\" you can use \"as well, also\", but it will take some contouring of words and sentence structure. A Word Usage Guide would be nice, and you can find one here http://www.uah.edu/colleges/liberal/english/shared/word_usage_guide.htm . But, in the end, your partner will find much more pleasure in the RP.

Blackmyst walks over and hands Sichae a note from the audience.

The note reads, \"Okay man you gotta go over here and over there but you musn't do this and this but it is okay to do that, as long as you have a license oh yeah and be careful of the Dragon.\" Sichae begins to vomit. This is a terrible example of good RPing. Punctuation is your friend. Run-ons and incomplete thoughts can ruin any good RP.

[Just thought this little thing might be handy for you hardcore rpers or those looking to play their rp game to the fullest, and now back to my game, I got a role to play, lol.]

" "16";"15";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 1/5/2007 6:24 pm
To: ALL (15 of 70)

The Caverns of Qexelcrag Legend of the Green Dragon MoTD
Ye Olde Mail: 0 new, 12 old
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—Village Gates—
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Forest
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Bluspring's Warrior Training
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Cavernous Qexelcrag, home of the dwarves Deep in the heart of Mount Qexelcrag lie the ancient caverns that the Dwarves have called home for centuries. Colossal columns, covered with deeply carved geometric shapes, stretch up into the darkness, supporting the massive weight of the mountain above. All around you, stout dwarves discuss legendary treasures and drink heartily from mighty steins, which they readily fill from tremendous barrels nearby.
[-]
A cleverly crafted crystal prism allows a beam of light to fall through a crack in the great ceiling.
It illuminates age old markings carved into the cavern floor, telling you that on the surface it is 2:56 am.
[-]
A second prism marks out the date on the calendar as Year 1002, Saliern
25.
Yet a third shows the day of the week as Deimsdaei. So finely wrought are these displays that you marvel at the cunning and skill involved.
[-]
Crazy Audrey is here with her mice!
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The local villagers are busy erecting a statue to the latest dragon killer of their community, Lord Drakhaon Gavril.
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Latest News
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Cobalt Manticore has slain the Penguin, and saved the entire Penguin City from death and destruction.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Farmboy Trik has challenged their master, Amorous Acer Rock and lost! \"Farmboy Trik, your lack of posture is a disgrace,\" Amorous Acer Rock states.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[-]
Pounding an empty stein against a yet unopened barrel of ale, wondering how to get to the sweet nectar inside is Farmboy SOME PERSON.
[-]
Outside the Clan Halls you can see Sativ selling Christmas trees to clans!
The biggest, sparkliest, twinkliest tree belongs to the Gallant Order of Dragon Slayers clan!
Many of the other halls, also sport beautifully decorated trees in their windows.
[-]
A Magical Potion Shoppe sits in the village.
AInventory
Extra Info
Free Travel20
Dragonkills0
Days Since DK31
Donation Points (Available)0
Donation Points (Total)100
DrunkenessSober
Player Fights (PVPs)4
Click and use ItemsHealing Potions
FriendsFriend Count
You have 1 logged-in friends.
List O' BudsTrik.
BuffsStorm Giant's Boulder

[Me and Trik have the same hometown, him being a Dwarf and me being a Storm Giant now, yes that's right I have been upgraded from Troll to Storm Giant! :D Probably because I just plain rule.]

" "16";"16";"

From: Stargoyle Staff 1/12/2007 11:23 pm
To: ALL (16 of 70)

« Legend of the Green Dragon - Text Adventure »

THE KNIGHTS ERRANT :: Games :: General Games :: Legend of the Green Dragon - Text Adventure Topic: Legend of the Green Dragon - Text Adventure (Read 37 times) matrixArmy of Darkness****member is offline
Legend of the Green Dragon - Text Adventure« Thread Started on Jan 10, 2007, 10:45am »
This is a link to a cool text adventure Barn got me into:http://www.chillywhack.com/dragon/referral.php?r=catrixIf you follow the link and get to lvl 4, I'll get some referral points.Try it out - it's fun!

BarnCatDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - I kinda figured this would take on a life of it's own and wondered if I shouldn't have started it's own thread, good catch. I'll leave the Conquered...line for introductory and where each game applies to {CAT}. If one of those territories takes off? {To make it easier on Raiven, *blush* heh} It's own thread works. Btw, Kokodrgn has recently joined in on the fun. Enow I head over there to lay an almighty storm giant wallomping upon him, lol. Jk. Just hold still just in case. Btw I have a 6000 bounty on me for decimating a dwarf army, if anyone's lookin for some cool cash, take on meee, take on me taaake me onnnn, take on me, lol.

KoKoDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - lol i died twice. i have no more torment. dont know if thats good. my soul is half gone too. and im out of traveling funds and turns. ugh i hate waiting... fun game though. i enjoyed goin to all the towns and lookin at what barn posts lol

matrixArmy of Darkness****member is offline
Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - I'm lvl 11 now & got jailed a 2nd time - I tried robbing the bank, lol!

BarnCatDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - What's a good name for a Clan for over there? FarmahermInsidius wants to collect up on the bounty on me and slipt it with me, but I'm rapidly becoming the G_3 of that place. One more level to go and I face the mighty Green Dragon.

BarnCatDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - To take the dark blue pill and cure heartburn and indigestion and acid trip reflux in under 20 minutes: http://www.chillywhack.com/dragon/referral.php?r=Cobalt%20Manticore To take the light blue pill and decongest your nasals and sarcophagus from phlegm: http://www.chillywhack.com/dragon/referral.php?r=Trik You guys got your links? They can be found in JCP's Hunters Lodge under Referrals, go ahead, flaunt your wares you little hussies, lol. {You will Love those points!}

BarnCatDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - I now stand on the precipice of being amongst theee Mightiest in the game. Thought I'd take a break {that and I gotta go to work soon, lol}, and let one fervent persistent wild Shader go frenzymadcrazy and catch up! He who is level 15, fights the Green Dragon, and can start a clan, at least that's what they tell me there.

RAIVENDarkShadows ***Twelfth Disciple[P:0]member is offline
Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - Ya bunch of hooligans!!

BarnCatDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - Yes, but hooligans with mean moves, yo. I am level 15, but the Green Dragon is a big brick wall for awhile, might have to amp up my weaponry, stack up some buffs, etc.
This LotGD thing is Not Just Chilly/Squishy's, but an actual game server download thingy. A few of the other members there have got their own versions, which to me kinda cheapens things from lack of distinctive niche, but still quite fun. And I want my own version!

Eventually. Maybe. {I've been striving for a game with built in forum or vice versa for awhile now}
Congrats on your honorary title Matrix/Catrix! The way I play you'd think I'd have won it by now, lol.

{COAT} ..a mixture of COC & CAT.. Chaotic Outlanders Animal Tribe?

{CAOS} ..CAT/COC/SOC blended.. Chaos Animate Outside of Shade?

{SKEW} Shade's Knights Errant Worldwide? Just trying out some ideas. Well... off to my cavern I go for today, one of you may yet still be able to catch up and overtake. Best of all lucks to ya.

The Green Dragon's a tough customer!

matrixArmy of Darkness****member is offline
Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - I like CAOS! I tried the came costume as you Barn - pretty funny...I'm close to you - lvl 14 now and my weaponry is MUCH better than before, lol...take a look at me when you are on again....Next task for me will be to get enough Stone to build my shack...

KoKoDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - i just hit level 10. matrix you get that gold? some old dude said to give it to someone. oh if he tells you to give it to someone DONT search for yourself. he gets pissed and steals all your gold lol. he took 3k. ugh. this sucks. im still a farmie.

BarnCatDrgNChaotic Animal Re: Legend of the Green Dragon - I cheesed out and bought two shacks, lol. Koko try a Haunters Lodge, they're in most towns, and their costumes rent out for various lengths of time, the Esoterra costumes are free. I'm sooo heading back in there. As. in. NOW!

{CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WHO HAVE SLAIN THE GREEN DRAGON! Welcome to the next level.} The Green Dragon! Legend of the Green Dragon MoTD ~ ~ ~ Fight ~ ~ ~ You have encountered The Green Dragon which lunges at you with Great Flaming Maw! Level: 18 Start of round:The Green Dragon's Hitpoints: 210YOUR Hitpoints: 131 You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 6 damage. A huge fist of earth pummels The Green Dragon for 37 points. You regenerate for 15 health. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 3 points of damage! Your weapon wails as you deal no damage to your opponent. The Green Dragon hits you for 27 points of damage! Your weapon wails as you deal no damage to your opponent. Next round: The boulder is flung at The Green Dragon, but it MISSES! A huge fist of earth pummels The Green Dragon for 14 points. You regenerate for 15 health. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 7 points of damage! Your weapon wails as you deal no damage to your opponent. The Green Dragon tries to hit you but you RIPOSTE for 2 points of damage! You are healed for 2 health.Your weapon's aura fades.Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 9 damage. A huge fist of earth pummels The Green Dragon for 5 points. You regenerate for 15 health. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 8 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 10 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 9 damage. A huge fist of earth pummels The Green Dragon for 11 points. You regenerate for 15 health. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 2 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 20 points of damage! The earthen fist crumbles to dust. Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 8 damage. You regenerate for 15 health. You hit The Green Dragon for 2 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 9 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 5 damage. You regenerate for 15 health. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 8 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 8 points of damage! You have stopped regenerating. Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 9 damage. You hit The Green Dragon for 7 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 15 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 11 damage. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 11 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 16 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 8 damage. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 2 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 9 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 2 damage. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 3 points of damage! The Green Dragon tries to hit you but you RIPOSTE for 5 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 2 damage. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 2 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 13 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 8 damage. You hit The Green Dragon for 16 points of damage! The Green Dragon hits you for 11 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 2 damage. You hit The Green Dragon for 1 points of damage! The Green Dragon tries to hit you but you RIPOSTE for 11 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 8 damage. You try to hit The Green Dragon but are RIPOSTED for 1 points of damage! The Green Dragon tries to hit you but you RIPOSTE for 11 points of damage! Next round: You lift your Boulder and it comes crashing down on The Green Dragon for 4 damage. With a mighty final blow, The Green Dragon lets out a tremendous bellow and falls at your feet, dead at last. Vital Info Name Egyptian Pharaoh Cobalt Manticore Level15 Hitpoints38/154 Turns20 Attack27 Defense27+7 SpiritsNormal AlignmentEvil Specialty Mystical Powers Favor130 Player Kills0 Race Storm Giant Personal Info Gold0 Gems2 Experience36650 Home City Qexelcrag Charm2 Gold in Bank1906 Seen MasterNo Next day2h 23m 09s Souls30 Wood2 Equipment Info WeaponAnkh (12) ArmorSphinx (12) Inventory Open Inventory Extra Info Free Travel 20 Dragonkills 1 Days Since DK 53 Donation Points (Available)0 Donation Points (Total)100 Drunkeness Sober Player Fights (PVPs) 4 Click and use Items Healing Potions Friends Friend Count You have 2 logged-in friends. List O' Buds catrix, KoKoDrgn. Buffs Storm Giant's Boulder {It is kinda a bummer being started over from the level 15 cap, but I find a reason to go on. Way more of a bummer that I still cannot seem to start up a clan as it's still calling me too much of a farmboy to get one going. I'm trying out a different race now to keep things spicy.}

{The real pivotal battle with the most badåßß creature of the game though, took place like this!} The Forest Look for Something to KillGo ThrillseekingSearch SuicidallySeek out the Penguin—Other— ~ ~ ~ Fight ~ ~ ~ You have encountered Thieving Kender which lunges at you with Whirling Hoopak! Level: 1 Start of round:Thieving Kender's Hitpoints: 8YOUR Hitpoints: 13 You hit Thieving Kender for 1 points of damage! Thieving Kender tries to hit you but MISSES! Next round: You hit Thieving Kender for 2 points of damage! Thieving Kender tries to hit you but MISSES! Next round: You hit Thieving Kender for 1 points of damage! Thieving Kender tries to hit you but MISSES! Next round: You hit Thieving Kender for 2 points of damage! Thieving Kender tries to hit you but MISSES! The cloud of flies vanishes ... you can see through them to the Thieving Kender. Next round: You hit Thieving Kender for 1 points of damage! Thieving Kender tries to hit you but MISSES! Next round: You hit Thieving Kender for 2 points of damage! You only wish you could pickpocket your money back from the thief. You have slain Thieving Kender! You receive 9 gold!You receive 15 total experience!~~ Flawless Fight! ~~You receive an extra turn! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Name Peasant Cobalt Manticore Level 1 Specialty Beast Calling Race Barbarian Home City Formenya WeaponFrigid Fearsome Fists of the Forest (3)ArmorHaggard Hirsute Hairy Hide of Himself (2) Dragonkills1 Days Since DK1 You have 2 logged-in friends. List O' Buds catrix, KoKoDrgn. BuffsNone

{I'll do some more looking into things to see if I can get a clan started ther yet like they said I could, well indirectly. Can't start a clan as a farmboy, can't kill green dragon til level 15, stop being a farmboy by killing green dragon, killed green dragon, not a farmboy anymore, still can't start a clan.}

" "16";"17";"

From: CryptoKnight Staff 2/17/2007 10:36 pm
To: ALL (17 of 70)

Character Biography: Apprentice Cobalt Manticore Legend of the Green Dragon
MoTD
—Statistical Analysis—
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View Statistical Analysis
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Vote for Absolute Ruler KoKo PenDragn
Do Us ALL a Favor And Vote KoKo!!!
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Biography for Apprentice Cobalt Manticore.
Title: Apprentice
Level: 9
Status: Online
Resurrections: 2
Race: Dwarf
Gender: Male
Specialty: Dragoon Specialty
Creature: Black Unicorn
[-]
Alignment: Evil
[-]
Weapon: Mistress Handcuffs
Armor: Haggard Hirsute Hairy Hide of Himself
[-]
Penguin Kills: 5
[-]
Tattoos: tiger, skull, symbol, snake, star
[-]
Pet: The Master the Gray Tabby
[-]
Player Kills: 2
[-]
Times Been Poked: 6
[-]
Completed Quests: 0
[-]
Estimated Time Played: 6 days, 19 hours
Dragon Kills: 4
Bio:
[A Vote for Me is a Vote for Me.]
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Avatar:
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Apprentice Cobalt Manticore is a member of the Holy Redeemer's Guild.
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Contact Wizardry:
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Apprentice Cobalt Manticore is currently on a Quest -Anguls Child - .
[-]
Age: 33 Years
Eyecolor: Wild, but cold and glassy change color completely with his mood.
Haircolor: A bristling tangle of metallic cobalt blue.
Bio:
[Named for a Legendary Hero from another realm, and the Mythical Beast who guided him, in hopes of a Legend All his Own. Whether he\\'s a Farmboy Peasant Barbarian Thief Troll StormGiant Dwarf BeastCaller Monk Thief Mystic Dragoon through all these changes one thing shall never change, his changability. He walks among you, a cobalt shadow from darker realms to this new and wondrous world.]

Recent accomplishments (and defeats) of Apprentice Cobalt Manticore
Sat, Feb 17
The sheriff arrested Apprentice Cobalt Manticore in the forest!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, MoonGoddess NightEagle to advance to level 8 after 10 days!!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, KillinMachine to advance to level 9 after 10 days!!
The body of Apprentice Cobalt Manticore, well what was left of them, was discovered near a lagoon.
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore haunted Absolute Ruler KoKo PenDragn!
Fri, Feb 16
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has discovered the Haunted Museum.
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Lord Drakhaon Gavril to advance to level 5 after 6 days!!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Toboe to advance to level 6 after 7 days!!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Gabriel to advance to level 7 after 8 days!!
Thu, Feb 15
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has slain the Penguin, and saved the entire Penguin City from death and destruction.
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, DragonKing to advance to level 3 after 2 days!!
The sheriff arrested Apprentice Cobalt Manticore in the forest!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore tried to break out of jail, but ended up in Andy Griffith's house!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Playful Pandora to advance to level 4 after 4 days!!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has fired a Wind Dart upon Absolute Ruler KoKo PenDragn!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has discovered the Haunted Museum.
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore is a big ass chicken...and took the easy way out....
Wed, Feb 14
Today the government spent 57547 gold on paying city officials.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has challenged their master, Celestial Warlord Tarl and lost!
\"ARRRGGGGGGG!!\" Knight Cobalt Manticore screams in frustration.
Knight Cobalt Manticore defeated Farmgirl mamabear in fair combat in the fields of Romar.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has fired a Ghost Dart upon Farmgirl mamabear!
Knight Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Romar and slew the vile fiend!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Celestial Warlord Tarl to advance to level 14 after 24 days!!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has challenged their master, The GateKeeper Zaarus and lost!
\"This both sucks and blows!\" wails Knight Cobalt Manticore.
The sheriff arrested Knight Cobalt Manticore in the forest!
Knight Cobalt Manticore farts violently! All around the world, people recoil in horror.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has been slain while attacking Lord Incubus in the fields of Formenya.
\"A baby could wield a Fists better than that!\" Lord Incubus proclaims.
Knight Cobalt Manticore escaped the Underworld by slaying a powerful and vile fiend!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has been resurrected by Ramius.
Today the government spent 146394 gold on repairing streets.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has slain the vile Grue !
Knight Cobalt Manticore farts violently! All around the world, people recoil in horror.
Knight Cobalt Manticore farts violently! All around the world, people recoil in horror.
Knight Cobalt Manticore farts violently! All around the world, people recoil in horror.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, The GateKeeper Zaarus to advance to level 15 after 26 days!!
Knight Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Glukmoore and slew the vile fiend!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has been slain when he encountered The Green Dragon!!! His bones now litter the cave entrance, just like the bones of those who came before.
\"The Healer's Hut can't help you now, Knight Cobalt Manticore!\" chides The Green Dragon.
Knight Cobalt Manticore escaped the Underworld by slaying a powerful and vile fiend!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has been resurrected by Ramius.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has slain the hideous creature known as The Green Dragon. All across the land, people rejoice!
Cobalt Manticore has earned the title Apprentice for having slain the Green Dragon 4 times!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore tried to get ConArtist Joe jailed for a day. Isn't that horrible??
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Squishy to advance to level 2 after 1 day!!
Apprentice Cobalt Manticore has been destroyed by the Penguin Overlord.
Tue, Feb 13
Knight Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Silly Faerie Mayweed to advance to level 12 after 21 days!!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Lady Mislee to advance to level 13 after 21 days!!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has given themselves up at the jail house.
Knight Cobalt Manticore won the 225th Interspecies Spelling Bee in the forest!
Sat, Feb 10
Knight Cobalt Manticore has challenged their master, Silly Faerie Mayweed and lost!
\"ARRRGGGGGGG!!\" Knight Cobalt Manticore screams in frustration.
Fri, Feb 09
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has been slain while attacking Lord Incubus in the fields of Romar.
\"You know, you really shouldn't have a Fists unless you know how to use it,\" suggested Lord Incubus.
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has been resurrected by Ramius.
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Elemenia and was mugged!
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has given themselves up at the jail house.
Today the government spent 811938 gold on repairing streets.
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, MoonGoddess NightEagle to advance to level 8 after 14 days!!
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore defeated a Dwarven Patrol in the deep forest! The adventure was a profitable one! But Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has had a bounty of 6000 gold placed on his head.
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, KillinMachine to advance to level 9 after 14 days!!
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Under Hill and was mugged!
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has given themselves up at the jail house.
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has discovered the Haunted Museum.
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Glukmoore and slew the vile fiend!
Suicidal Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Amorous Acer Rock to advance to level 10 after 15 days!!
Knight Cobalt Manticore killed the last giant in the quarry! It's safe to return to work there.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Sweetest Cinity to advance to level 11 after 15 days!!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has given themselves up at the jail house.
Knight Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Elemenia and slew the vile fiend!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore dumped water from a castle tower on VillageIdiot Dealer!
Knight Cobalt Manticore has fired a Ugly Dart upon VillageIdiot Dealer!
VillageIdiot Dealer was seen licking peanut butter off a donkey's butt!
Someone just made a purchase from the Prankatorium.
Knight Cobalt Manticore has given themselves up at the jail house.
Thu, Feb 08
Thief Cobalt Manticore was attacked by a bandit in Glukmoore and slew the vile fiend!
Thief Cobalt Manticore has defeated his master, Toboe to advance to level 6 after 8 days!!
Thief Cobalt Manticore has fired a Pixie Voice Dart upon Satan!
Thief Cobalt Manticore has been slain while attacking Satan in the fields of Romar.
\"This both sucks and blows!\" wails Thief Cobalt Manticore.
Thief Cobalt Manticore was torn apart by zombies in the graveyard.
Thief Cobalt Manticore haun